At the end of my tether :(

[Katteh]

My baby is 8.5 weeks old and I'm seriously doubting whether I'm going to be able to continue breastfeeding him.

He is still taking 30-45 minutes a time to feed, mostly nearer 45 minutes and sometimes an hour. He had a tongue tie which I got snipped, and he also has an upper lip tie, but they're generally not snipped in the UK.

If he actually fed properly I think he could finish a feed in 20 mins tops, but after the initial letdown, he gets really fussy and pulls on and off, cries, tries desperately to latch on then cries when he does, has to be burped regularly as he gets a lot of wind (which is quite often accompanied by bringing some of his feed up), or just falls asleep.

He only feeds without faffing for about 5-10 minutes, and I know some babies can take all they need in that time, but I'd guess by how my boobs feel that he has only taken an ounce or so after that time. I feel like its a total battle to get the rest into him.

He isn't a particularly hungry baby, and I feel after his initial 5 minutes, he would happily stop and just do something else. He is generally pretty content and very smiley. I would also say I have to wake him for about 75% of his feeds (I don't let him go more than 3 hours in the day because I know full well he will sleep for longer then wake up screaming with hunger).

It makes feeding out and about very difficult and to be honest I just find it very stressful and difficult in general. I have a 3 year old daughter who is at home most of the time with us too and she gets up to so much mischief whilst I feed him.

Sometimes we will have a few good days, but then it reverts back to this fussing/sleeping/crying whilst feeding behaviour.

I really want to continue breastfeeding, but feel I'm just getting really stressed out, and some days I just want to cry!

Not sure what I'm hoping to achieve with this, I guess I'm secretly hoping someone else has had a similar experience and can tell me that it will get better. I've spoken to health visitors, midwives and a lactation consultant and none of them seem to be able to offer any useful advice.

He is just as faffy when being fed a bottle, he will have the initial first ounce or two but then just fusses about taking the rest, although eventually will.

I should probably add that his weight gain is fine, he is following his centile line mostly. In the past two weeks he gained 15oz (although prior to that he gained 14oz, 11oz, 10oz then 9oz each week).

Help!x

 

[Rachel_C]

I don't have any experience with lip tie so I can't advise on that, but what happens if you let him feed as and when he wants? You say he would be happy after 5-10 minutes of a feed, so I assume you're trying to make him stay on the boob after that? What happens if you don't do that, have you tried? When you say he's not a hungry baby, I wonder if you're just not letting him get hungry? If he's taking more than he really wants in each feed, it will be longer until he next wakes. Some babies just aren't meant to take 3 oz or whatever at a time. My first was FF so I know how much she would take - she would have one or two ounces every hour or every 2 hours. It was a bit of a pain feeding her that often BUT each feed was only short and was pretty stress free. My youngest is BF and was quite a snacky feeder in some phases - she would feed for 5 mins every hour rather than 15 mins every 3 hours. I wonder if your LO is more like that?

 

[ssjad]

Yeah, i agree with Rachel.
Babies tend to know what they want. how about you follow his lead for a while and see how that goes?
I'm a big believer in feeding baby when they're hungry and sleeping as long as they want. it can definitely feel rather disorganised though!

 

[Katteh]

Yeah I think you're right. I guess because the last two weeks he only gained 7oz a week, I worry that if he feeds less often he will gain less and we will start approaching the lower side of weight gain.

I did realise that the day before yesterday I ate a lot of dairy, and I've noticed a bit of a correlation between dairy and the way he acts before, so I'm going to cut it out for a week and see if it makes a difference too.

 

[NoodleSnack]

Your experience is very similar to mine, though my problems were due to oversupply and overactive letdown. It was really depressing to see him struggle at the breast, refusing to feed, worrying about him not eating enough, being gassy and producing green poo, trying to feed him every 30 minutes, on top of the exhaustion, I can't imagine having another child to look after too. But I can tell you it does get better. For me it was around 13week, it was past the three months I promised myself I'll go past, but he wouldn't take a bottle, so I had to keep going in the mean time, and we started to fall into a schedule, he learns to deal with the fast letdown and my supply adjusted, now he's even dropped some day feeds so he feeds morning, before naps, before bed and night time, and it's nice to have that quiet time with him.

 

[FAB mama]

My LO went through phases around that age where he would get fussy and pull off and cry. I'm not sure what caused it. At the time I thought maybe a stuffy nose making it hard for him to breathe and eat. It was winter then though. I didn't change anything major, but he got over all of the BFing difficulties and became a little pro! I would keep trying if you really want it to work. I don't think 7 oz a week bad weight gain at all. I think my LO only gained about a pound a month and he's perfectly healthy.