Anyone ever rethink TTC

[alison29]

IT's not bearing witness to my children puking or them puking on me that bugs me it's feeling like death would be better then this when you are nauseas...UH drama queen maybe I was so lucky last time i got the flu my mom was in town she bought me ginger ale. My dh sucks and does not offer any care taking he will pop his head in the door and say, "You still alive" then scatter like a roach when the lights go on.

Oh yeah i need a pg journal to stalk

 

[crystal443]

IT's not bearing witness to my children puking or them puking on me that bugs me it's feeling like death would be better then this when you are nauseas...UH drama queen maybe I was so lucky last time i got the flu my mom was in town she bought me ginger ale. My dh sucks and does not offer any care taking he will pop his head in the door and say, "You still alive" then scatter like a roach when the lights go on.

Oh yeah i need a pg journal to stalk

I def need a pregnancy journal to stalk!!! My DH will moan and go on and on when he gets sick I treat him like he's one of the kids sick and he's happy

 

[Indigo77]

No more puke talk PLEASE!

 

[readyformore]

Yesterday, I was really rethinking ttc.

We were out on vacation, and I had a really bad upset stomach one night.
It made me think how horrible my morning sickness is (24/7 from 4 weeks to 20 weeks. Then back again at 36 weeks. Not fun and certaintly debilitates me. I literally lay on the couch unless I go to work. It feels horrible. I stopped cooking/cleaning/running errands, etc. My kids would eat cereal 3X a day for weeks on end. It was BAAAAADDDD). And then from there, I started thinking about labor (my last birth was the worse for me).

Not sure why this all popped in my head, but it is not something to look forward too, that's for sure. After my last prenancy/birth I told my husband "If I want to do this again, remind me of how bad it is."

If I look at my children, I can see that they are worth it. But, still. . . . . . .

 

[alison29]

I am sure i told a lot of people that i was never doing this again! It is so worth it though. Ready for more that sounds JUST like me laying on the couch not doing anything or eating pickles and olives in hopes that would make the sickness go away. I remember sitting in the stall of the bathroom at work saying to the universe oh god please let it stop! When i am not laying on the couch i am ordering bitching ha ha ha. Every pregnancy is different though maybe we will be lucky the next itme and not have the sickness and their will be snowballs in hell and pigs flying.

 

[Indigo77]

When we were on vacation, I was seriously reconsidering all of this. Will I get to wander around the art museum all day with a kid? Doubtful. It's nice being able to do what you want and only cater to yourself.
If I really think about it, having to cater to a kid all the time could get annoying and boring.

Do any of you ever get to leave your kids with relatives for a week and go off on your own?
Our parents are too old now be able to handle it and we don't have any relos that live around here...

 

[readyformore]

When we were on vacation, I was seriously reconsidering all of this. Will I get to wander around the art museum all day with a kid? Doubtful. It's nice being able to do what you want and only cater to yourself. If I really think about it, having to cater to a kid all the time could get annoying and boring.

Do any of you ever get to leave your kids with relatives for a week and go off on your own?
Our parents are too old now be able to handle it and we don't have any relos that live around here...

A week?
Honestly, that number shocked me!
I don't think I could leave them for a week. A couple of days maybe, but not a week.

About 4 times a year, my mom takes them overnight. So, we have from about 6pm, til noon the next day. That's it. And last time she kept them, I had to work, so it didn't even benefit us.

Our oldest son is almost 9, and my husband and I have never been without our kids for more than 20 hours in all of that time. 9 years. We've never been away without them. We go on vacation, we just take them with us.

I would probably go away for a weekend, especially now that they are all a little older. But, it has never been offered to us.

 

[dachsundmom]

Indigo, I have left DD for vacations before and still do; she has also traveled on her own to visit her SD's side of the family.

Does it take a lot of planning? Sure does...but I don't regret it at all and I enjoy my adult only time...maybe I am weird, lol.

 

[Indigo77]

I can understand not leaving them when they are small.

But I can't wrap my head around not having ANY adult time for 9 years!

 

[readyformore]

I do go out at least once a month to have dinner with my girlfriends.
So, I do get alone time.
My husband is very supportive of that. He'll come home from work, feed the kids the dinner I have made, and put them to bed while I go out.
I'll do the same for him. If he calls and wants to go out to the bar after work with his buddies, 99% of the time I don't have a problem with it.
It's just hard to get both of us out.

I do have to say, that my kids are usually in bed and asleep at 9. If we want time alone, we put them to bed, pop some popcorn and snuggle up with a movie. It's cheap, we get plenty of alone time, and to be honest, I'm not in my twenties anymore. I have no desire to go out til 3am dancing and drinking (not that I ever did much of that anyway).

