Anyone have a big age gap between children

[Donnasayle]

After 6 years of trying for a baby, we are now 18 weeks pregnant. Our first child will be nearly 13 when the baby comes, this time round I'm more scare. Please share your thoughts on how you feel

 

[donnarobinson]

No advice sorry I have small gaps but I'm sure all will be one congratulations x

 

[dani_tinks]

My son will be 6 when this baby is born. I have no experience but I think it'll be great . He's really excited to be a big brother and he's a lot more understanding now than he would have been - which is always going to be a big help.

 

[pinklightbulb]

My oldest will be six too and youngest almost four. No idea what to expect either.

 

[Misscalais]

Not me personally but i was 10 when my youngest sister arrived. The good part is big kids can help out a lot more

 

[embeth]

I have a 5 and 7 year gap between my eldest two and my current youngest it's great they adore their little brother and he adores them! Will have a 9 and nearly 8 year gap year between them and this little one when she's born, I like having it like this can't wait to add a final one to the mix! I also have two sisters who are 9 and 11 years younger than me we are all v close xx

 

[klsltsp]

I have 6 yrs between my first 2 and it's amazing... we've had no jealousy no fighting over toys, since they aren't into the same thing.. and my oldest was able to help. If I wasn't 39, we would have waited for another larger age gap will have 3 yrs this time.

I found the biggest adjustment was me, having to get up again, since my oldest was getting up in the mornings on his own and going downstairs

 

[winterbabies3]

Kind of, I have step kids that are only here on the weekends ages 13 and 10 and it's nice, no fighting over toys, they can pitch in when I need help. It will be nice cause you'll have that help all the time and you will be able to bond with baby like you did with your oldest when he/she were a baby.I think you'll find it easier. I have a very needy and a mommas boy thats 2 year's old and I don't think its gonna go over well when baby is here because of jealousy. Good luck xx

 

[svaughn8814]

I have not experience personally...however, my husband knows all about a big age gap. His younger brother is 10 years younger and he also has a sister that is 16 years younger! (His parents had 2 surprise babies). He has a VERY good relationship with both of them and they love him so much! I think it will work out awesome for you!

 

[CandiceSj]

The age gap between my kids is basically a "large age gap for being close-ish in age" LOL. 4.5 years difference, and I loved it so much it'll be another 4.5 years difference between this new baby and my second. I guess it'll count as a large age gap between my to-be 9 year old and the new baby and we'll see how that goes. I think it'll be great! Congrats on baby #2!!

 

[Nikie]

My youngest sister was born a month and a day before my 17th birthday! She is now nearly 16 and we still get on really well! She loves having older sisters to drive her around - bit cooler than having dad do it my mum loves having 5 daughters - and now we are all having our own children. She's not a particularly old mum - she had my youngest sister at age 39 but just had the first four when she was in her early twenties!

 

[harveygirl]

There will be 5 years between dd and new baby. A lot more than we planned, but that's the way it has turned out. I think she will be so excited and will be a great help.

 

[psychochick]

I was 12 when my little brother was born. My parents always made sure my brother looked up to me and I took care of him so we were always close. I'm like a caretaker-friend.

I think our age difference was actually still close enough that we actually share similar taste in music, book and games (I'm pretty sure I influenced him in a lot of these) and I feel that I can still give relevant advice (compared to my parents). I think the nice thing with the gap is that he generally listened to me, and I felt somewhat responsible for him. I think I grew up a lot being the older sister, and my bro's the primary reason I want children.

The only advice I would give is in the transition period; your older one is used to being the only child and a baby disrupts a life they've known for 13 years so they might dislike the change. As much as I loved my bro I was still annoyed that my family did nothing fun ever in the first few years. Not to mention those are the awkward and confusing years to begin with. I distinctly remember my mom's hormones going out of control and feeling really confused on why she was yelling at me. I kind of wished there would be some warning or explanation of what was happening. So I would advise a talk with your older kid on what to expect and explaining why.

And of course like PPs have said, the older kids can act as part time babysitters and help out a lot, but I think it'd be good to give a lot of positive reinforcements of this and also to encourage your younger kid to be very appreciative of this. Looking back, I definitely think I missed out on a lot of things because I had to be a babysitter, but because my bro was so great and always treated me like the most important person in the world, I still treasure those times. (I do sometimes feel a little resentful of my parents for making me give up what I wanted to do but that's another topic)

Also btw for both my college apps and my bro's college apps, we wrote about each other and how the other person shaped our lives so, I'd say our relationship is pretty special Good luck

 

[jlw617]

My youngest will be close to 6 and my oldest will be nearly 9!!! It's a long story but we basically thought we were done having children after our second, so nearly 6 years later, a vasectomy and reversal 7 months of ttc, a mmc and we are expecting our 3rd very shortly! I'm personally very excited...both my children will remember this whole experience where as my first didn't remember seeing her sister for the first time or even when her sister was a baby at all really, this time they'll both have those memories as well as being able to listen better, having a toddler and a baby can be rough although I enjoyed that too and will enjoy it again as we plan on having another one Lord willing!

 

[xdxxtx]

Mine are all right on top of each other. Lol. But my sister is 10 years older than I, and she had her two kids 10 years apart as well. My sister wanted a sibling, but I was annoying to her when she was a teenager and I just a kid. We are best friends now, though - I'm 28, and we have been close for a few years now. My older nephew did not want a sibling, and he did horribly with it and doesn't get on with his now 3 year old brother at all. The pregnancies have all been "normal", though. I am sure your pregnancy will go just fine, and I hope your kiddos get along.

 

[Nikki1979]

My little one is due a week after my sons 9th birthday. I like the bigger age gap as DS is super excited and looking forward to helping me out with the baby. My sister is almost 2 years older than me but I am not as close with her as I am with my brother who is 14 years younger than me.

 

[Domimom]

Yes, my son will be almost 11 when this baby is born. I am glad I didn't have them closer in age.

 

[Donnasayle]

Thank you everyone xx

 

[oox_tasha_xoo]

Not big as such but my oldest will be nearly 7 when baby comes... But the excitement of him makes me so happy. He literally cannot wait, keeps asking me can the baby come now...

 

[coolbabe843]

My son will be 9 when this baby is born and my daughter will be going on 8....they are 1.5 years apart so they are close in age but they are also real close and protective over each other...I have no experience but I am excited to take this journey and the kids are too...