Anyone else's OH make them feel fat?

[abz]

i would totally lose it if my OH did this. he says the odd thing and i end up upset and he apologises because he doesn't understand that by saying one thing he infers another, ha. but he would never call me fat!! even though i was overweight to start with and am enormous now.

shock tactics are the only thing i can see working. either yelling or bawling. either way, he needs to know that his behaviour is upsetting you. it sounds like you've tried to calmly explain. and don't start putting yourself down before he can. you have no reason to. enjoy your last few weeks of pregnancy hon

abz xx

 

[maytobe]

i would be furious if my dh even looked at me like he thought i was eating too much! I was a little over weight to start with and have put on 2 stone during this pregnancy - as i'm short it makes me look like a whale...

If my dh made such comments he would find himself locked out of the house - as the others say at least you eat healthy stuff - if i snack it's on chocolate constantly...

i honestly don't know how you put up with it. It could be worse - one lady in my nct group has put on a reasonable amount of weight and weighed nearly 15 stone and was told by her dh if she reached 15 stone they were headed for divorce...he also did weekly measurements to see how big her boobs, stomache, arse etc had got...

honestly men can be such w***as.

Dont let it get to you hon - you'll be able to lose it once you've had the baby no problem

big hugs

xxx

oh. My. God.!!!!!!!

Like, totally. If a man said/did that to me, I'd take it as a sign from above that his ass has to be kicked to the curb.

 

[555ann555]

You need to let him know that you're not finding this funny, and that it really hurts.

Mine occasionally makes a stupid insensitive comment about my weight gain (which I don't actually know as I haven't weighed myself since 12 weeks!) or about me losing the weight again after the birth... In a way I can understand, I worked really hard to lose 40 lbs just before I got pregnant, and he knows I'll want to lose it again, but it is the very last thing on my mind while the baby is still inside me!

 

[kristen77]

I think these things sometimes start off as a joke but then as we are getting bigger and more uncomfy they quickly stop being funny. My OH said I looked like a blamange the other day as I was wearing a not very flattering pink nighty - he's always very flattering towards me and totally meant it as a joke but I was p*ssed!! And another friend calls me "fatty". I know she is only joking and at first I would laugh along but now I just feel like smacking her when she does it!!! I would have a word with your OH and make sure he knows how you feel AND that in third tri we are meant to be upping our calorie intake so both we and the baby get enough (you don't have to tell him it's only by 2/300 calories!).

xx

 

[aliss]

He sounds clueless and dumb. Break down crying, make him feel like crap, and that should send the message. As much as I'd like to recommend talking to him like adults, I think he's being a little dense and you need to hit him where it hurts... no, not THAT part of him, but his pride.

 

[marie-louise]

I think your OH is being an idiot and I wouldn't listen to him if I were you! I have been doing quite well with my diet and weight gain this pg, even though I was overweight to begin with, gaining around 18-20 pounds so far. This week it has totally gone to pot altogether, I sent my hubby out to get me cream buns and ice cream this morning at 8am. He didn't bat an eyelid and even now, after a huuge dinner he has asked me if I needed anything else. I know he prefers it when i'm slimmer but in pregnancy we are expected to eat and gain weight, it's natural and nothing we should be ashamed of! Enjoy your snacks lady!!!

 

[Lara310809]

Sorry you're having to deal with all this. I know that men can be like this during pregnancy, but I haven't had this. My husband has been really supportive and hasn't commented on anything. In the first tri I was eating 6 meals a day, but now I eat only 2 meals, and I normally have to force myself to eat the second because I don't ever feel hungry.

Even though you've tried to talk to him about it before, he obviously doesn't understand just how much it's upsetting you, so you need to get it through to him. After the birth you will probably feel even more insecure, as you will have the baby weight, and your belly won't be what it was pre-pregnancy; especially in the first months post-partum. It's important you tell him to stop now while you still have the baby in your belly, so he won't start commenting on your post-partum belly.

Honestly, you would think a man could be more supportive and understanding. I bet he wouldn't like it if you brought attention to his shortcomings. Perhaps you could use that to remind him. Say something like "you know I have an issue with my weight; and you commenting on it all the time isn't helping. How would you feel if I kept commenting and laughing at you because you're balding/going grey early/short/putting on weight?" - I don't know if it would help, but it's worth tying it into one of his obsessions, because then he could see it from your POV.

 

[muddles]

Tell him to piss off! You will go back to eating normally once you have the baby. I am a bit petty though and I'd start making similar comments about him with something he is insecure about. As I say though I am a bit petty

 

[Boudica]

My OH has put on weight during my pregnancy. When we cuddle our stomachs meet in the middle long before the rest of us get anywhere near each other. (He also has other pregnancy symptoms but that's another story)

I have teased him mercilessly about this weight gain and I have to say that reading this thread has made me feel rather ashamed of myself. He takes it in good spirits but I guess he must hurt a little bit underneath. He has never commented on my weight (he still lovingly thinks of me as a size 12 Hahaha).

I shall stop doing it now.

 

[better2gether]

If my OH were saying those things, he would be sleeping on the couch or getting a punch below the belt. Or maybe both.

I told my boyfriend from the VERY beginning to not ask how much I weigh now or during the course of my pregnancy, and also to not comment on how much I'm eating. I told him I would of course try to eat healthy and as long as I'm not chugging soda or just eating fast food, he should back off. Sometimes he gives me a look like, "You're eating again?" I usually give him my mean look and that settles it. I think he is amazed I'm eating more than him now. Well, he can keep that to himself. I don't want to feel like a circus with him looking at me like I grew another head. I'm PREGNANT! lol. I'm sorry, but I've never been so hungry in my life! I have to eat every two hours or my stomach starts to grumble and then baby girl kicks the heck out of me. Pregnancy doesn't last forever, so these men can just DEAL with it and keep their traps shut. OP, I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[nikkibr]

thanks ladies! i like the ideas of coming back at him about something he is insecure about! so think i will be trying that one soon...tonights comment was "oi tubby" when trying to get my attention!!! i'm feeling more positive about it now and next time he does say something that hurts me he won't know whats hit him!!! xx

 

[kristen77]

thanks ladies! i like the ideas of coming back at him about something he is insecure about! so think i will be trying that one soon...tonights comment was "oi tubby" when trying to get my attention!!! i'm feeling more positive about it now and next time he does say something that hurts me he won't know whats hit him!!! xx

WHOOP! Excellent, go for it!! Love your avatar BTW - brill pic!

 

[mommy-in-june]

Aww hun! Sorry you have to deal with this!

No offense, but he's acting like an immature disrespectful ass. I can't imagine my fiance talking to me like that. I wouldn't argue, or try to justify my behavior- I would just completely shut down and stop talking to him until he could treat me with respect. Or maybe every time he says something demeaning, you can say "shut the hell up" really mean and then tell him you're "just joking"... See how he likes it!

 

[nikkibr]

WHOOP! Excellent, go for it!! Love your avatar BTW - brill pic!

thanks hunni!! she does look like a little cutie- can't wait to meet her! xx

 

[sophxx]

ive put on about a stone and half i was very very thin before and my oh thinks i look lovely! sometimes he jokes about food because hes not used to me eating alot as i was ill before being pregnant but he says he doesnt want me to loose the weight!

if he was was making fun of me i wouldnt speak to him id be so mad! x