As we bypass 1 yr of TTC- just getting things off my chest

[ilovecheese]

I shared this with a few of my buddy groups, and I thought I would share it here. It's kind of a vent and just kinda getting stuff out.

I haven't had a TWW in three months, ever since I have started in with the RE. I've been pumped full of hormones; I feel angry, beat down, and I feel like I've been pissing money down the drain. Feeling defeated.

DBF even cried with me last night. He said, "I don't think I've ever wanted anything this badly, ever." We were both just bawling our eyes out about all of this- we probably SHOULDN'T be spending money on fertility procedures, the bills will be slightly behind b/c of it, but my boys [not biologically his] aren't going without and that's what *I* [and he] think is important.

I felt so awful seeing him like that, but at the same time, I am so glad to have reassurance that he's on the same page as me. We've always talked about how infertility can break couples apart and said that as long as we're on the same page- TRULY on the same page and not relenting for the sake of the other person- I think we'll be okay.

He was crying saying, "I want to sing to your pregnant belly. I want to rub your swollen feet and rock our baby to sleep- I want to be so tired that I can't even see straight because the baby has kept us up all night, I want to change poopy diapers- I want to see its first little smile..." For those of you who [may] think guys who cry aren't manly, well I guess you think my DBF is a wimp now, but I feel very lucky.

This Clomid has me a mess. Thanks for reading.

 

[RubyRainbows]

He sounds very sweet! I hope you are blessed with a sticky bean very soon!

 

[MrsRM]

Hey
Just wanted to say you sound as if you have a very lovely BF that loves you very much and you are also very lucky to have an open relationship where you are able to share such feelings. Hang in there...and one thing i have learnt is that a relationship needs to be about more than just TTC. My husband pointed out to me that 'its all i ever talk about' which shocked and saddened me a bit. So basicall love and enjoy the good thing that you have got and do't give up hope of your dream xxxx

 

[Deb111]

I don't think there are many women on here who would think your bf is a wimp. It must be so reassuring for you to be so in-tune with each other with reagrds to both wanting a baby together so badly.

I hope you will both be bleseed with your little one soon xx

 

[DragonMummy]

He sounds gorgeous. I'm always more worried about the guys who don't seem to give a toss if their other half gets pregnant or not and they have to struggle alone. The fact that he is hurting as much as you are just reinforces the fact that you are both absolutely destined for this to happen xxx

 

[hevGsd]

Aww thats so nice. I dont think your man is a wimp in the slightest!
Since I've been on my TTC journey I've seen so many people that truly deserve a baby, yet it's the people that really aren't in the the right circumstances that always seem to get them I wish you all the luck in the world!