Atheists/Agnostics, how would/do you hand your LO being exposed to religion?

[Dragonfly]

I don't know any religious people so I'm not too worried about it. I guess I will compare religious stories to believing in Santa.

I agree but never say that out loud as people tend to get offended . But yes all fictional to me.

 

[Tiff]

I'm conflicted about religion. I like the idea of faith very much actually, and not going to lie in my sad/scared moments I do pray. I was raised religious, but I find the idea of Church very corrupt. Of course, this is all based off of what I personally saw in my own experiences, I can't speak for others.

I got our daughter "dedicated" (Baptist version of Christening) and it was important to me to be married by a pastor... but to go to church every week? The ones I went to were incredibly hypocritical and definitely didn't practice what they preached.

My Assistant Youth Pastor got charged for being one of the heads of a child pornography ring, my sunday school teacher used to tell us about how she was a witch and would "call upon the powers of the devil" all the time, and one time she used the devil-powers to fix a broken glass tray at a 'coven' party. My church let said convicted pedophile back into services no questions asked, but when it came time to replace the person who played the organ there was a huge congregational meeting where people were "perturbed as to her intentions" of wanting to play the organ.

Really? REALLY??????

As for Claire, I will leave it up to her. I want her to have some exposure to see what its all about and she can make her own decisions about it like I did. I was exposed and chose not to fully follow it.

 

[Sarahkka]

Tiff, I think you are downplaying the real danger here - those organ players can be a real danger to society! If I had to choose between pedophiles, axe-murderers, and organ-players for the Number One Menace to All Humanity, it would be organ players and their weird "intentions" every time!!!

 

[tina3747]

Tiff, I think you are downplaying the real danger here - those organ players can be a real danger to society! If I had to choose between pedophiles, axe-murderers, and organ-players for the Number One Menace to All Humanity, it would be organ players and their weird "intentions" every time!!!

Stop with the mocking sarahkka....

You clearly haven't read the recent study into 'subliminal satanic messages via organ playing ' have you???

Do your research before typing lady!!!

 

[Ourbabybell]

Great Topic! I just brought this up with a coworker of mine (imagine him the part time pastor and all things holy man, and me the COMPLETE OPPOSITE on 12 hour shifts together, 3 night a week!) We often talk about religion and have been able to remain prettu civil about it, thought we both think the other is nuts!

My entire family is very methodist and I was raised that way as well. At around 14 I started becoming interested in researching other things after seeing a Buddism documentary and have spend a lot of my life since reading up on different beliefs and religions and realizing a simply fact. I do not 100% agree with any said religion so I don't 'subscribe' to any 'labels.' Upon learning this at around 16 years old my family was HEARTBROKEN. They have literally at least a couple times a year since I was 16 (now 22) called me or came to me crying because 'I am going to hell and will never see them again.' That is all fine and dandy to me. Being Methodist they believe in the unforgivable sin of denying Jesus, so one day when they were all praying around me awkwardly I said some 'unforgivable words' and told them they could stop now! I was damned and they couldn't fix it (didnt work, go figure!!)

I know my little sprout is going to grow up and hear all sorts of things, her/his cousins will be going to church and if he/she wants to go than that is fine with me. When sprout gets to the age to ask me questions I will give him/her every answer I can (catholics believe this, hindu believe this and so on.)

In conclusion (sorry for the essay!) I am not worried a bit about the life path sprout with choose when it comes to religion as long as he/she decides it for him/herself!

 

[Tiff]

Tiff, I think you are downplaying the real danger here - those organ players can be a real danger to society! If I had to choose between pedophiles, axe-murderers, and organ-players for the Number One Menace to All Humanity, it would be organ players and their weird "intentions" every time!!!

I know right? I bet every extremest out there who's bombing buildings and protesting troops etc all have "organ players" on their CV. I still laugh about this to this day.

All laughing aside, it was freaking creepy. Where he'd bring up the little boys to do it was actually just down the street from where my grandmother was buried. Her cemetery is actually in a remote part of town and lots of fields etc around it. My parents didn't go to the grave that often and I was upset about it, so doing (what I thought was normal) at the time - I spoke to my youth group directors. Him being one of them. HE actually offered to take me to her grave.

I got a weird feeling and declined (I would have been in grade 7 at the time) figuring that my parents wouldn't be impressed with another person taking me to a family grave.

After all that we find out that its THOSE fields he'd take the little boys to. I don't think he would have done anything to me... but still!!! Kinda shakes your foundation iykwim?

