Are social networking sites ruining our relationships & society as a whole?

[sjwebb]

technology is NOT to blame, just as the "whore" is NOT to blame the CHEATER is the only person responsible for thier actions. Before technology people cheated at the office or with neighbors etc. The upside of technology is that it is 100% easier to catch the offender. LOL. Men in general arent the smartest creatures, and their cell phones provide a window to the soul. My OH thinks that his cell phone is "locked"... what an idiot, I have seen him unlock the phone so many times i can enter the code in my sleep. I am not saying that it is right but sometimes i go thru it look at texts, frequent calls and pics. We usually have proof of infidelity! Women in previous generations usually had to go on "gut feelings"

I go through my husbands phone and emails all the time. Haha. I figure that if hes cheating on me or doing something hes not supposed to then I'd rather figure it out now then get strung along like a little puppy. I'm not okay with looking stupid. The quicker I can find out the quicker I can kick him to the curb So far mines all clean haha

 

[bumpbear]

This may sound harsh, but my two very blunt cents:

1. people who use social networking sites/ technology as a way of facilitating affairs etc are of low moral character anyway. You cant blame media for their failings when they had no integrity to begin with. There are plenty of people who stay loyal and faithful to their partners despite being avid facbook/twitter/mobile phone users.

2. people who use social networking sites to expose every little detail of their relationship to all and sundry have poor manners and etiquette or quick tempers and probably dont know how to behave properly in face to face public relationships either. You cant get away from these people anywhere - its just more obviously documented online.

I hope I haven't offended too many people with these sweeping generalisations, but it kind of sums up what i think.

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

Social networking simply provides the means, but it doesn't, in my opinion, create or exacerbate the problem.

exactly.

 

[painted_pony]

technology is NOT to blame, just as the "whore" is NOT to blame the CHEATER is the only person responsible for thier actions. Before technology people cheated at the office or with neighbors etc. The upside of technology is that it is 100% easier to catch the offender. LOL. Men in general arent the smartest creatures, and their cell phones provide a window to the soul. My OH thinks that his cell phone is "locked"... what an idiot, I have seen him unlock the phone so many times i can enter the code in my sleep. I am not saying that it is right but sometimes i go thru it look at texts, frequent calls and pics. We usually have proof of infidelity! Women in previous generations usually had to go on "gut feelings"

I go through my husbands phone and emails all the time. Haha. I figure that if hes cheating on me or doing something hes not supposed to then I'd rather figure it out now then get strung along like a little puppy. I'm not okay with looking stupid. The quicker I can find out the quicker I can kick him to the curb So far mines all clean haha

Now I don't feel so guilty. I spy as well. I never used to before my husband deployed since we literally spent every single moment together besides his 9-10 hours of work per day. It didnt matter if he was going to the doctor or we have to go to the parts store, we were LITERALLY always together. Plus he never hovered over his cell or computer like cheaters always do.

Plus I've realized this. WHY AREN'T MEN SMART ENOUGH TO DELETE THAT SHIT IF THEY ARE GUILTY? lol, I would never never cheat in a million years, but logically u would think of deleting it before you got busted.

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

I persoally think a women that DOES NOT admit to doing a tiny bit of snooping is either a liar, in major denial, just doesnt care or is married to the pope (and we all know thats not true). I dont think that ALL men cheat but I wouldnt put it past any of them.

 

[megrenade]

I persoally think a women that DOES NOT admit to doing a tiny bit of snooping is either a liar, in major denial, just doesnt care or is married to the pope (and we all know thats not true). I dont think that ALL men cheat but I wouldnt put it past any of them.

I don't snoop.. I did when I was 16 and insecure; but since my first love broke my heart, I just don't give a shit anymore. If I find out a guy is cheating, or has screwed up.. then that's his loss because I'm a beautiful, intelligent young woman (not to be conceited) and I can do better.

 

[sjwebb]

Exactly. Everyone is capable of cheating. Thats why we gotta snoop My husband goes through my phone all the time, sometimes when I'm sitting there haha. I'm just like what are you doing, and he says "looking" and I don't think he understand how hard it would be for me to cheat on him with a 2.5 year old running around. Haha. I mean if it makes him feel better he can look all he wants.

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

Plus I've realized this. WHY AREN'T MEN SMART ENOUGH TO DELETE THAT SHIT IF THEY ARE GUILTY? lol, I would never never cheat in a million years, but logically u would think of deleting it before you got busted.

because they are not that bright lol. As a nurse I know surgeons (very smart men) who got caught cheating from cell phone records. I also think men just assume "we trust them" or wont look into it.
The one time that I was cheated on I noticed him often accusing me of cheating... HUGE RED FLAG. Some men get caught by simply not logging out of the social networking page lol. seriously....

