Arguement

[HAYS]

i feel horrible, me and dh had a big arguement,he had been off with me all day,and on the way home today he let rip at me! he said he doesnt feel wanted by me,i show no affection, i only want sex when im ovulating,and i dont make him feel like my husband???!

I have obviously got so wrapped up in MY own world of TTC and how i feel,and how it affects me, I've just been nasty to him

 

[CurlySue]

This is very normal. I was told this by counsellor. What is important, she said, is to NOT make it all about ovulating, not make it all about having babies, to realise that our husband is there here and now and we love him and we need him and we need to take time outs to take care of our relationship. That we need to NOT make it all about getting pregnant all the time.

It becomes an obsession. It takes over. And, letting it get that way doesn't help. It puts a strain on things. Causes stress. Stress affects fertility. Tis a vicious circle.

It's not being nasty. It's just that you want something so badly that, like all of us, you have let it take over your entire life. We all need to make a conscious effort not to do that.

 

[Puddleduck]

Oh hun , it's horrible when we have arguments especially regarding TTC it's such an emotional subject, I have been there and done that one 'a fed up DH who is only required during ov week'. It is very easy to get wrapped up in the dates/times/temps etc that you forget about your partners feelings. I don't tell DH when I am ovulating anymore and mix it up a bit to be more spontanious...ish. I still know the right time but just don't tell him.

I am sure the other girls here can relate to this one

 

[DaisyDuke]

Don't beat urself up to much babe My dh has said a very similar thing many times, just talk thro with him how he feels, so he knows u have taken what he has said seriously. Then try to slowly make things better for him, we have been there to, and i just have to make a real effort ifykwim? XXX

 

[Farie]

don't beat yourself up babe, we have all done it at one time or another

Talk to him, let him vent and give him a hug. Ask him for his ideas how you can change etc. He'll be fine once you have had a chat.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

o hun iv heard that before to... i hope youv made up now
xxxxxxx

 

[HAYS]

thanks girlies, i need to make a real effort xx

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Hays how about if you can book a weekend away just you two in a nice hotel with no TV and just spend a nice weekend away together.. the time away does wonders.. youd be suprised what the change of scenery does.

 

[HAYS]

We are too skint moneys tight at the mo, holiday booked in Sept so need to save for that. xxx

 

[DaisyDuke]

Ooooo where u going?

 

[HAYS]

Portugal with ants family, 12 of us!!!! xx

 

[hollee]

hi hun
im sorry bout your fight with DH im sure everyone who is ttcing has had a similar one with their oh.
DH & i are really skint at the moment aswell so i did a lovely romantic meal with loads of candles & the telly off it made all the difference.

 

[Trying4ever]

Aww sorry to hear about your argument. That happened with me and OH too.....I had a wake up call and had to change myself too. I realised its just a great thing that he is willing to go through all this with me. I think you should maybe have a chat with him and both of you set up some ground rules about when to bed and when not to? I suppose you've just got to seduce him around ov time and keep him guessing if its time or not?

 

[Farie]

Hey darling

Why dont you make next weekend a weekend for you, a kinda romantic weekend a home?
Get in some pain au chocolat for B'fast, find a nice park for a picnic lunch and rent a movie for the evening? As hollee said, meal and candles?

DF and I do this sometimes if money is tight and we cannot afford to go away.

Or ... could you afford a cheap B&B?

 

[Farie]

Something like this? B&B

Have a Saturday out and about, walk on the beach and stay a Sat night and relaxing Sunday? There seems to be plenty to do in the area? I know its not cheap but if you could afford it you could book it as a surprise?

Only an idea?

 

[JASMAK]

The good news is, you are aware of the issue, and can work towards resolving the problems, but he needs to do his part too, and realize that this is really hard on you. It takes two... Hope tomorrow is a better day.

 

[maz]

We've all been there a time or two haven't we? It's so hard not to make all about the babies, when all you want is to be pregnant. I think there's been some great suggestions made here already. What I did a few years ago - when I write that down it seems all the more scary - was packed up a blanket and made a picnic and told DH I wanted to go for a nice walk. Then I surprised him with the picnic in a country park where we had our first ever picnic. He loved it and realised that he had over reacted a bit.... A picnic somewhere won't cost too much - especially if you make the sarnies yourself...

 

[HAYS]

Something like this? B&B

Have a Saturday out and about, walk on the beach and stay a Sat night and relaxing Sunday? There seems to be plenty to do in the area? I know its not cheap but if you could afford it you could book it as a surprise?

Only an idea?

thanks chick,thats a lovely idea!!! just clicked on the link, rye isnt far from us so might be a plan!! I get a bonus at work the end of this month,so I reckon a weekend away is in need!!!

Thanks girlies
xxx

 

[hayz1981]

Sorry you had a row chick, but at least you know how he's feeling now and can do something about it. Sometimes as horrible as arguments are, they can bring things out in the open and actually help in the long run. You're not nasty at all, you're lovely. It's just hard to not let TTC take over sometimes.

As for the romantic weekend at home idea (picnic etc), plus the cheap BnB just for a night idea, they both sound brilliant!! Let us know what you plan.
Oh yay, I'm gonna get on the internet tonight and have a look for somewhere we can go for a cheap weekend!! I feel inspired now.

xxx

 

[HAYS]

Sorry you had a row chick, but at least you know how he's feeling now and can do something about it. Sometimes as horrible as arguments are, they can bring things out in the open and actually help in the long run. You're not nasty at all, you're lovely. It's just hard to not let TTC take over sometimes.

As for the romantic weekend at home idea (picnic etc), plus the cheap BnB just for a night idea, they both sound brilliant!! Let us know what you plan.
Oh yay, I'm gonna get on the internet tonight and have a look for somewhere we can go for a cheap weekend!! I feel inspired now.

xxx

Thanks chick, I might even play a weekend away camping, we both love wacking a tent up somewhere random,and having a mince around!!!
Might even head down to Dorset or somewhere.
xx