Apparently totally fine as well to have ex-devil worshippers as Sunday School teachers too.

The organ was such a farce. Of course, said church is very clique-ish and the lady who offered to do it wasn't part of the "IN" crowd. The organ players got a small amount of money (wasn't much, like $10 a week or so to play the organ for church) and the lady actually DECLINED the money. She said that since the church had done so much for her, this was her way to give back and she'd be thrilled to do it just to do it (very gifted musically) and didn't want any money to do so.

Yup, but there's a huge meeting about that!!! All the little old judgemental ladies putting their hands up doubting her intentions. To play the organ.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch:

Convicted child pornographer is let back in with basically open arms. So much talk of "turning the other cheek" etc.


Sorry if I sound venomous in talking about my experiences. I was literally forced to go EVERY Sunday to this farce of a church for 14 years until I finally threw a fit and refused to go. Even then life at home was made hell for me because I wasn't going, I ended up moving out on my own not that much later.

 

[Sarahkka]

Tiff, I think you are downplaying the real danger here - those organ players can be a real danger to society! If I had to choose between pedophiles, axe-murderers, and organ-players for the Number One Menace to All Humanity, it would be organ players and their weird "intentions" every time!!!

I know right? I bet every extremest out there who's bombing buildings and protesting troops etc all have "organ players" on their CV. I still laugh about this to this day.

All laughing aside, it was freaking creepy. Where he'd bring up the little boys to do it was actually just down the street from where my grandmother was buried. Her cemetery is actually in a remote part of town and lots of fields etc around it. My parents didn't go to the grave that often and I was upset about it, so doing (what I thought was normal) at the time - I spoke to my youth group directors. Him being one of them. HE actually offered to take me to her grave.

I got a weird feeling and declined (I would have been in grade 7 at the time) figuring that my parents wouldn't be impressed with another person taking me to a family grave.

After all that we find out that its THOSE fields he'd take the little boys to. I don't think he would have done anything to me... but still!!! Kinda shakes your foundation iykwim?

Apparently totally fine as well to have ex-devil worshippers as Sunday School teachers too.

The organ was such a farce. Of course, said church is very clique-ish and the lady who offered to do it wasn't part of the "IN" crowd. The organ players got a small amount of money (wasn't much, like $10 a week or so to play the organ for church) and the lady actually DECLINED the money. She said that since the church had done so much for her, this was her way to give back and she'd be thrilled to do it just to do it (very gifted musically) and didn't want any money to do so.

Yup, but there's a huge meeting about that!!! All the little old judgemental ladies putting their hands up doubting her intentions. To play the organ.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch:

Convicted child pornographer is let back in with basically open arms. So much talk of "turning the other cheek" etc.


Sorry if I sound venomous in talking about my experiences. I was literally forced to go EVERY Sunday to this farce of a church for 14 years until I finally threw a fit and refused to go. Even then life at home was made hell for me because I wasn't going, I ended up moving out on my own not that much later.

Kitten, you know I love to tease you, but in all seriousness, that is hugely creepy and upsetting. Churches can be such a loving, supportive community, but when they go bad, not a lot can touch them for the toxicity. I am very glad that your younger self listened to that funny feeling about Mr. Kiddy Porn. Maybe he wasn't really a threat, but you sensed something wasn't right. Ugh. Gives me the absolute shudders that someone like that is walking around freely.

 

[Mummy Bean]

I was a bg chrisitan in my early teens ( even had a tshirt that read 'if you want to know Jesus come and speak to me' cringe worthy i know.

but after my own research and study i decided to leave the church, i believe there some thing but not a 'God' int he way the big three religions believe.

any hoo my parents are still very religious, so are my sibilings. I have said i have no problem if they want to take Parker to church or tell him stories of the bible, but I dont want it told in a tone of 'this is fact!' I want him to make his own mind up later on in life when he old enough. Im not to worried about them as whilst i know they wil pray for him, they deal with so many children from the estate they work on, in youth groups and charities so i know they know how to be sensitive to my request. Just the same as i wont send him to a faith school, but then i wont keep him out of religious classes at school.

 

[Tiff]

Sarah! I wasn't upset or mad with what you wrote, just needed to get out my personal experience with church, hence the rant.

I don't think he'd have done anything to me either, especially because I was part of his church but yeah... I'm super glad I listened to that funny feeling as well.


