are you serious?!!!

[Armywife84]

dont get me wrong part of me is happy for her, just wanted to say that first. my
frustration is that just a few months ago she had one ovary and one fallopian tube taken out. this is my supposed to be best friend, thing is she never calls or texts me. so earlier i get a text from her and before i read it i knew what it was going to be about. SHE IS PREGNANT. it just hurts me because its like wow are you kidding me. i just dont understand. i am doing everything i can, money wise, being that i am going to the doctor. i am just frustrated

I completely understand how you are feeling, trust me, and it is completely normal to have those feelings. Me and DH have been ttc for 6 years and so I understand the struggle far too well. I also have a "best friend" who is a lot like the one you have discribed. She has 3 kids and lives off the government. Her husband works, but has a crappy job, they live in a beat up mobile home (I live in a mobile home too, I am not trying to bag on people that live in them) that has black mold, no carpet and they can't ever make their rent.

My friend knows of my struggle, she is bi-polar so she has moments where she does not take my feelings into consideration. Like for instance one time she got into a fight with me and told me that I was just a jealous b**** because I cannot have my own children like she does. That hurt. To this day I have not been able to excuse those words because she knows that me and DH are more than worthy of having children. We have a nice place to live, two nice vehicles, health insurence, good jobs, lots of love to give and we don't have any government help.

She had her tubes tied after she had her youngest because her doctor told her she needed to stop having children because they couldn't even afford the ones they have. Even though she had her tubes tied, she still managed to get pregnant!! Although it turned out to be an eptopic, she still managed to concieve. And boy, was she quick to tell me she was pregnant even though she knew DH and I were going through a hard time.

reading your post made me feel like i was reading something i would have wrote lol. oh i have had way too many people throw it up in my face how they can have kids and i cant. i dont care how mad someone gets at us they should never say words like that. and my so called friend does sound exactly like yours. its just aggravating. like you i too have health insurance that my husbands company takes out $188 a week just so we can have it. and yet we still make it and have more than enough of what we need and want. but when women like us complain about someone else then we are the ones being selfish and just needs to "grow up" and get over it.

some people seem to think just because you havent charted for so many years or obsessively pee'ed on ovulation sticks that you havent really been trying to conceive. im sorry but if you and your spouse dont use anything on the hopes of getting pregnant then yeah you are TTC. i have been with my husband for 5 years and so a few months into us being together we knew we were going to get married and wanted kids so we did nothing to prevent it. we are about to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary on June 29th and just here recently i have started to finally figure out why we havent got pregnant yet. so no matter what others think you and your DH are the ones who know how long you have wanted a child and its not for others to say.

sorry that it seems like i had a little rant there it just came out lol

hugs and baby dust your way

If I could just intrude for one moment.. I just gotta add and agree with you, there is nothing more annoying I find then women who think they can determine other peoples level of TTC. Just because some of us aren't buying OPK's by the truck full and what not doesn't mean we are not trying lol. Thank you for letting me know I'm not the only one who gets annoyed with the TTC'er "elites".

Sorry to intrude myself, but I had the same experience when I first joined this forum in general that I wasn't considered to be TTC because I wasn't temping or using OPK's at the time either, I was told that I was NTNP, so yes I agree that it's annoying.

You don't have to be using OPks or temping to be considered TTC. I gave up that crap after I found out MF...it was just pointless. As long as you're BDing during your ovulation then that IS TTC. The only time a woman wouldn't be is if she was NTNP. In that time, you're not actively TTC.

As long as you've been actively TTC for over a year (35 and over, 6 months) then that is LTTC. I don't understand why anyone would argue about that, none of us want to be here!