 

[megrenade]

Exactly. Everyone is capable of cheating. Thats why we gotta snoop My husband goes through my phone all the time, sometimes when I'm sitting there haha. I'm just like what are you doing, and he says "looking" and I don't think he understand how hard it would be for me to cheat on him with a 2.5 year old running around. Haha. I mean if it makes him feel better he can look all he wants.

but what is love, without trust?

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

I persoally think a women that DOES NOT admit to doing a tiny bit of snooping is either a liar, in major denial, just doesnt care or is married to the pope (and we all know thats not true). I dont think that ALL men cheat but I wouldnt put it past any of them.

I don't snoop.. I did when I was 16 and insecure; but since my first love broke my heart, I just don't give a shit anymore. If I find out a guy is cheating, or has screwed up.. then that's his loss because I'm a beautiful, intelligent young woman (not to be conceited).

you fall in the "just dont care" catagory. as you said it would be his loss. I respect that.

 

[painted_pony]

Exactly. Everyone is capable of cheating. Thats why we gotta snoop My husband goes through my phone all the time, sometimes when I'm sitting there haha. I'm just like what are you doing, and he says "looking" and I don't think he understand how hard it would be for me to cheat on him with a 2.5 year old running around. Haha. I mean if it makes him feel better he can look all he wants.

but what is love, without trust?

This I cannot answer. I've loved two men in the past before my husband, and they both met the world to me. The first decided to start beating me on a regular basis and the second ran away with this horrible cave looking woman who wasn't even a good person.he claims its because I wouldn't have sex with him anymore. Well maybe if he woukd have took a shower than things wouldnt have ended up that way. whatever, i have my husband now and we are trying our best to get through the bad patches together.

 

[sjwebb]

Exactly. Everyone is capable of cheating. Thats why we gotta snoop My husband goes through my phone all the time, sometimes when I'm sitting there haha. I'm just like what are you doing, and he says "looking" and I don't think he understand how hard it would be for me to cheat on him with a 2.5 year old running around. Haha. I mean if it makes him feel better he can look all he wants.

but what is love, without trust?

Like I said, I'm not going to be strung along for the ride if my husband decides that he wants to go out and screw other women. I've never seen a man come home and tell him wife flat out that he wants a divorce (not saying that its never happened, just I've never seen it) because hes been having an affair. Most of the time women find out that their spouse has been unfaithful. I REFUSE to be the type of woman that sits in denial because she "trusts" her husband. I'm sure every woman thats been cheated on "trusted" their husband only to be slapped in the face by infidelity. Just my opinion

 

[painted_pony]

Exactly. Everyone is capable of cheating. Thats why we gotta snoop My husband goes through my phone all the time, sometimes when I'm sitting there haha. I'm just like what are you doing, and he says "looking" and I don't think he understand how hard it would be for me to cheat on him with a 2.5 year old running around. Haha. I mean if it makes him feel better he can look all he wants.

but what is love, without trust?

Like I said, I'm not going to be strung along for the ride if my husband decides that he wants to go out and screw other women. I've never seen a man come home and tell him wife flat out that he wants a divorce (not saying that its never happened, just I've never seen it) because hes been having an affair. Most of the time women find out that their spouse has been unfaithful. I REFUSE to be the type of woman that sits in denial because she "trusts" her husband. I'm sure every woman thats been cheated on "trusted" their husband only to be slapped in the face by infidelity. Just my opinion

Can I have your phone number so you can talk this into my husband? Lol,jk. U say it better than me, and I've been trying to explain this same thing to him for over a year now. He's not getting it, and always offended that I don't trust him entirely.

 

[megrenade]

I'm just saying, maybe we should just stop mistaking love for something it isn't.

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

SJWEBB is right. while i know people that have been cheated on I am yet to meet one whose husband just came out and said "by the way, I'm sleeping with so and so". Usually the offender DENIES the claim and the only way to confirm infidelity is thru some sort of snooping. I WILL NOT BE TAKIN FOR A RIDE.

 

[sjwebb]

Don't get me wrong. I love my husband very much and we have a great marriage and thus far, hes done nothing wrong and has been faithful.

 

[libbylou]

Plus I've realized this. WHY AREN'T MEN SMART ENOUGH TO DELETE THAT SHIT IF THEY ARE GUILTY? lol, I would never never cheat in a million years, but logically u would think of deleting it before you got busted.

because they are not that bright lol. As a nurse I know surgeons (very smart men) who got caught cheating from cell phone records. I also think men just assume "we trust them" or wont look into it.
The one time that I was cheated on I noticed him often accusing me of cheating... HUGE RED FLAG. Some men get caught by simply not logging out of the social networking page lol. seriously....

