At the end of my tether.....

[babydevil1989]

i dont know what to do with him anymore!

all he does is hit, kick, headbutt ect i dont know why hes started doing it but nothing i do stops him!!!

iv tried
the naughty spot.
crying telling him hes hurt me
putting him to bed
shouting
tapping his hand (one thing i said i would never do but it was a last resort!)

he starts pre school in january and i dont want him being the one that hits the other children!

its really getting me down

i need some advice!

 

[aimee-lou]

Is there a pattern? Is it when he's tired, or frustrated, or hungry? Earl normally hits out if he's tired and frustrated as his words fail him a little.

It is a phase, so try not to worry. We use the naughty spot, although it doesn't always work as it can sometimes inflame the situation so if he starts to get out of control I will sit down with him next to me, stay calm and ask him 'what's wrong'. 9 times out of 10 he'll tell me, or he'll continue to hit. If he does this, then I'll walk away for a further minute then try again. Try not to feed into it but giving him attention for the negative behaviour.

I find too that I'm the only person that Earl hits....ever. He goes to the CM's on a couple fo days per week, and to nursery on a friday, and I've never been told he's hit someone. But at home, it's a different matter. He's gotten a lot better since I've done this, and I try not to let him get overwhelmed and tired.

 

[babydevil1989]

its mainly when hes doing something he shouldnt! he just does it most of the day!

he speaks but only words not well enough to tell me whats wrong.

im just fed up! up until 2-3 months ago he was such a laid back child and now its like hes always on the brink of a tantrum! x

 

[QTPie]

Put him in his room in timeout (no toys etc).

Poor you - that is horrible *hugs*

 

[babydevil1989]

dont get me wrong hes a lovely funny little boy when things are going his way but when there not he turns!

its mainly me that he does it to. his dad doesnt seem to get it much! x

 

[aimee-lou]

Sounds to me like he's on the cusp of a spurt with his language, but he's not quite there yet (Earl is terrible if he's in this phase so I really sympathise).

I don't know what to suggest other than persevering, trying to give him lots of constructive play opportunities (so he doesn't get in trouble and frustrated) and encouraging his speech a bit so he can tell you what's wrong rather than acting out.

It will pass though, just keep going with the consistent response and he'll get there.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

If Ruby hits us (she does this thing when we're holding her where she basically 'claps' but with our face in the middle, ouch) we put her down, get down to her level and explain to her very simply and firmly that we don't hit people because it hurts. We ask her what is a nicer thing to do and she does usually say a kiss or stroking or a cuddle. If she is tired, bored, hungry, unwell or otherwise frustrated that is when she does that most. Although sometimes she is literally being over exuberant, like she is excited to see someone (and she does wave her arms around a lot when this is the case!)
The issue is a lack of impulse control really.