 

[hopefull85]

she is just so inconsiderate. we were at our towns fourth of july firework show yesterday and she saw me there and decided to sit with us. the whole time all she could say was i have been so tired and i just dont know why. Really? you dont know why. or baby this and baby that. its like really shut up. and i know i sound like a whiny b*t*h but she just gets under my skin. as we were leaving i said to my husband ha you wont even be able to tell she is pregnant til like the 8th month LOL i know that was harsh but thats just how i feel. my husband said to me after we left the show he said neither one wanted to get up and take their 3 year old to play or watch him and yet they want another one. i was like yeah there is alot of things they do and shouldnt really bring more babies in this world. she told me last night that she wants 4 kids. she can barely afford the one she has now. she told me that she signed up for the same program she was on with her first where she could get free baby items. i just shook my head. go ahead keep having kids when you have to count on getting free stuff from churches.

sorry had to have a little rant there lol

 

[MiasMum]

I completley understand .... my so called best friend who knoew we had been trying for so long had the cheek to tell me she was expecting after 3 long months of trying!!! P**sed me right off to say the least!!
I feel annoyed as this is her 4th. 3 different dads. She doesnt bother with the oldest 2 and was all for the little girl until this new one was born in feb.
Her chap is in and out of prison, neither of them have worked a day in their life, live off the government and now are after a bigger house to accomodate all these kids!

My OH and i both work full time, pay our taxes, have very little spare cash - all our taxes are paying for these people to have children. Makes me so sick!!

 

[hopefull85]

im trying to not get my hopes up for the clomid. but its so hard when its something you have wanted so bad and for so long. i just needed to put that out there. im just pissy with all these damn facebook announcements. I JUST WANT IT TO BE MY TURN!!!!!!

 

[Kimiw]

im trying to not get my hopes up for the clomid. but its so hard when its something you have wanted so bad and for so long. i just needed to put that out there. im just pissy with all these damn facebook announcements. I JUST WANT IT TO BE MY TURN!!!!!!

It is almost hard not to get your hopes up with there is a magical drug that might be the answer to your problem. I know that when I saw those beautiful mature follicles on CD 17 I wanted to cry. I tested the following day and got a BEAUTIFUL positive OPK. And of course this cycle fails..... But you might have better luck hun, I know how hard it is to want something so much and it seems like it is never going to happen. I JUST WANT IT TO MY TURN TOO!! I was upset this morning after I tested and saw another BFN so I decided to take a hot bath to calm my nerves. I spend an hour soaking in the water with tears flowing down my face and couldn't help but wonder "what the %$#@ have I done so wrong in my life to be punished like this?!" It doesn' t make sense. DH was so sad to see me so upset he just wanted to hold me. Those women who think that they had "such a stressful 4 months TTC" need a serious reality check. You want to take about stress? How about timing sex just right cycle after cycle for 6 fecking years and still have no baby to hold?! Sorry...I needed to rant lol.

 

[Kimiw]

she is just so inconsiderate. we were at our towns fourth of july firework show yesterday and she saw me there and decided to sit with us. the whole time all she could say was i have been so tired and i just dont know why. Really? you dont know why. or baby this and baby that. its like really shut up. and i know i sound like a whiny b*t*h but she just gets under my skin. as we were leaving i said to my husband ha you wont even be able to tell she is pregnant til like the 8th month LOL i know that was harsh but thats just how i feel. my husband said to me after we left the show he said neither one wanted to get up and take their 3 year old to play or watch him and yet they want another one. i was like yeah there is alot of things they do and shouldnt really bring more babies in this world. she told me last night that she wants 4 kids. she can barely afford the one she has now. she told me that she signed up for the same program she was on with her first where she could get free baby items. i just shook my head. go ahead keep having kids when you have to count on getting free stuff from churches.

sorry had to have a little rant there lol

OMG you have such self control lol I don't think I could have kept my mouth shut lol! Seriously, she didn't know why she was so tired? REALLY? That sounded like she was trying to rub it in cry me a river lmao. Oh and already planning banking on the free shit? OOOOH I have a friend who lives for that and it drives me crazy. Honestly, I don't think it is right to bring a child into this world if you KNOW you are going to need help for public assistance programs. I am not saying that it is a bad thing, some people really do need it or find out that they ended up needing it, but if you already KNOW you can't provide for your baby than I got two words for you....BIRTH CONTROL. LOL sorry, that was a little rant of my own heheheh

 

