anyone really want a baby??

[brewanneanan]

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[AppleBlossom]

How old are you hun? I know having a baby seems like a lovely idea but if you aren't financially stable I think you should wait until you are. Babies are expensive and not just for a few weeks. I don't doubt that you would make great parents and money isn't everything, a baby needs love and care but I would personally wait x

 

[brewanneanan]

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[AppleBlossom]

Although I'm only 19, I personally think that 17 is still young. You haven't had enough experience yourself. At 17 I wanted a baby but then I sat and thought about it and realised I wanted my freedom more. Maybe that sounds selfish but you should enjoy your freedom while you can, a baby is a huge responsibility. If you do decide to have one though, good luck x

 

[armychicmkm]

Hi

There have been lots of girls on here your age talking about TTC. It's generally discouraged partly for the reasons you mentioned (finances and stability) but also because you will lose the ability to do many of the things your friends do.

I think it's pretty common for girls to start wanting babies about 16-17 or so. Your body is done or mostly done developing so your body thinks it's ready and starts speaking up. My "biological clock" started speaking up not much later and it can be really really hard to ignore.

Some things to think about.... Are you and your boyfriend done with high school yet? Do you either or both of you have steady jobs? Do either of you want to go through college? start a career? A baby will make all of those things much much harder.

 

[brewanneanan]

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[brewanneanan]

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[polo_princess]

Personally i think you should concentrate on college and going to uni then look at having a baby. Once youve done that and are all qualified you'll have something you can always fall back on.

Being able to give a baby all the love in the world is one thing but if you cant afford to look after it financially then your going to end up in trouble.

Good luck whatever you decide to do

 

[missjacey44]

I went through a stage for about 2years when i was 15 and there was nothing more i wanted in the world but to have my own little baby and i did have unprotected sex with my bf at the time but luckily enough i never actually fell pregnant and im glad i didnt because looking back now it probably would have been the stupidest thing id ever done! Then when i was about 17 i changed my mind and the last thing i wanted was a baby! Personally i would wait because like me.. u could change your mind and decide waiting is the better option! If u really dont want to wait till your much older.. id still suggest u get some kind of fulltime job that u can go back to once uv had your baby when ur abit older and it will make all the difference knowing u can support yourself and your baby without having to ask for help from parents/benefits ect.

 

[armychicmkm]

When my husband and I decided to start trying stupid me didn't think being pregnant would interfere with college at all. I was completely unprepared for how completely tired I got. It made keeping up a nightmare.

Personally, I'd make sure both of you are bringing in enough money to support a baby first, save up a little for a few months, then look at TTC.

 

[brewanneanan]

i've gone through the stage of not wanting one, for a year while i was 16 i was just like seriously how could i be so stupid and want one, and then i think about my future and i'm just like well, my jobs gonna be work from home, my boyfriend will probably work away but hell still be there and it's just theres nothing preventig it. i understand what everyone means....but what if an accident was to happen, i'd still be in the same place as i am now, and atm i am trying to get a part time job to fit around my college just as a receptionist.

 

[armychicmkm]

It really does sound like you're looking at this from all sides.

Have you discussed this your boyfriend yet?

 

[brewanneanan]

haha yeah, thats were my main problem lies....he's worried what his mum will say haha

 

[leeanne]

Love and affection are the biggest part of bringing up a baby.

However, I will let you know a bit about how I grew up.

My mom taught me morals and guided me in the right direction, and for that I will always be thankful for.

But, my mom brought me up in a single parent household, and was on social assistance and then disability. It was very, very tough financially. As a result, I did not have the nice clothes (to which I was bugged about for many years throughout school), I could not take extra-curricular activities, go to movies on a Friday/Saturday night, etc. I missed out on all these things. Again, because of this, I was bugged from classmates as well.

Also, as a child I grew up fast as I started to worry about finances...the stress was brought on me.

So, yes, you can love and care for a child, bring them up properly, but don't you want the best for your child? Don't you want to have them experience their childhood to the best that you can?

You may really, really want a child and may in fact be mature enough, but financially, I don't think it's feasible.

You have to think too. Why do many relationships fail? Many times it has to do with financial matters. Add a baby to the mixture and the stress is much harder to deal with.

 

[brewanneanan]

well it's not only that, he does want one, but i guess hes a little bit more intellegent than me and wants to wait a little bit longer, which is fair enough. i can see where hes coming from,

 

[armychicmkm]

Yeah I can see him being worried about his mom... I don't think that's necessarily age related though! My husband was nervous to tell his and I was scared to death!

Have you considered housing and all of the lovely expenses that go with that?

 

[brewanneanan]

leeanne, you have made a really good point, i know what you mean, i was bullied loads as a child, (well still kinda am) i think this maybe why i am so desperate for a baby, i feel like i should give the child all that i never had as a child although i had a great childhood from my parents even though my dad, well i cant stand him, i mean i had a great releationship with my mum and still do i just feel that i know how to do better for the child than my mum did for me....although i probably don't

 

[ella170]

i would really advise you to finish college and get your job sorted out first..that way you have it out the way and dont have a baby stopping you from doing anything. sometimes relationships break down because of the strain that pregnancy can put on a relationship. think about whether your relationship really is strong enough- use your head and not your heart..i'm not saying your wrong, but you really need to think seriously whether you do actually really want this, especially as you said your bf wouldnt be too pleased with the idea of you getting pregnant! good luck with your choice, hope it goes well x

 

[brewanneanan]

Yeah I can see him being worried about his mom... I don't think that's necessarily age related though! My husband was nervous to tell his and I was scared to death!

Have you considered housing and all of the lovely expenses that go with that?

haha well, for like a year i've been looking up housing and private renting, as we obviously wouldnt want to end up on a council estate as its not the kind of enviroment i would like to bring a child up on...no offence to those who do, but im sure you will still understand what i mean. and yeah we have thought about it, we want to stay at home while the baby is young and we get a bit more sorted and then move out into a 2 bedroom flat, with essentials, probably wont have a house phone, asi know what i'd be like with that lol, and we all have mobiles

 

[leeanne]

i would really advise you to finish college and get your job sorted out first..that way you have it out the way and dont have a baby stopping you from doing anything. sometimes relationships break down because of the strain that pregnancy can put on a relationship. think about whether your relationship really is strong enough- use your head and not your heart..i'm not saying your wrong, but you really need to think seriously whether you do actually really want this, especially as you said your bf wouldnt be too pleased with the idea of you getting pregnant! good luck with your choice, hope it goes well x

I agree. There are women in their 20's and 30's having babies or have had babies and if you read around the forum, there are a number of women going through relationship issues. These women planned a child with their partner, and now the partner wants out or is going through some sort of depression.

Take a look in the single mom's forum. It's not easy on these gals!