Aunt Needs Advice re: 2 year old!

[Agiboma]

First, I apologize if I offended some of you, the line that I used about my son was not written to compare, I was merely stating that is all I know. If I used the wrongs words to convey that, or if someone took what I said differently than intended, it was purely unintentional.

Next, I am far from judging. Once again, with feeling... I AM TRYING TO LEARN. How can I judge what I don't understand (That is not my style). I know that forums are a place for opinions, however I was not expecting to be attacked for just asking questions. There is a nice, decent way of saying "mind your own business" without actually saying it word for word like that. I understand that there are certain things that can only be understood when experienced and I am not trying to put myself in any ones shoes. Actually, that is what some of YOU are clearly doing. You are going through something and not even considering that the rest of your family may be going through something as well. And just to stop you in your tracks, NO, I am not comparing what you are going through to what your family is going through.... But clearly YOU are not able to put YOURSELF in OUR shoes. I'm not saying that you have to give out info that you don't want to, but perhaps cut people some slack for caring and wanting to learn. To want to be supportive, but know that saying something is off limits is not an easy thing... and FYI, I would be touched to find out that someone cares enough about me to take an active interest in my life. It's not like I am forcing my opinions on her. I am learning for myself. If a loved one was diagnosed with a disease, you wouldn't try to find out as much as you can about it in order to put your mind at ease? (I know, I know, now you can write all about how I am comparing premature children to having a disease... Go ahead and take that the wrong way too...)

If you could have simply answered my question by saying something along the lines of "there is not necessarily a need to worry just yet, some children are late bloomers, even at age 2", that would have been great and even helpful. To be honest, nkbapbt saying " Developmental toys (especially things like DVD's) won't help in the long run" is the most I have learned from all of the responses from you "experts". (That was truly appreciated.)

And, by the way, I believe in knowledge above ignorance meaning I would purchase a non-premature baby a learning toy as well, so that was a strange thing for someone to say...


On another note, I am not sure what kind of family dynamic you guys grew up with, but in our family (both my husband's and mine), we are a very close, supportive and loving. Taking an interest in each others lives, during both the ups and downs, is something that has always been welcome. I am being described as someone sneaking around making trouble and that I am going behind her back to do evil. Clearly some of you have issues... I also find it strange to hear some of you don't feel like it is even her mother's business (as I said, she actually talks to her mother about this).

On that note, don't bother responding --- You have not been helpful at all. I will find another forum more welcoming to families. (To keep saying that I have claimed to diagnose my nephew over skype is only more proof that some of you are just not paying attention to what I am writing anyway. I will ask people that know what they are talking about.)

Thank you to those of you who were kind enough to help, and good luck living your life to those of you who feel this post was some sort of conspiracy against my sister-in-law.

I am not sure where it all went wrong on this thread but it just seems to be getting more intense perhapes you can try www.inspire.com i see a lot of family members on their seeking information. goood luck

 

[bob2331]

Wow!

I can understand that you are trying to find out information and i think that is really kind of you, HOWEVER, if my sister (who i am extremely close to) started a thread asking question then compared her full term baby, i would hit the roof.

You need to look at it this way, how would your sister in law feel is she found this!

Bliss is a great website for prem babies, you can print leaflets which you could have a read through, maybe your sister in law would find there helpful.

When all is said, your sister in law is his mother and only she can decide to take him to check over. Although, and im not sure how it works outside on the uk, but being a prem baby, the baby would be under the care of a childs doctor and if any problems had or have come up, they would send of the tests that would need doing or refer the baby to other departments.

You say we have no been helpful but i think we have, we are just also telling you that there are different ways to go about things like this. Every single baby is different, you cant compare a premmie with a termie and i sure you can even compare a termie to another termie.

 

[LovingAunt]

nkbapbt- Thank you SO much for this information!!! I truly appreciate your in site and suggestions!!! I LOVE the idea of the sensory tub!! (As soon as I read that, I told my husband that I want to make one for our son when he gets older!) I will definitely put something together for when they come to visit. I will broach the subject of the tub in a careful manner so she may not be offended. I think this is a great idea and I think it is something he would enjoy.

Again, thank you so much for all the extremely helpful information!!!!!