anyone testing 9th april??

[thisisme]

hello everyone!! hope we're all feeling well..
I havent been on here in a couple of days..benn busy have an avon party to demonstrate tonight

well still no AF here and i havent doena test in a few days as i dont 'feel' pg now lol no nausea, bbs a little sore, no weeing lots, no funny taste nothing nada lol
they just seem to have stopped, i do have some more IC just in case but im not desperate to be peeing on them.

i had a really awful dream yesterday and its made me a bit cautious about getting a lol i hope anyone else who is still waiting is holding out ok

for all xx

 

[Lou229]

Well ladies, as they say in Dragon's Den "I'm out" lol. flew in today while I was at work - GUTTED! Never mind though, at least I can move on to next month and don't have to wait anymore cos that's the worst luck!

Good luck to thisisme, your still in with a chance!

 

[EpdTTC]

Bad news I'm afraid. I don't even know what to say. I am sick with sadness.

The good news, if you can call it that at this point is that my hcg went up to 175-it more than doubled every 48 hours since Sunday. I was so focused on hcg that I didn't even worry about anything else. Sadly, as it turns out my progesterone dropped from 13 on Sunday to only 3 today. Considering the fact that I am already (and have been since ovulation) on progesterone suppositories-this is extremely low and carries with it a very poor prognosis. My doctor said I will more than likely miscarry. He said I can stay on the progesterone and have my levels rechecked on Sunday and then probably one day next week, but that I should not get my hopes up and that most of the time a pregnancy with a progesterone level under 10 ends in miscarriage.

I don't know why this is happening to me again. My Dr said that assuming this ends in a loss, that I will have had two losses with my donor and may want to consider having genetic testing done on him. Perhaps it is something with his sperm or the combination of the two of us together. Seeing as though my insurance will not cover thousands of dollars worth of genetic tests for my donor, that is probably not going to happen. I don't know what I will do. I don't want to keep using the same donor if it is only going to result in repeated miscarriages but I can't afford genetic testing. I hate to find a new donor because my donor is damn near perfect. I could switch donors and still end up in the same boat again. I fear that all of my eggs are bad or that there is something wrong and I will never be able to carry a baby to term. BTW-my doctor said that the reason for my low progesterone this pregnancy is NOT because of a progesterone problem but rather because the pregnancy is not viable (in other words the embryo likely has something wrong with it) and as a result it is not sending the proper message to my corpus luteum to make progesterone. I guess it's like my body knows something is wrong so it is not creating the progesterone to support a pregnancy that I guess should not be supported. I don't know. I won't pretend I understand anything at this point but I will say that I am feeling very hopeless right now. Only a miracle will save my little bean-which is really sad to me, especially with the increasing levels of hcg-it's like I feel like he/she is trying to hang on in there. It also sucks because I have pregnancy symptoms-very tired, thirsty, queasy, and have heartburn. I don't know if things will happen quickly or if hcg will continue to rise for a while. Dr said that another possibility is that it is ectopic. Ugh. I guess I will likely know more by this time next week, but as of now, it looks like I am waiting to miscarry.
Horribly broken hearted,
Erin

 

[thisisme]

awwww erin im so sorry...I cant imagine what you must be going through. i could say all the things like 'it could still turn out ok' but im guessing thats not what you need to here.
sometimes life can be so cruel, my thoughts are with you and im here if you just need to rant to someone who isnt involved
take care of yourself xx

 

[thisisme]

lou sorry to see the got you
i think im just on a long cycle again and that there is no bean this time i have some more tests to do and i will do one soon lol just for peace of mind

I'm having a really down day today..its not TTC related either lol.
I was supposed to be getting married today...everything was booked we just had to pay everything off but then i lost my job and we had to cancel i have a wedding dress sitting in the shop still waiting to be paid for and to make it even worse the weather is absolutly beautiful and it wouldve been the perfect day for a wedding. its been getting me down for the last week as the day has been approaching, doesnt help i had a supplier call me to confirm the details even tho i cancelled 6 months ago sorry to wallow in self pity and i know it isnt the end of the world and people are facing worse things but i still cant help feeling a little down about it

 

[Nessicle]

Epd I'm so so sorry to read what you're going through I can't imagine how helpless and worried you must feel, I hope you do get a miracle and beanie pulls through for you and everything 'corrects' xxx

thisisme - sorry you're feeling down honey it must be very tough to have lost your job and have all your plans fall through xx

 

[thisisme]

i got another again lol

 

[EpdTTC]

Sorry AF found you Lou. I know how bad that feels. On to the next cycle...

