At my wits end :-(

[Cat_pj]

My LO is 10 months on Friday and has always been a terrible sleeper. But at the moment its even worse. She's up at least twice a night for a feed, which I don't have a problem with, its the putting her down that is so difficult.

She only wants to sleep in arms or in our bed. I feed her until she falls asleep in the evening then I put her down in the cot. Last night she lasted 20 mins before waking up and screaming. I go up and rock her/ feed her etc, lie in the dark and she either falls asleep, I put her down and she's instantly awake. Or, she just doesn't go back to sleep at all. I end up just going to bed and she falls asleep in the bed with me (eventually).

Its driving me mad. She's never self settled in her entire life. I'm actually regretting being so 'attached' early on in her life, co-sleeping etc. In some ways I'd like to try CIO which I never dreamt I would, but I don't think it would work anyway. She can stand up and wouldn't lie down and cry so I can't imagine her crying to sleep iyswim?

Help me, please!!! I just don't know what to do!!!!!!

Thanks sorry for the long post! xx

 

[stardust599]

If you are really tired could you co-sleep for the next 3 weeks or so for a bit more rest and then try some gentle techniques to get her self settling.

She will never sleep a good period in her cot until she learns to fall asleep on it from awake without your help. You could also just co-sleep until she is old enough to learn from words etc. that her own bed is nice and safe and a good place to sleep.

Does she have a good nap routine?

Good bedtime routine?

Does she have a special comforter or blanket - this would be really handy?

If you wanted to just "go for it" so to speak you could do "put-down"

Start at the first nap of the day rather than bedtime.

Do your normal pre-nap routine, put LO in cot and tuck in. Say a special sleep cue (like "Sleepy time now, love you" and go out the room. If LO stands up, fusses etc. just leave her but if she cries go back in and tuck her in without saying anything, if you need to you can try something to soothe her - like patting her bum, gently shuggling her, stroking her head, holding her hand etc. but stop once she has calmed down then say you're sleep cue and leave again. Repeat over and over. It can take 250+ times the first time you do it and she might not nap at all the first day or 2 but afterwards the time it takes goes down so quickly. It helps to have some support to stop you giving in and cuddling her to sleep as this undoes every little bit of work you've done.

This is the quickest way of doing it besides CIO.

xx

 

[Cat_pj]

If you are really tired could you co-sleep for the next 3 weeks or so for a bit more rest and then try some gentle techniques to get her self settling.

She will never sleep a good period in her cot until she learns to fall asleep on it from awake without your help. You could also just co-sleep until she is old enough to learn from words etc. that her own bed is nice and safe and a good place to sleep.

Does she have a good nap routine?

Good bedtime routine?

Does she have a special comforter or blanket - this would be really handy?

If you wanted to just "go for it" so to speak you could do "put-down"

Start at the first nap of the day rather than bedtime.

Do your normal pre-nap routine, put LO in cot and tuck in. Say a special sleep cue (like "Sleepy time now, love you" and go out the room. If LO stands up, fusses etc. just leave her but if she cries go back in and tuck her in without saying anything, if you need to you can try something to soothe her - like patting her bum, gently shuggling her, stroking her head, holding her hand etc. but stop once she has calmed down then say you're sleep cue and leave again. Repeat over and over. It can take 250+ times the first time you do it and she might not nap at all the first day or 2 but afterwards the time it takes goes down so quickly. It helps to have some support to stop you giving in and cuddling her to sleep as this undoes every little bit of work you've done.

This is the quickest way of doing it besides CIO.

xx

Thank you. We don't have a good routine, no. In fact, its only been the last month or so that she has had a set bed time. The co-sleeping really set it in stone. OH is vehemently anti-co sleeping and was the main driver behind the cot-emphasis and now I think he's right with it.

I guess I'm going to have to bite the bullet and just go for the PUPD. I do think I've caved too easily before. Thank you for taking the time to reply! xx

 

[blondey]

Hi hun,

Don't have much advice as AM is usually a good sleeper (although at this moment in time, being a monkey with her nap!!)