This is how I caught my ex! I went to use my computer and he'd left his account on a social networking website open to the email page, and I saw a whole pile of very bad emails between him and another girl.
I confronted him about it and he denied, claimed it was all a joke and then accused me of snooping and not trusting him...yet he left it open on my computer to the screen (it's not like I had gone looking) and I had caught him 2 weeks earlier snooping through all my MSN message logs on my computer (not that he found anything because *I* wasn't doing anything wrong!)

I think that if someone has the lack of morals to cheat on their OH, then that's the kind of person they are. Having access to a cell phone, computer, or social networking site isn't going to change that or turn an honest person into a dishonest cheater.
It will however make it easier for them to cheat, because they don't need to slip away from their house for a few hours, they can just log online or pick up a cell phone.

I think that social networking sites can also open up a lot more jealously and suspicion in relationships.
Things tend to get overblown, whether it's a girl getting mad at her OH for being "friends" with a certain girl and causes a huge fight or someone decides to air their dirty laundry for the whole world to see which just causes a whole new mess.

 

[Ems77]

Simple answer: Yes. Complex explanation to follow-

I think social networking sites have a lot to with it. I also think the internet as a whole has made society as a whole (lol) spiral downward. One of my strongest beliefs is that the internet has made it tens of thousands times easier for people who would have not have made the effort before the internet to cheat. I spent a small part of my adult life without the internet (not yet widespread) and ever since it has become prevalent I have had nothing but issues. And what kills me the most is that they think they can get away with it! Really?!?!?! After my separation, 50% of which had to do with the internet, I was very outspoken about what happened to me via the internet and what I absolutely WOULD NOT put up with. And the number of men I dated that did it anyway and then acted shocked when I broke up them point blank, amazed me!! Come on, are you really THAT stupid????

 

[Kristin52]

Nope, I do not think social networking sites are to blame for a failing relationship.
Like others have said, those traits and such were already there before the relationship even began.

I believe that they do however, make it easier, but that's a different story.
..but in all reality, if you stay with someone whose cheated especially using a social site, well then.. enjoy a relationship that will more than likely never consist of any true love or trust, because said cheated will always be a cheater, and will never have any real morals.



Completely getting off track here. But that's my piece.

 

[Akinesia]

Everyone is encouraged to provide their own opinions on this topic, but please dont let it turn into a fight. I've noticed a lot of heartbreak on here (myself included) that has been caused by social networking and the internet is general. Facebook, Twitter, MySpace...you name it, these sites are a breeding ground for emotional affairs to spring up. It's easier to cheat on your loved ones when you new "whore" is just a click away. Before these sites, I think having an emotional or physical affair was more difficult to a certain extent. Your significant other would notice if your schedule was off, leaving the home for extended periods of time, and etc. It seems like most of these sites have just enabled these "losers" even more in the quest to find their next fling. I believe cellphones, social networking and things of that nature have only fueled the already skyrocketing divorce rate and number of kids who come from broken homes. Now, I'm not saying everyone who uses these sites is just looking for their "next piece of ass", I'm simply stating that its making it easier to do the wrong thing. After all dont each of us know at least one person who has been hurt by these so called advances in communication technology?

I wouldn't blame the internet or social networking sites for the problem of cheating itself, however I totally agree that it's basically adding fuel to the flame. The internet won't make someone cheat who would never have cheated, but it can be used as a tool by those who may have been wanting to but were perhaps timid or not sure of where to start. I'd compare it to someone who really really loves chocolate cake and is trying to stop eating it. They haven't had chocolate cake in a month and are doing great. Well, say another person placed a big piece of chocolate cake in front of the dieter, waved it around, and then left the two alone together. There's a good chance that when they reenter the room they'll find the cake is gone. Would the dieter have gone out and bought themself that cake had it not been handed to them? Perhaps, or perhaps without that little event they'd have never been pushed over the edge.

Sounds kinda silly, but the internet is the same thing to someone entertaining thoughts of cheating. It really puts everything--good or bad--right at your fingertips. It takes any effort that might have once been necessary out of the equation. There are probably more passive, lazy, timid men (and women!) with poor self esteem cheating these days. These dating and cheating sites are only a click away from any semi computer literate person who's been thinking about cheating. It only takes a few moments... they can look, check it out, take plenty of time to build up the courage to chat to someone. Heck, I bet the sleaziest of men chat with their online skanks while their wife is sitting in the same room. It's that easy, and it wasn't always that way. I totally get your point. But would it turn someone who is totally committed to their partner into a cheater? Definitely not (I don't care if Brad Pitt himself started flirting with me over the internet, I wouldn't be having any of that). The source of this problem lies within what appear to me to be degrading family and relationship values in large segments of our society.