Baby daddy trouble?

[Feff]

Hi ladies, I'm 16 and 22+6 weeks pregnant with a baby girl! And I need some advice about my baby's dad. When I first found out I was pregnant I told a few close friends and it got back to my ex that I was pregnant, so he made his friends ring me and ask but i denied it. I waited until around a week later after i had my scan then told him(i was in denial, i really thought there wouldnt be anything there lol!) There were also rumours going around that it was either his or someone else's so I don't know if that's made him not want to know the baby but he is being so childish! He told me he wanted to put the baby up for adoption, which I said no too then he didn't answer his phone for weeks. Then he said 'I can't let you look after it on your own' to which I told him he shouldn't feel forced into being a dad because he'll just get bored, then he ignored me for weeks AGAIN! I told him I was going to tell his mother(everyone else knew by this point) and he said she already knew and he was being civil, I told him the baby was healthy and i heard the heartbeat and he was happy, he told me what his mother said and then surprise surprise, blanked me again:/ this was about 5 weeks ago and I haven't had a conversation with him since! His mother wants to know the baby and I went to go and chat to her and she said some days he ignores her questions and shrugs everything off and says he wants a DNA test but then other times he's saying he wants to be involved but he's scared! She asked him whether he wanted to know the sex and he said 'of course I do it's my baby' but he still ignores me. I've text him over 10 times, rang him about 4, mailed him twice in the last 2 weeks and nothing, but he's saying to his mother he wants to be involved:/ now he's started telling people that I'm the one who's ignoring him and making me look bad:/ I've give up trying to get sense out of him now, but is that the right thing? I don't want to go down his house without planning it with him because I don't want him to feel like I'm pushing him into stuff but I also need to know how he feels so I can get some closure! Any ideas? Thank you x

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

If I was in your situation, I would leave him to sort his head out for the moment. It's clearly causing you a great deal of stress and confusion. He needs to make up.his mind and either be there or not. Not mess you about and string you along, getting your hopes up and then ignoring you.

Maybe go speak to him face to face and say this then leave. You cant let him behave this way, and he certainly cant behave like it once your child has arrived! Good luck

 

[Feff]

Thanks a lot nice to get someone else's perspective on it! I just wish he would tell me what he wants, at this point I don't care if he doesn't want to be involved I just want answers! I really don't want to go and see him without him saying too because I think it could do more harm than good but I'll have to if he carries on this way:/ thanks again

 

[KitaaAndBump]

Well, I had a similar situation, but next time he does contact you make sure you get it across to him that he can't just keep ignoring you and blanking you.
Oh, and if you do go to his house, make sure someone else is in the house too, I made that mistake, got asked to go down, and when I got there he locked me in the house, started screaming at me, slagging everyone (my family) off, then kicked me out the house and didn't contact.
I wouldn't have gone on my own if he'd have shown the tiniest bit of a violent streak but in the four years I'd known him he never did.

I'm 15 an 34weeks todayx

 

[Feff]

I have tried that but he still just carries on ignoring anything that I say! Oh no sorry to hear! thank you and congrats!x

 

[lil lovey]

I've been there. Like pp said leave him to sort things through. My Fob was also like that but once LO was born he came around and is thEre for the baby. Guys have their own way of dealing with things, worst thing you can do and I know I did is to nag him it won't work cuz his still gonna ignore you and you'll just go crazy...

 

[lizmageeful]

Im so sorry to hear you're in this situation. First off, it might not have been the BEST idea to let him find out through the grapevine that you were pregnant. I know my OH would have been SO angry about that. But, that being said, I really think you have to get him to sit down, away from everyone else (but not too far away, as kita said) and just talk out what you guys are going to do. It might help you get a feel for if he actually wants to be involved with the baby or not as well.

 

[Feff]

Oh I know I shouldn't have let him find out that way, I just wanted my family to find out first and have my scan because I honestly thought there would be nothing there lol! Then I ended up being a lot further along than I thought (14 weeks) so it ended up looking like I did it on purpose!:/ thanks for the advice girls x

 

[jozylynn896]

You should definatley just STOP texting , calling him ect,.
Just wait for it and he WILL end up calling/texting you!

 

[Feff]

Yeah I think that's what I'm going to do, I text him with my new number so he hasn't got an excuse now if he doesn't get in touch. Thank you

 

[Mummy1995]

I was and still am in your situation, PM me if yu wanna chat x

 

[Feff]

Thank you very much! You too x

 

[Mommie0711]

Keep your head up. He will come around sooner or later. Just take care of you and the baby that's inside you. Don't worry about him 'of course it's hard cause you want him there. Im going through a hard time with my boyfriend cause he can't let go of what happened in the past. All I know is just move on forward and keep yourself happy don't let anyone have you shed a tear cause your baby is feeling that.

 

[Feff]

Thanks a lot! I did have a few teary days to begin with but now I've realised that there's no point in crying over it, and he'll be the one missing out! X

 

[babyfish2012]

I'm 18 and possibly 3 weeks, and I'm having my own worries about my bf the babies daddy although i shouldn't we've been together almost a year and have had this conversation a couple times already. I know that if i was in your situation i would not put up with that. He does need to make up his mind, but thats up to him when. I did not meet or know my biological father until may when i was 17 and my mother and her mother before her were both single parent with 3-4kids. I know i would want the father of my child in their life but that is their decision especially if their showing signs of not being able to be a good parent. But remember having a kid is not hard, raising them is and its even harder doing it by yourself, so even if he decides no, make sure you have other people there for you.

 

[SilentBeauty]

Darling I'm 19 & 14 weeks preggers with my darling baby. I've been in your situation honey & if I we're you leave him be. Don't stress yourself over him, it won't do you any good. So just chill a bit for a while. Maybe sooner or later he'll come around the corner. Ok? Smile honey.

 

[Mommy2be7720]

I'm a little older than you but I am currently 39 weeks pregnant and have not spoken to LOs father since I was about 7-8 weeks. Although you may want to speak to your babies father, you shouldn't push him to want to be in his child's life. Be careful what you ask for because you may want him involved now and regret that later!