Thisisme, hang in there. My tests were still looking negative at 14dpo and still looked super faint on cheapie dollar store tests up until 16dpo.

Quick update...started having some cramping early this morning...some brownish spotting (looks like old gunk and some thick egg white cervical mucus) so I called my doc and he wanted me to come in. Did an ultrasound-too early to see anything. Took blood. My hcg went up from 175 yesterday to 252 today. Progesterone was 4. He still thinks I am going to miscarry and said I could stop taking the progesterone suppositories. I feel bad stopping them...I know I will likely still miscarry, I don't think I am disillusioned or anything but the hcg is doubling like it should and I feel like my little bean is holding on for dear life. I have to have my levels checked again on Tuesday to see if they are going down yet or still going up. Ectopic is still a possibility too I suppose. It is really hard to be pregnant and feel more pregnancy symptoms as hcg goes up and know that it is just a matter of time before I miscarry. It is so hard to get my work done right now. Just wanted to share. I welcome any thoughts...thanks for all of your support and for listening.

 

[thisisme]

hello erin.
my thoughts are with you. it must be really hard and from what i can see you have a donor so does that mean you are alone or not? im not trying to pry, just hoping you are getting the support there that you need, you shouldnt have to be dealing with this alon
your little bean seems to be hanging on for its dear little life...can you not continue the suppositories or do you have to stop them, surely if there is any chance that they could be helping..your level has gone up hasnt it? have you thought about seeing another doctor?
sorry that is all probably very unhelpful but i can see you dont want to just give up and i dont blame you. just remember that no matter what happens it isnt your fault youve done what you can

take care xx

 

[Lou229]

Good morning ladies,

Erin I am so sorry to hear what you've been going through. I know there is nothing I can say to make this time any easier for you but always remember that we are all here for you. I still think there must be a small chance it could be ok if your Hcg is still doubling. I'll keep everything crossed that your little bean is strong enough to hold on!

Thisisme I am sorry you are so down in the dumps. Just remember what we talked about last week. About your dad and about things happening for a reason. I sincerely believe that you were not supposed to get married that day and that when it does happen something will change with your plans to make it even more special than it would have been! I couldn't tell you on here all the things that wouldn't have been if we had got married the year before like our original plan. Things just seemed to fall into place to make it even more perfect than I could have imagined! Be strong and you never know, maybe you'll have a new little flower girl or page boy when you do get married?

 

[thisisme]

well ANOTHER i am not holding out much hope now i am 24 DPO if i OV'd when i think i did. I just wish id never got that silly spotting as i think i wouldve excepted the fact a long time ago that i am just ona long cycle

well we are coming up to when i should potentially OV if it is a 60 day cycle like last time.
I have been getting quite a bit of sticky, stretchy, lotiony CM yesterday there was quite a bit.
we did last night, that was definatly baby making stuff...just a shame its a bit early lol.
well i feel better today than yesterday because of the whole wedding thing...it made me realise just how much i love OH and really cant wait to marry him. we spent a lovely day with the boys in the garden, done some gardening and just enjoyed being together. i think thats why the was so good, there was no thought of baby making (well not like normal in my head i was like oh wouldnt it be nice to get PG today as then something nice wouldve come out of the cancelled wedding lol) it was just us being together

sorry for the ramble, i just feel so much better about things!