Just wanted to give and that I hope some other mums have some good advice for you.
x

 

[Cat_pj]

Hi hun,

Don't have much advice as AM is usually a good sleeper (although at this moment in time, being a monkey with her nap!!)

Just wanted to give and that I hope some other mums have some good advice for you.
x

Thank you Alana!

 

[stardust599]

If you are really tired could you co-sleep for the next 3 weeks or so for a bit more rest and then try some gentle techniques to get her self settling.

She will never sleep a good period in her cot until she learns to fall asleep on it from awake without your help. You could also just co-sleep until she is old enough to learn from words etc. that her own bed is nice and safe and a good place to sleep.

Does she have a good nap routine?

Good bedtime routine?

Does she have a special comforter or blanket - this would be really handy?

If you wanted to just "go for it" so to speak you could do "put-down"

Start at the first nap of the day rather than bedtime.

Do your normal pre-nap routine, put LO in cot and tuck in. Say a special sleep cue (like "Sleepy time now, love you" and go out the room. If LO stands up, fusses etc. just leave her but if she cries go back in and tuck her in without saying anything, if you need to you can try something to soothe her - like patting her bum, gently shuggling her, stroking her head, holding her hand etc. but stop once she has calmed down then say you're sleep cue and leave again. Repeat over and over. It can take 250+ times the first time you do it and she might not nap at all the first day or 2 but afterwards the time it takes goes down so quickly. It helps to have some support to stop you giving in and cuddling her to sleep as this undoes every little bit of work you've done.

This is the quickest way of doing it besides CIO.

xx

Thank you. We don't have a good routine, no. In fact, its only been the last month or so that she has had a set bed time. The co-sleeping really set it in stone. OH is vehemently anti-co sleeping and was the main driver behind the cot-emphasis and now I think he's right with it.

I guess I'm going to have to bite the bullet and just go for the PUPD. I do think I've caved too easily before. Thank you for taking the time to reply! xx

Good luck hun, I think not many reply as nobody has the answers.

I still haven't managed to solve the fact that my LO wants to start her day anytime between 4.30 and 5.30am! xx

 

[Natsku]

Don't really know what to advise as I'm going through this all over again with Maria (she used to self-settle, forgot, learnt again, forgot, learnt again and now seems to have forgotten again) but lots of I know its hard

 

[Cattia]

With my daughter we did the same sort of sleep training that Stardust just recommended. I jad a sleep cue and I would just sit in her room and repeat the sleep cue over and over again, sometimes with a hand on the chest or bum. I didn't pick her up or make eye contact. It didn't actually take that kong for her to start self settling and she slept through the night soon after and has sone ever since. She was about 8 months old. The progrmme we used was called Sleepsense and there were several others on here doing it at the tine so we had a great support thread. It does take a few really sleepless nights but for us it was worth it and she was much less grumpy in the day once she started sleeping better.

 

[chubbin]

Urgh, its so hard isnt it, I feel your pain.
I could have written your post when LO was the same age. I ended up just co-sleeping full time, after I tried everything else, including CC. And it works for us, we still do it. I think I just accepted that I have a bad sleeper (who hated his cot), and that I will try again with a 'big boy's' bed when he can talk and understand a bit better!
Sending massive hugs, you just gotta do whatever to make it work for you and LO, and maybe that means co-sleeping for a while xx

 

[girlsmooch]

my lo was always a terrible sleeper but is actually sleeping through about half the time now.

if i were you i'd put in place a really set bedtime routine we do bath, dressed, stories with daddy then bottle. its not necessarily at the same time every night and lo does fall asleep on the bottle about half the time but he also knows when he starts his routine that its bedtime. so even if it takes a while to self settle the clues are there.

my lo has gotten much better over the last couple of months (he's 14 months) and now when he's playing he'll lie down on a cushion and say night night so it wont take that long for your lo to understand simple cues like that. he's much easier to get to bed now i can say night night and he knows what i mean!