at my wits end :(

[louise1302]

well after everything hes put me through hes not come home from schoiol again tonight
have no idea where he is or what hes doing apart from begging for money at the shops an hour ago (someone told me)

im getting to the point im going to put him in social services care

 

[shampain]

I have no advice but just wanted to give you massive cuddles xxx

 

[hypnorm]

Maybe that might be the option, have you tried to sit him down and ask him why he isnt happy and what would make him change (sorry if obvious or tried already)

May be tell him that you are thinking of putting him into care if he is that unhappy.
I wish i could help more, i have a strong willed 4 yr old and i pray that he will be a good boy, i understand that you feel powerless.

 

[louise1302]

well i found him but not before brandon and 8 of his mates had battered his brother Bradley was out on his bike spotted brandon and told him to come home so brandon does no more than batter brad and ivite his mates to join in so now ive called the police, lets see how he likes being arrested i will not tolerate violence against his brothers

i asked his dad to take him full tim and was told he wasnt ready to have him grrr

 

[hypnorm]

I really feel for you.

 

[24/7]

What a horrible situation to be in.
When are the police coming round re the incident with his brother? xxxx

 

[TattiesMum]

Oh Hon

 

[v2007]

Im so sorry your having to go thru this.

How did you go with the Police?



V xxx

 

[louise1302]

the police didnt turn up until 10 30 this evening and i told them they couldnt talk to them as they were both in bed asleep, how ridiculous when i called them at 5pm yesterday

well drastic improvement today tbh

he let his dad pick him up from school and was nice, he came in and cleaned his room in return he got 30 mins on facebook(he has an account but he doesnt know the password and only uses it supervised tbh more to play the games) and whatever he chose for tea id cook-he picked cheese and onion pie?

he then went to bed and went straight to sleep at 10pm

i also got him a reward chat which we use with the students at school(special needs high school) its nothing to do with special needs though its just a basic reward chart numbered 1 to 50 in squares but to not make him feel left out i got all 3 of the older kids one and put their name on and laminated them. ive told them if they get 35 points in a week they can have a special treat although i havent decideed what that will be yet...any suggestions welcome but im not rich and probs will have to involve the baby some of the time if ross is working

maybe me absolutely losing the plot with him last night and dragging him home in front of his mates by the scruff of the neck and making him ask his father if he could go there gave him the short sharp shock he needs

im not counting my chickens but i am going to grab each positive day with both hands- have done nothing but praise him tonight hopefully it sinks in

 

[v2007]

Thats wonderful news.

Sometimes a shock to the system is whats needed.

V xxxx

 

[Pixie71]

Hey thats a good one. Keep it going
For treats as them what they would like in moderation and go with it....

 

[louise1302]

we have had a chat and rewards are as follows(there being 3 of them they cant be expensive lol) if they get 35 points out oif 50 for the week we will have a special dinner and dvd night with popcorn and stuff then if they manage that 4 weeks in a row we will have a day out somewhere ie cinema and bowling, swimming , theme park, zoo etc....doi you think thats ok

 

[pinkmummy]

I think that sounds really good hun good luck xx

 

[louise1302]

well the police finally came and took a statement from brad. Brandon also got the telling off of his life. turns out his face was known to the community policeofficer that came round as hed chased him for lighting fires on wasteground
fingers crossed he leaves the gang behind now

 

[24/7]

Glad they came round, hopefully will scare him into following the new reward system xx

 

[Pixie71]

hopefully thats the jump start he needed. rewards sound good!

 

[louise1302]

great so now ive reported him to the police 3 times im getting a refferal to social services so if i was one of those mothers that didnt gove a shit and didnt call the police to try and straighten him out id be left alone go figure. im even more annoyed now.

 

[TattiesMum]

great so now ive reported him to the police 3 times im getting a refferal to social services so if i was one of those mothers that didnt gove a shit and didnt call the police to try and straighten him out id be left alone go figure. im even more annoyed now.

I can't hug you enough Hon ... It's so frustrating isn't it?

 

[louise1302]

hopefully they are coming to help and not judge my parenting maybe they can offer some outside help. surely they must see i have 3 perfectly well behaved other children

 

[TattiesMum]

hopefully they are coming to help and not judge my parenting maybe they can offer some outside help. surely they must see i have 3 perfectly well behaved other children

I hope so Louise, but you know what they are like They are part of the problem imo .... it's so easy to blame us as parents, despite our other perfectly behaved children, than to actually help especially as the kids have so many damn rights that there actually doesn't seem to be any way to make sure they behave

The world has gone mad Hon

Maybe I'm being un-necessarily pessimistic (I always prefer that to being disappointed if I look on the bright side LOL) .... Be firm with them - show them your other children - stay calm - insist that they come up with solutions that involve Brandon and try not to batter them around the head with any blunt instrument that comes to hand