[tamithomas]

she is just so inconsiderate. we were at our towns fourth of july firework show yesterday and she saw me there and decided to sit with us. the whole time all she could say was i have been so tired and i just dont know why. Really? you dont know why. or baby this and baby that. its like really shut up. and i know i sound like a whiny b*t*h but she just gets under my skin. as we were leaving i said to my husband ha you wont even be able to tell she is pregnant til like the 8th month LOL i know that was harsh but thats just how i feel. my husband said to me after we left the show he said neither one wanted to get up and take their 3 year old to play or watch him and yet they want another one. i was like yeah there is alot of things they do and shouldnt really bring more babies in this world. she told me last night that she wants 4 kids. she can barely afford the one she has now. she told me that she signed up for the same program she was on with her first where she could get free baby items. i just shook my head. go ahead keep having kids when you have to count on getting free stuff from churches.

sorry had to have a little rant there lol

OMG you have such self control lol I don't think I could have kept my mouth shut lol! Seriously, she didn't know why she was so tired? REALLY? That sounded like she was trying to rub it in cry me a river lmao. Oh and already planning banking on the free shit? OOOOH I have a friend who lives for that and it drives me crazy. Honestly, I don't think it is right to bring a child into this world if you KNOW you are going to need help for public assistance programs. I am not saying that it is a bad thing, some people really do need it or find out that they ended up needing it, but if you already KNOW you can't provide for your baby than I got two words for you....BIRTH CONTROL. LOL sorry, that was a little rant of my own heheheh

Not for nothing, I totally undersatand what you mean by it's bs for those who abuse the system but.. my DH has been on social assistance for 20 somewhat years because no one wants to hire him for reasons I can't get into on a public forum and 3 years for me due to a long list of reasons. I'm a welfare recipient and I'm not ashamed to admit it. But, unlike others.. I only want one lol. I get soo pissed at the fertile women who popped them out like pez dispensers just for the added bonus on the cheque. I guess it's a case by case basis but I get annoyed with the general assumption that welfare/social assistance = birth control.

 

[tamithomas]

But, I do agree though the ones that take advantageo of the system are disgusting, I wanna make that clear. Not saying I agree with it, trust me as soon as I can I'm getting off of it but at the same time if the few of us in the welfare system that are actually trying to get on the right track wait until we are off of the social assistance, it may be too late.

 

[Kimiw]

she is just so inconsiderate. we were at our towns fourth of july firework show yesterday and she saw me there and decided to sit with us. the whole time all she could say was i have been so tired and i just dont know why. Really? you dont know why. or baby this and baby that. its like really shut up. and i know i sound like a whiny b*t*h but she just gets under my skin. as we were leaving i said to my husband ha you wont even be able to tell she is pregnant til like the 8th month LOL i know that was harsh but thats just how i feel. my husband said to me after we left the show he said neither one wanted to get up and take their 3 year old to play or watch him and yet they want another one. i was like yeah there is alot of things they do and shouldnt really bring more babies in this world. she told me last night that she wants 4 kids. she can barely afford the one she has now. she told me that she signed up for the same program she was on with her first where she could get free baby items. i just shook my head. go ahead keep having kids when you have to count on getting free stuff from churches.




sorry had to have a little rant there lol

OMG you have such self control lol I don't think I could have kept my mouth shut lol! Seriously, she didn't know why she was so tired? REALLY? That sounded like she was trying to rub it in cry me a river lmao. Oh and already planning banking on the free shit? OOOOH I have a friend who lives for that and it drives me crazy. Honestly, I don't think it is right to bring a child into this world if you KNOW you are going to need help for public assistance programs. I am not saying that it is a bad thing, some people really do need it or find out that they ended up needing it, but if you already KNOW you can't provide for your baby than I got two words for you....BIRTH CONTROL. LOL sorry, that was a little rant of my own heheheh

Not for nothing, I totally undersatand what you mean by it's bs for those who abuse the system but.. my DH has been on social assistance for 20 somewhat years because no one wants to hire him for reasons I can't get into on a public forum and 3 years for me due to a long list of reasons. I'm a welfare recipient and I'm not ashamed to admit it. But, unlike others.. I only want one lol. I get soo pissed at the fertile women who popped them out like pez dispensers just for the added bonus on the cheque. I guess it's a case by case basis but I get annoyed with the general assumption that welfare/social assistance = birth control.