MB - I agree! I don't like it being said in the "this is fact" mentality either. My Mom wanted to buy Claire a Fisher-Price nativity scene, so she calls me from the store and says she wants to buy it. I say "okay" cuz I'm open to stuff like that, but then she goes on about how every Christmas when we take it out we HAVE to act out the Christmas story, use the bible while doing so and that its to be put away after so its a "special" thing.

She put so many demands on it that I told her to not worry about it.

 

[Kimmer]

People can tell my daughter about beliefs, bibles etc, but she will always know they are ancient stories with no truth behind them. I won't put her in any school that says prayers or favours a religion

 

[vaniilla]

This is the one of biggest causes of frustration in my life!

my mum and in-laws are religious and always give me the same rubbish "religious morals and upbringing are good to have" sorry, but I'm just as capable of teaching my son good values and morals without indoctrinating him! I hate it when people assume atheist = loose, bereft of any values, miserable with no joy in life. I've made it clear to them to keep their views to themselves, once lo is old enough he can seek it out, in the meantime I don't want their lecture.

forgot to add it's the main reason we'll 99% be home-schooling - there are only 2/3 non religious primary schools here and 2 are awful and the other is 250% over sub'd and out of our caption, but that is a totally different topic

 

[sandilion]

I am going to have a real problem with this as my inlaws are Christians but the very judgmental, hateful and aggressive types where they abuse and shun people who don't share their exact ideals. They are filled with pure hate towards gay's, so much that they have already started saying prayers to my LO to try and "stop the gay"

The DH and I are both Wiccan's. We wont be pushing this onto LO at all but he will be brought up with some of it though, such as the worship of nature and ones self. We feel this is a healthy thing for him to learn.

I plan to put my foot down with the inlaws the next time i see them, they actually will only ever have supervised visits with LO and if they start on about their anti gay beliefs ever again they wont be seeing LO at all.

I do plan to protect him from them, where they have the plan to try to get to him and brainwash him to believe in their ideals. I am flat out against their ideals, i think they even take it to a whole different level too. A very unhealthy level. This is a great concern to me, but I just need to remind myself that I am his mother and I have the say.

 

[Mummy Bean]

Sandilion - I saw your post in baby club, which is just terrible about your in laws...it these chrisitans that give the faith such a bad name.

my mum (step) will openly admit she was one those, she hated (yes hated) Gays, other faiths, the non religious, any thing not truly christain as she saw it. but after she married my dad she was tested in many ways, mostly by me the rebellious step daughter and then my step sister as she grew...some how between the two of us we have are very eclected group of friends, our best man was trans sexual, my sister bestfreind is Gay, we have friends who are muslin, wiccan, and hindu. Then my parents were asked to leave there last church as it was discovered they had had sex before they got married, so they joined there new free chruch, and spent a lot of time working in the communtiy, taking various preg teenagers, setting up drug councilling, and my dads runs a few fathers groups...and it really changed her...she now is quite ashamed of how she used to act and says christians are sposed to be the non judgemental ones and yet you get more judgement from then then any where else.

but that her story and off topic, it just difficult finding balance in being able to teach them anything be it religion or morals whilst leaving them open to make there own decisions.

as it just as hard for a child with religious parents to go against the faith, then for a child who parents do not believe to join a religion.

 

[LuckyYem]

I'm an athiest, dh is agnostic, MIL is a born again christian. We decided when I was pregnant with dd1 we would let her make her own mind up when she was older - as did my own parents who are both agnostic. Dd1 was given a bible from our old neighbours when she was born - they were very Christian we thanked them for the gift and put it away with the other keepsakes although I do think it was a lovely thought. Dd1 has a nativity book, and a book about Noah and his Ark but to her at the moment they 'just' stories. My personal opinion is as a parent you always want to guide your children in the right direction, but they need their own voice too and I see religion as no different. We are very lucky as the pre-school that dd1 attends is multi-faith so she gets to learn different aspects from there - well as much as you can explain to an under 3yo! She is starting nursery in January and once again they are multi-faith. MIL has never tried to push her views on our family unit - although I'm sure she was secretly hopping mad that we were 'living in sin' and had a child out of 'wedlock'. I think we have a mutal respect for what each other believes or not in my case. Although I am an athiest I do enjoy hearing about verious religions, what they beliefs are and what celebrations they have. I also love looking around old churches. So all in all I think it is a case of waiting for questions from her and answering them the best I can and will probably say like a pp that is what some people choose to believe.

