anyone really want a baby??

i would really advise you to finish college and get your job sorted out first..that way you have it out the way and dont have a baby stopping you from doing anything. sometimes relationships break down because of the strain that pregnancy can put on a relationship. think about whether your relationship really is strong enough- use your head and not your heart..i'm not saying your wrong, but you really need to think seriously whether you do actually really want this, especially as you said your bf wouldnt be too pleased with the idea of you getting pregnant! good luck with your choice, hope it goes well x

yeah i understand what you mean i think i will complete college first or atleast do half of it before actually TTC and obviously getting a job as i have been for like 3 years and only just found my NI number haha but yeah im hoping everything will go fine, and yeah my bf, i dunno how hed react, happy but scared i think.
 
I don't really know what council estates are but if it's anything like our Section 8/welfare housing then I can understand not wanting to use it. When you say live at home - do you mean with yours or his parents?
 
yeah i mean my parents, a council estate is like housing paid for by goverment, but some of the familys and children, are not what i would like my children to be associated with.
 
but what if an accident was to happen, i'd still be in the same place as i am now

that's very true- im 17 and pregnant and even though it was an accident, my position would be no different to a 17 yr old who is pregnant and planned their baby. it's a very complicated topic, but when you look at it from that angle, i guess there really is a good point you made there
 
ok same thing and yeah there are a lot of people in programs like that that I wouldn't want to be associated with. On this side of the pond social programs don't seem to go to those who truly need only those that abuse it (sorry for stereotyping).

I would STRONGLY urge you to have your own place before TTC. I think everybody here will say about the same thing. It is one thing to accidentally become pregnant and need your parents to help. It is completely another to get pregnant on purpose and expect them to help you through.
 
well it's not only that, he does want one, but i guess hes a little bit more intellegent than me and wants to wait a little bit longer, which is fair enough. i can see where hes coming from,

Yes when you're merely looking at the picture it seems like it won't be as difficult as when you're living the picture. A baby puts alot of stress on each parent - because believe it or not both of you will have different ideas on how to raise this child, how to save up money etc. When you're young you're still on a path trying to figure yourself out - what you want, who you are. You will be a completely different person in 5 years time and so will he, your morals and values will change your wants and needs will change. I'm 15, I know this, it looks easier than it actually is.
You want your child to be able to have nice clothes, a good stable house over his/her head, nice things to play with, and you want to finish university too.
Maybe wait awhile.
 
yeah i agree, i would like my own flat either renting or getting a mortgage but my mum would rather see me with her than out on the street, my friend is 9 months pregnant and was due last saturday, she and her bf live in a flat together but tbh, i think it would be better if she was to live with her mum, but lol
 
Okay let me let you in on a little hint. If you think you can honestly go to university and be pregnant at the same time, think AGAIN. I was a stellar student, I'm 6 courses away from finishing my Sociology degree...and I'm FAILING my courses I'm doing right now. It is exhausting and nearly impossible to keep up.

I was in a stable, happy relationship with someone who wanted a baby(or so he thought), and when I did actually get pregnant (by accident, I didn't agree to trying) he decided to tell me to get rid of it. We were living together, he had a good paying job, and I was almost done school.

Well, to make a long story short I am now living living with my parents, had to pack up my life and leave everything behind, and have no money and a baby's daddy who doesn't want anything to do with the kid, financially or otherwise.

I'm not saying this will happen to you, but it is SO difficult. Things change when you get pregnant, whether you expect them to or not.

You're 17, I'm almost 21. Please, please, pleaseee think this through. Don't cause yourself more stress than you need to right now, being 17 years old is stressful enough.
 
i really like this chat, there are alot of people here who are not the kinda of people i'd expect to be having children you all sem to be very intelegent with your heads on your shoulders. there are 11 people from my year at school who have all left and had children, and even before they had kids there still would have been no hope for them to get anyay in future life. everyone in here seems intelegent and could get somewhere in future even with a child.
 
yeah i agree, i would like my own flat either renting or getting a mortgage but my mum would rather see me with her than out on the street, my friend is 9 months pregnant and was due last saturday, she and her bf live in a flat together but tbh, i think it would be better if she was to live with her mum, but lol

And sometimes things do happen where you need to move in with your parents or where it would really be a better option. I just don't think your parents should automatically be expected to help you with your baby.
 
i really like this chat, there are alot of people here who are not the kinda of people i'd expect to be having children you all sem to be very intelegent with your heads on your shoulders. there are 11 people from my year at school who have all left and had children, and even before they had kids there still would have been no hope for them to get anyay in future life. everyone in here seems intelegent and could get somewhere in future even with a child.

Yeah this is far and away one of the better forums out there. There are other good forums but they don't seem to have as diverse of a group of people and the people aren't nearly as open-minded.
 
just to give you a general idea how much a baby costs i will tell you that my OH gets £1000 a month i get about £300-£400 a month we live at his parents house so we dont pay bills or any thing and we are both broke within 1 week of getting our wages thats from just buyin essentials for baby
so as u can see babies are very expensive hun
 
just to give you a general idea how much a baby costs i will tell you that my OH gets £1000 a month i get about £300-£400

lol this is exactly what my friends on well one of them, and they ae private renting at £700 a month, it's ridiculous. shes my age i think maybe younger i don't know how seh can pay for it all.
 
Expensive? Babies?

I feel so stupid and silly and naive sometimes. I though I knew how much everything would cost. Boy was I wrong! I don't think I had an accurate price in my head for a single thing!
 
My OH brings in around 250pound a week often more (I'm not getting anything now as I'm on maternity leave) and we're broke too. Hopefully I'll be entitled to maternity allowance and a surestart grant. It's such an expensive thing. Nappies, clothes, furniture, prams. Obviously your families will help out a bit but you can't rely on them to get you everything
 
does your work not pay you on maternity leave?? and your partner isnt bringing in much he should ask his job for a pay rise :) and i thought youd get some kind of benefit when on maternit leave/....do you not?
 
lol this is exactly what my friends on well one of them, and they ae private renting at £700 a month, it's ridiculous. shes my age i think maybe younger i don't know how seh can pay for it all.

It's a nightmare a complete and udder nightmare. And it doesn't matter how old you are or how secure you think your job is. The second you find yourself pregnant anything you might have had extra is now completely gone. Sorry not trying to be a total downer here. :)
 
The other thing to consider is that the baby gets older, and as they get older, they cost more to bring up. They eat more, grow out of their clothes quicker, preschool costs, elementary school costs including field trips, etc.

Truthfully, honey, you have many, many fertile years ahead of you. Get your career on track or education and then decide.

Best wishes! :hug:
 
haha nah it's fine, i understand, believe me, i dont ever spend my money anyway, apart from the odd clothes shop, which i honestly think i wouldnt need anymore clothes haha, but really i never go out or drink, im probably the least social out of everyone i know, i still have close friedns i just tend not to do what they do, i guess its different when yu have a partner and start to settle down.
 
this money problem comes up alot hahah, i will make sure were financially ready to TTC. although thats not gonna stop me wanting one lol.
 

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