 

[Nessicle]

glad you feel a bit better today thisisme! It's good to have the up days as they keep you going

epd - i would carry on with the progesterone suppositries just in case, sounds like beanie is implanted and is producing hcg - doctors can be wrong and sometimes they're so "medical" they forget that you want this baby and you still need some hope to hang on to so if it's what you want to do then carry on with them - stuff what the doctor says xx

 

[EpdTTC]

You girls are so sweet. Thanks for your support. Thisisme, I do have a significant other but unfortunately we live two hours apart. That will change next month as I am moving to the same town. I'm very sorry to hear about your rough day yesterday. You certainly have every right to be sad. Don't compare your stuff to anyone else's stuff. We all have a right to our feelings and I would be sad too if I were you. I hope you find yourself feeling better as the day has past and you have hopefully had a chance to reflect on your future wedding date.

Starting to spot and cramp more...I think it is starting to happen

I'll keep you posted.

 

[Isi Buttercup]

Oh Erin!! I'm so sorry to read about what you are going through. Let's still keep hoping and praying for a miracle!! I pray your baby proves medecine wrong!

Thisisme.....I do feel your pain. But just be assured that when the time is right, you will have the most perfect wedding, and the weather will be even better than it was this past weekend!! I wish you luck with the as well.

So sorry about the Lou! But we're gonna show her this cycle, aren't we?! to you, hun.

As for me, given up symptom spotting and just going to wait and see what happens this week, i.e. whether or not shows up. If she doesn't, I'll go to the hospital and have my Doctor do the test. I don't have the courage to do a home one.

Have a beautiful week ladies!

 

[thisisme]

hi erin, thank you for your kind words. im glad you have someone there to support you, its hard being away from the one you love, i lived 300 miles from my OH when we first got together it was 8 months before we could move together!
how are you feeling today? i know its a silly question take care of yourself xx

I still have no AF lol im in 2 minds to go the docs or not, i have had long cycles in the past so im guessing this is no different, guess just need more and see what happens.
hope everyone else is ok!
good luck on that BFP isi
how are you doing today lou? hope you arent too down about the at least you can have some more fun trying
bright side and all that

take care ladies xx

 

[EpdTTC]

Hey...my Dr's office just called...my number went down from 252 on Saturday to 215 today. It's happening.

 

[Isi Buttercup]

I'm so sorry Erin.....so very sorry

 

[Lou229]

I'm doing ok today. Not dwelling on getting as I have 2 job interviews this week and I'm wondering if maybe this is the way forward. If I get one of them, I'm going to ease up on ttc until I get settled in my job. Both jobs will be slightly less stressful so it might give us more chance of conceiving. I also think I'd be happier in my job which will help too.

Erin, I'm so sorry to hear your Hcg levels are dropping! Life can be so horrible but maybe it will all work out. Maybe once you are closer to you significant other your body will become more settled? Plus when you are are closer to each other they can support through the ups and downs of ttc and being PG. I really do hope you get you baby, you deserve it after all you have been through these past months! I will pray for you x

Thisisme, you sound like you have come to terms with having a long cycle again. In fact maybe this will be the best time to conceive as you're not expecting it and so maybe you're more relaxed. Got everything crossed for you!

 

[EpdTTC]

Thanks Lou and Buttercup.

Lou-congrats on the job interviews! Good luck, I will be thinking of you. I echo your sentiments that maybe it is the way forward. I am hoping the same thing for me with my move. Maybe some things have to fall into place before other things. Keep us posted on the job!

 

[thisisme]

hi ladies

Lou - congrats on the job interviews...maybe concentrating on them will help you conceive...less stress and all that

Erin - how are you doing today? hope youre ok and if you need a rant feel free to rant to me! my thoughts are with you x

Buttercup - hows the waiting going? any sign of AF yet?... how many DPO are you?
hope youre holding out ok.

well for me...still no and no symptoms so im guessing no bean lol...ive even given up doing tests. ive been real busy organising my avon parties and things so its helping to keep my mind off things...plus i have my holiday soon

and FX'd for you all.