anyone in same situation?

[DeeM73]

I'm 37 and will be 38 when our baby is born.My husband is 54 and not sure how is family will react as he has 4 older kids.We have 2 aged 13 and 12 and I know they will be over the moon when we tell them as will the rest of my family.I know I should be enjoying this experience but the thought of their reaction is worrying me sick Anyone in a similar situation? x

 

[happymamma]

I'm kinda in a similar situation, but we're both under 40. The thing is, we're having our 6th baby, and we've had quite a few negative comments so far. Ppl making this, supposed to be a happy time, into a depressing time. Im just trying to ignore them, and enjoy it! My dad, for one, said something quite hurtful, and one of my best friends, so Im trying to concentrate on the positive comments, and only talk to the ppl who are supportive and genuinely happy for us. This will be my last pg, and I really want to enjoy every minute of it! You should too !! xxx

Who cares what some ppl say!

 

[Sewergrrl]

I don't have a similar situation, but wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy! I know family is important, but if they aren't happy for you, I'm sure that YOUR family (you, DH, kids) will be thrilled and offer unconditional support and love to you. Good luck and happy & healthy 9 months to you!

 

[DeeM73]

Thank you both it should be a happy time and I know I shouldn't worry what people think.I may be surprised but I doubt it.Like I said I know my family and friends will be happy especially our 2 kids.My husband has joked with his family in the past about us having another baby and it didn't go down too well.My husband's the type that couldn't care less what they think and I so wish I was like that,time will tell.This will be my last baby too and like you say want to enjoy it.Anyway will keep you posted,thanks again ladies xx

 

[vintage67]

I am in a somewhat similar situation.

I am 44 and pregnant with my second child. I plan to FINALLY tell my mother this weekend, and it is not going to go well AT ALL. We have a 7 year old son and she is crazy about him, but did not take the news of that pregnancy very well. I have some health conditions and she thinks it is irresponsible of me to have children, and my husband and I aren't "well off" financiallly enough to suit her. We have had to ask for her help a few times over the years, not a lot, and have really "paid the price" for the help if you know what I mean!

 

[DeeM73]

Oh I hope all goes well,let me know how you get on.I'm not saying anything until after 12 weeks,not looking forward to it.I just wish family and friends would be more supportive rather than be negative.If it was the other way round I would be happy and tell them to go for it,you only get one shot at life.I keep saying to myself it's my life and our business but it will be hard to deal with the hurtful comments.I hope all goes well for you x

 

[vintage67]

Thanks! It's sad that us older moms have to deal with this! For some people it seems if you aren't having children in the neat confines of ages 25-35 that you're somehow irresponsible. Pregnancy is stressful enough without this kind of thing added to it!

 

[happymamma]

So true, about the age. My dad and his girlfriend were trying to convince me to go get 'fixed' like Im some out of control animal,.. incase I accidentally get knocked up! Well, they knew I wanted a 6th baby, so that already was hurtfull. Then, when I told him I was pg (2 mths after the conversation lol) it didnt go too well. He said I was too old and being irresponsible, and how it seems like I tend to get myself in bad situations. Well, I wouldn't call this bad,.. it's a blessing! A blessing I planned, and so happened to work 1st try.. Thank you God!!

I almost put on my facebook status, if you have nothing positive to say about my wonderful news that Im so excited about, F off! I've had enough control so far to not put that yet,.. wait till the hormones kick in a little more

 

[Sewergrrl]

A planned baby who is going to be born into a loving home is a bad situation? It's really no one's business how many kids anyone has unless the parents aren't taking care of their existing children. People really have a lot of nerve!

 

[happymamma]

True, and alot of my friends call me mama earth. My kids are my life, I just love having them. I live for them, my life totally revolves around them. Its what makes me happy! My dad said that because we ran into a little financial problem during the recession, but that's on the up now. So what, is everyone supposed to stop having babies because there was a recession? Anyways, we're fine now, we still own our house so how bad could it have been

 

[DeeM73]

It is sad right enough but when is there a right age to have a child? You do what you feel is right for you both.To me age is only a number.You'r right if people have nothing nice to say then don't say anything!! My kids are my life too and I just love being with them I always say if it's meant to be then so be it!!!

 

[jo14]

Mine is similar but different lol, i have 3 kid with my ex and my mum was fuming when I got pregnant for 3rd time, as my ex was an IDIOT to put it mildly and she told me to have an abortion although nowshe loves my kids so much she dotes on them but thinks 3 is to many even though she had 3!!! She was 40 when she had me by accident so she is older now and does not have much patience, I am now with my new partner who is 8 years younger than me and althouh he said he might want kids "one day" he was not reallly that bothered, but I explained at 36 that we could not wait years, so we decided to try, I know his parents will be more than thrilled they are ALWAYS asking us to have a baby and will be so super excited when we tell them, but they live 300 miles away. I am dreading telling my mum she will be so angry, say i am irresponsible, what about the kids I already have, that we dont have enough money, what about work, who will look after it etc, Im so scared to tell her, even though Im am so chuffed and excited I dont want it spoiling. So am waiting a while. Also I was ill with diabetes last time so I know she will think im stupid. Sorry for my rant and I hope when you tell your DH family it goes down ok xxxx

 

[Dorian]

It makes me so mad. WHY can't family/friends be happy for you?! I'm sorry you are all getting some ugly comments.

