anyone on their second pregnancy and feeling crappier this time around?

[dinky]

I had to have a episiotomy with my first and a forceps delivery, with my 2nd I tore naturally but in a different time place to where the scar tissue was from the first time. I am scared I will tear again and the stitches after scare me more than the labour and birth! It was so much more painful being stitched up I'm sure they don't numb you properly

 

[BunNtheOven]

I'm definitely worse this time around versus my first.

And I'm terrified of another c-section but I'm scared of doing it the vaginal after a c-section. My neighbor's friend just died yesterday after the doctor was not being able to control the bleeding after having a emergency c-section (the baby was fine though)... and it's at the hospital I'll be going to......