Anyone feeling lonely in your marriage?

[Jenn2722]

I love my husband with all of my heart, and his kids adore him! In all of my years married (9 years) I never thought that I could feel so alone. My husband doesn't want me to mention when I'm fertile, so I don't tell him anymore. I hide my OPK's and never say a word (he's on a medication that affects his ability to finish, and feels pressured when it's sex during my fertile window). Okay, so all of that is fine. But what's not okay with me is that he NEVER wants me. I know I'm being whiny, but my feelings are crushed. We are lucky to BD twice a month, and we are only 30!!!! It seems like every time I'm fertile, his stomach hurts, or he's tired, or he has a headache, etc. I thought I was the one that was supposed to say those things. I know his medication doesn't help his libido, but it just seems like I'm the only one making any effort at all. I got a positive OPK (AGAIN...this is a weird cycle). I got my hopes up for a night out, kids are staying over with Grandma, saw a good movie, ate good food. It was wonderful, and I kept telling him how I couldn't wait to be "alone" with him tonight. Hint, hint....Right???? He comes home, says his stomach hurts (even though no funky smells from the bathroom...okay, sorry for the TMI. He hits the bed and goes straight to sleep!!! He slept until 10 this morning, and I got up at 7. Are you kidding me???? Help, ladies! Anybody ever feel this way or have ideas? I'm desperate and don't know how much more I can take!

I completely know where your coming from... Me and my Fiance have been together for 3 years and we have sex once a month if that... Doesn't help that he started working mornings and works 7 days a week at 12 hour days.. Yes, I get that he is tired and needs his rest.. So I let him nap for awhile, soo maybe I will get a little action at night, NOPE doesn't happen!! Doesn't help that I have gained some weight since we have gotten together and I have a few health problems.. I have stomach problems and I have a problem with my vagina.. That makes sex very painful.. My muscles are tight down there, so I'm always tight.. Which he loved at first.. But now it has been getting worse that even when he has to go inside me, he can't always get in.. He has to strech it out.. And that is very painful but then once I get used to him, then I'm fine.. And I have told him many of times, I don't care if it hurts, I just want that bond with you.. And still nothing.. But since all that he doesn't call me beauitful if I don't say anything.. He doesn't look at me like he used too, and we hardly kiss anymore!! The only kisses I get are in the morning before he leaves for work.. Other then that, I get nothing.. I bring it up to him and he just doesn't see it.. He says he does give me kisses but I don't remember it.. Then he gives me the excuse that I just don't remember him doing it.. Last time I check my memory is fine!! And now we are trying for a girl, so we can only try on the months I will concieve a girl.. Lets just say the next 4 months we will not be having sex.. And it isn't fair cause we have gone months without having sex.. And that bothers me, and I try to talk to him about it and he just gets upsets and sleeps on the couch.. It really sucks.. It is like he doesn't love me anymore!! And that really hurts cause I'm madly in love with him... And he always makes comments that I wish we were not together or I would be happy without him.. All not true.. My son and I would be heart broken if things ended between us.. My son is all he knows as a dad.. Soo.. Your not alone..

 

[momwithbabies]

Thank you for responding, Jenn. It sucks feeling so lonely, and you can't help but think something is wrong with you. I've recently went on a diet to lose some weight, and even though I weigh as much as I did before having babies, we still aren't intimate very often. So it must be a deeper issue. If I knew how to "fix" things, I would. Emotionally, the only thing holding me together are my kids. I'm sure it's the same with you. My kids are such a blessing, and maybe I'm trying for something that's not meant to be. I'm too stubborn to give up, though

 

[Jenn2722]

Thank you for responding, Jenn. It sucks feeling so lonely, and you can't help but think something is wrong with you. I've recently went on a diet to lose some weight, and even though I weigh as much as I did before having babies, we still aren't intimate very often. So it must be a deeper issue. If I knew how to "fix" things, I would. Emotionally, the only thing holding me together are my kids. I'm sure it's the same with you. My kids are such a blessing, and maybe I'm trying for something that's not meant to be. I'm too stubborn to give up, though

I don't believe in giving up either! Now a days it is too easy to give up! But back on the day, they talked & worked it out & that is what I believe in! If I didn't have my son, I would probably be gone! Cause emotionally I can't take it anymore! It has a huge effect on my depression! Ever since all of this started I'm more emotional & testy.. All I want to know is what is going on in his head! Like what are the deeper issues I don't know about... It drives me crazy! Hopefully we can figure out our men!

 

[momwithbabies]

I wish you the best, and hope we both get this figured out (one way or the other).

 

[Jenn2722]

Thank you! It feels better that I'm not alone!