I'm a little afraid to tell my MIL. She will act happy, but also ask questions about it being good or not, as I have some medical issues. She'll, once again, try to get me to put my kids in public school (I homeschool. My kids are my life too!), etc.

But my family will be happy for me. They know I've wanted another child, and were sad for me when I lost one a few years ago.

Just try to enjoy being pregnant. You and your dh/kids are happy with it, that's really all that matters (I know though, easier said than done).

 

[DeeM73]

This is my last chance of having a child and I have been blessed to fall pregnant pretty quick.I have thought about having another baby for a number of years but always put it to the back of my mind cos of his family which I know I shouldn't.Our 2 kids were born a year apart and I thought that would be it but as they have grew over the years I've felt broody.I'm not getting any younger and just feel this would be our last chance.I just wish family and friends like you say would be more supportive rather than give lectures afterall noone is perfect.I just don't have that same happiness as my last 2 pregnancies but guess worrying how it will go and starting all over again is in my thoughts a lot.
No need to apologise Jo is good to have a rant every now and then and I hope all goes well.Thanks Jo and Dorian!!! xx

 

[April2012]

I am in a situation where it makes it hard to be excited about my pregnancy. I am 34 and this is my first baby. I am healthy, very educated and responsible. My boyfriend recently divorced his wife (who he has two young children with) to be with me. Their marriage wasn't working it had nothing to do with me). He has joint custody of his children and pays significant child support. (My point being that he takes care of his kids). Anyway......his ex wife doesn't know about my pregnancy and neither does his family. i just know the negativity that will transpire when they find out. they will call me a golddigger, homewrecker, etc. it makes me sick...and not altogether happy to be pregnant.

 

[DeeM73]

Congratulations April I sure know exactly how you feel.It was very similar for us back then when I was pregnant with our first,his mum and dad weren't exactly thrilled at the start and 2 of his kids didn't speak to him for years.It did get better as time went on but think now will be a different story.I'm not looking forward to my husband's family being told our news.Still have 4 weeks to wait so I'll be a nervous wreck until then! I know as soon as I tell my kids they will be happy which will make me feel so much better and they are all that matter as far as I'm concerned but still don't want hassle from his side.How far on are you?Wish you all the best x

 

[April2012]

Thank you, Dee, congrats to you as well! I am just shy of nine weeks pregnant. A couple of years ago I had an abortion (which I feel horrible about), the situation I was in at the time was very abusive (emotionally) and I was very scared. After that...I didn't really know if I would get pregnant again. I was getting older and scared my fertility was declining. I met my current BF (who truly is wonderful) and i figured it is now or never. I will be 35 when my baby is born. We ended up getting pregnant immediately. This personally took me by surprise. I don't want to feel bad about this baby. I have waited my turn at this...I am just not interested in anyone's criticisms. This is my only baby...i wish people would just shut the H*ll up. (Sorry...i get upset when I think about people's righteous attitudes).

 

[DeeM73]

Thanks I am 8 weeks tomorrow.So sorry to hear what you went through and don't feel horrible about it,you did what was right for you.I fell pregnant in May although I had an early miscarriage.It came as a complete shock that I fell pregnant so quick and my first thought was I can't go through with this thinking of the family issues.Within a week I miscarried and felt so bad thinking it was my fault I had lost it with my negative thoughts but I knew unfortunately it was just one of these things.After much talk we said we would give it another go and here we are!I feel a lot better this time but still worry which is sad.I don't want to feel bad about this baby either cos we have been given a second chance and I just hope it all works out x

 

[whispernikki]

hi dee....i am in a very simular situation...im 37 with 3 children, my partner is 51 and he has 3 older children, im too worried how his children will react...my partner thinks they will love it, im very worried about telling my mum i think she will go mental...but the way i see it she dont help anyway so why should she moan, im sure it will all go well.....would be good to hear how it all goes! best of luck nikki x

 

[DeeM73]

Hi Nikki,great to hear from you It's hard not to worry what they will think,I remember before I fell pregnant that I couldn't care less what anyone thought but now we are here I'm dreading it!I honestly can't see his children being happy at all but at the end of day it's nothing to do with them guess you can't please everyone!How far on are you?I'm 8 weeks but not saying anything until after the scan and ave decided will get all the tests one too.Hope all goes well for you too,keep in touch xx