sorry, I didn't mean everybody on the system are worthless...I am talking about the people who have kids so that they can get free stuff. Or the ones who depend on the system because they are too lazy (like my friend) she ruins every oppurtunity she has had at at a job. People WILL hire here, she just only works for like 2 weeks then quits showing up then she gets pissed when she has a hard time finding work....hmmmm I wonder why! At one point she quit because they reduced her food stamps....common now, that is just taking advantage. I know the system is there for people who need it, and I am fine with that. It's just that my tax money is being used to support people like that, the ones who would rather have things handed to them. I am sorry, I was not trying to sound like all people who are on the system are stupid or worthless, because I know they are not. I just don't like watching her sit there and milk the hell out of it and refuses to work because she doesn't want to lose it. Thats what I meant. And she kept having kids to have the free stuff increased, thats when it gets rediculous.

 

[tamithomas]

she is just so inconsiderate. we were at our towns fourth of july firework show yesterday and she saw me there and decided to sit with us. the whole time all she could say was i have been so tired and i just dont know why. Really? you dont know why. or baby this and baby that. its like really shut up. and i know i sound like a whiny b*t*h but she just gets under my skin. as we were leaving i said to my husband ha you wont even be able to tell she is pregnant til like the 8th month LOL i know that was harsh but thats just how i feel. my husband said to me after we left the show he said neither one wanted to get up and take their 3 year old to play or watch him and yet they want another one. i was like yeah there is alot of things they do and shouldnt really bring more babies in this world. she told me last night that she wants 4 kids. she can barely afford the one she has now. she told me that she signed up for the same program she was on with her first where she could get free baby items. i just shook my head. go ahead keep having kids when you have to count on getting free stuff from churches.




sorry had to have a little rant there lol

OMG you have such self control lol I don't think I could have kept my mouth shut lol! Seriously, she didn't know why she was so tired? REALLY? That sounded like she was trying to rub it in cry me a river lmao. Oh and already planning banking on the free shit? OOOOH I have a friend who lives for that and it drives me crazy. Honestly, I don't think it is right to bring a child into this world if you KNOW you are going to need help for public assistance programs. I am not saying that it is a bad thing, some people really do need it or find out that they ended up needing it, but if you already KNOW you can't provide for your baby than I got two words for you....BIRTH CONTROL. LOL sorry, that was a little rant of my own heheheh

Not for nothing, I totally undersatand what you mean by it's bs for those who abuse the system but.. my DH has been on social assistance for 20 somewhat years because no one wants to hire him for reasons I can't get into on a public forum and 3 years for me due to a long list of reasons. I'm a welfare recipient and I'm not ashamed to admit it. But, unlike others.. I only want one lol. I get soo pissed at the fertile women who popped them out like pez dispensers just for the added bonus on the cheque. I guess it's a case by case basis but I get annoyed with the general assumption that welfare/social assistance = birth control.

sorry, I didn't mean everybody on the system are worthless...I am talking about the people who have kids so that they can get free stuff. Or the ones who depend on the system because they are too lazy (like my friend) she ruins every oppurtunity she has had at at a job. People WILL hire here, she just only works for like 2 weeks then quits showing up then she gets pissed when she has a hard time finding work....hmmmm I wonder why! At one point she quit because they reduced her food stamps....common now, that is just taking advantage. I know the system is there for people who need it, and I am fine with that. It's just that my tax money is being used to support people like that, the ones who would rather have things handed to them. I am sorry, I was not trying to sound like all people who are on the system are stupid or worthless, because I know they are not. I just don't like watching her sit there and milk the hell out of it and refuses to work because she doesn't want to lose it. Thats what I meant. And she kept having kids to have the free stuff increased, thats when it gets rediculous.

Oh boy, those types of welfare recipients i just wanna dunk their heads in the deep fryer lol

 

[Kimiw]

LOL I know right. But it is what it is, you will never be able to change somebody who doesn't want to change. She really does not need more kids, she can't even support the ones she has now.