 

[dachsundmom]

I think it depends on the child; I only have DD and for many years we were on our own...just bc her SD left and then the nature of N's job.

 

[readyformore]

I can understand not leaving them when they are small.

But I can't wrap my head around not having ANY adult time for 9 years!

If I really wanted to do it, I would.

I'm just one of those very strange people that likes to spend time with her kids.

I like taking them shopping with me. I enjoy going on vacation with them.

I also breastfeed for extensive periods of time (1.5-2 years), and I don't separate from them during that time except to work. I even brought my 9 month old baby to Vegas with me while I was standing up in a wedding. Yes, dd has been weaned for over a year now, but we just haven't felt the need to go away without them. Although, DH would jump at the chance if I presented it.

 

[Indigo77]

So you never in 9 years have ever felt like getting away for a weekend?

 

[readyformore]

So you never in 9 years have ever felt like getting away for a weekend?

If you're going to pay for it, watch my kids, and stay home with the dog, then yes I will.

I have 1 sitter that could do it. My mom. She watches my kids for me while I'm at work, so about 7 days a month for her. I can't ask her to do more b/c I don't want to wear out my welcome.
And like I said, she's never offered.

 

[googly]

Indigo, it's something I think about as well... I think it's natural when you get to late thirties without having had kids, and all the freedom that means. I worry about it when it comes to finances and travel too. Finances aren't a problem now, but my days of prolific internet shopping might have to be over if we have an LO! But the ability to just decide to go away for the weekend:::::: especially as we live in a country whether neither my nor DH's parents live - it's going to be hard to do that.

I guess everything changes when you have kids though, maybe we won't want to. I fully intend to drag my LOs around with me/us everywhere anyway, to all parts of the world and beyond. <spoken like a woman who doesn't have any children yet>

 

[readyformore]

I guess everything changes when you have kids though, maybe we won't want to. I fully intend to drag my LOs around with me/us everywhere anyway, to all parts of the world and beyond. <spoken like a woman who doesn't have any children yet>

That's basically how I feel.

And, although I wouldn't necessarily mind time alone with my husband, I also feel that it is my responsibility as a parent to 'show my kids the world'. kwim?

I choose to work part-time instead of full-time to be home as much as possible with my kids. And, I have 3 children, that's 5 people; we cannot afford to fly. Period. It's a choice I made. Maybe some day we'll fly, but not in the next few years while they are so little and I'm bearly working myself. As they get older and go to school, maybe I'll work more and earn more money, but not now.

If I'm going to go to a great vacation spot, I always want my kids to come too. I want to show them the great lakes, or wherever it is I'm going. So, I take them with me.

And spending $200 for a hotel for a couple of nights with not many attractions just doesn't sound appealing when I can use that money for ski-club, winter coats, camping fees, etc. We'll just stay home and watch a movie after they go to bed, it's free.

It's just my decision and lifestyle. . . . . but I can tell you that I don't regret it, not a little bit. I do not feel that I have missed out on anything in my adult life due to my choices to spend basically all of my time with my kids.
They're my kids, not some stranger's kids that I can't stand. My kids are pretty cool (of course, we all feel that way about our own).

I wouldn't let that worry keep you from having kids.

 

[Jennifer01]

Just thought I would butt in here bc it's something me and oh have been talking about lately. I have a child from previous that will be in college soon, oh has no kids. We really thought I would have been pg, and given birth by now. In many ways we are desperate, and just want it to happen NOW! But when we were talking about how far we were willing to go (medically) we decided we wouldn't go ivf, not because we have anything against it, we just don't want to go there(I'm not great with medical stuff to start!) When I was worried about him not ever experiencing having his own child, his comment was "I really love our life, so I can't get too upset can I". Which made me feel better. I have a strong family connection that offers to take my child to do things, stay over, and they always have. And we really enjoy our time for just us! And financially if we didn't have a child we would be laughing! I'm trying to think less about the what ifs, and just let whatever happens, happen.

 

[Indigo77]

That's where I was, Jennifer.

Now, I want to do IVF in January....

I will probably go back to that place again once AF arrives...

 

[Jennifer01]

Indigo,
Honestly I think I change my mind every day (or my hormones change it for me ) I think sometimes I tell myself things so I won't be disappointed. I never really recovered mentally from the birth of my child, even though it was 17 yrs ago. I was 19 and had pre eclampsia, and went through alot-what I mean by all this is when I see a doctor coming I run!! my first fs appointment was really scary, never mind ivf (I am trying to get up the (balls?) to get all the testing done.) Are you scheduled in for ivf?
Have you done any other treatments?
Ps ttc sucks!

 

[Jennifer01]

I just realized indigo, we are both 6 dpo!!!