 

[theraphosidae]

I'm agnostic and OH is atheist. We were both raised Catholic, and were both sent to catholic schools our whole lives but it didn't really stick with either of us. Luckily neither of our families are extremely religious, OH's grandmother is, but she respects our decision not to have baptized/christened Callum, and even if she doesn't agree with it, she doesn't bring it up or anything.

Our biggest thing is we want to expose Callum to every point of view, OH and I are evolutionists, and want Callum to learn about evolution, and they're cutting that out of a lot of Catholic schools which I personally find sad. We also want Callum to have the freedom to make his own choice later on in life...if he wants to be Buddhist, he can be. If he wants to be Jewish, he can be. If he wants to cast aside religion, like OH and I have, then he has that option too. We didn't want to make the decision for him. When he asks questions about aspects of it, such as the story behind Christmas, or Easter, we'll start with "well some people believe...." and go from there, answering it as practically as possible.

 

[Sarahkka]

I'm agnostic and OH is atheist. We were both raised Catholic, and were both sent to catholic schools our whole lives but it didn't really stick with either of us. Luckily neither of our families are extremely religious, OH's grandmother is, but she respects our decision not to have baptized/christened Callum, and even if she doesn't agree with it, she doesn't bring it up or anything.

Our biggest thing is we want to expose Callum to every point of view, OH and I are evolutionists, and want Callum to learn about evolution, and they're cutting that out of a lot of Catholic schools which I personally find sad. We also want Callum to have the freedom to make his own choice later on in life...if he wants to be Buddhist, he can be. If he wants to be Jewish, he can be. If he wants to cast aside religion, like OH and I have, then he has that option too. We didn't want to make the decision for him. When he asks questions about aspects of it, such as the story behind Christmas, or Easter, we'll start with "well some people believe...." and go from there, answering it as practically as possible.

Really? But the Catholic Church is not anti-evolution at all.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_Church_and_evolution

By the way, does your user name mean that you are a tarantula-enthusiast, by any chance?

 

[theraphosidae]

I'm agnostic and OH is atheist. We were both raised Catholic, and were both sent to catholic schools our whole lives but it didn't really stick with either of us. Luckily neither of our families are extremely religious, OH's grandmother is, but she respects our decision not to have baptized/christened Callum, and even if she doesn't agree with it, she doesn't bring it up or anything.

Our biggest thing is we want to expose Callum to every point of view, OH and I are evolutionists, and want Callum to learn about evolution, and they're cutting that out of a lot of Catholic schools which I personally find sad. We also want Callum to have the freedom to make his own choice later on in life...if he wants to be Buddhist, he can be. If he wants to be Jewish, he can be. If he wants to cast aside religion, like OH and I have, then he has that option too. We didn't want to make the decision for him. When he asks questions about aspects of it, such as the story behind Christmas, or Easter, we'll start with "well some people believe...." and go from there, answering it as practically as possible.

Really? But the Catholic Church is not anti-evolution at all.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_Church_and_evolution

By the way, does your user name mean that you are a tarantula-enthusiast, by any chance?

I wasn't taught evolution in school. Maybe it was just my crazy school, though. I have read about other schools cutting out evolution but maybe they weren't Catholic and I'm not remembering correctly. That happens a lot lately.

And yes, I am a huge tarantula enthusiast...OH and I had upwards of 200 of them before we moved to Ottawa.

 

[Larkspur]

I don't know any religious people so I'm not too worried about it. I guess I will compare religious stories to believing in Santa.

Yeah, I don't know any religious people either. I guess that's what we get for living in the most atheistic country in the world, thank god!

 

[xsadiex]

Hahaha, I think I'm going to tell him that it's stories some people believe in, but I will make it clear that it's not necessarily true,

 

[staralfur]

My grandma was agnostic and ended up with 4/7 agnostic kids, two Christian kids, and one atheist. That to me says she encouraged her children to believe in what they felt was right.

My mom is agnostic and also encouraged me to seek information, think critically, and make my own decisions. I decided when I was fairly young (10, maybe?) that I wanted to be a Christian and I was until I was 16. I am now an atheist.

However, I think Buddhism is amazing and while I don't practice in the religious aspects of it I refer to it often and just think it's lovely.

I'm very thankful to have grown up in an environment where I can have different views from my other family members and from most people I know. So I'll be making sure that my LO grows up knowing that she is free to make her own choices and whatever she believes in is okay.

If anyone were to try to push their beliefs on her I would simply tell her that that person is passionate about what they believe in, but that doesn't mean she has to be passionate about the same thing.