Baby measuring big, MIL rant

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by WantsALittle1, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. WantsALittle1

    WantsALittle1 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2012
    Messages:
    3,746
    Likes Received:
    0
    I had a growth scan yesterday and little man is in the 93rd percentile for 24+3. He is 1lb 14oz. As I was leaving, the doctor said I really need to get the GD test, which is scheduled on the 23rd. My husband and his brother were both 10+ lbs at birth. Their father was also 10+ lbs. MIL was 9+ lbs. Big babies are definitely in the genes, and MIL also had borderline GD.

    I have a maternal history of pelvic prolapse, and have mild prolapse myself after carrying DD to only 31 weeks. I was planning for a VBAC as long as LO is a reasonable size, but he's on track to be a 9-10 lb baby so I'm leaning more toward a repeat C-section because I don't want to be incontinent at the ripe age of 32, well... any more than I already am :) MIL was giving me a hard time about carrying this baby to 40+ weeks, saying things like "don't you want his brain to develop?" "you can handle it" "10lb babies come out really quickly" "you need to keep him in there until 40 weeks--I carried *** until I was 3 days overdue..."

    I really don't appreciate that, as she doesn't have a history of prolapse, nor did she have the extreme back problems, anemia, and other pregnancy-related ailments that I have. His brain will develop, whether outside the womb at 39 weeks or inside the womb at 39 weeks. Yes, there is a minutely elevated risk for breathing problems and temperature regulation at 39 weeks but I am not concerned as the odds of survival and lifelong thriving for a 39-weeker are essentially equal to those of a 40-weeker. I've got a daughter and husband to take care of, and do not want to damage my back permanently or need a mesh (my mom had several) or hysterectomy later on from prolapse caused by birthing a very large baby. My back pain is so bad that I can barely sleep, and am on muscle relaxers. I can barely lift DD, and so carrying LO for one less week would honestly make a world of difference for me.

    I would be happy if our little man came out on his own at 37+ weeks, and if he doesn't come out on his own time, I am leaning toward a scheduled C-section at 39 weeks. I know that some people are going to come on here and tell me that I need to carry to 40 weeks but frankly, I can't do that when LO is projected to be 10+ lbs. I do not want to be cripple or pee/poo myself for the rest of my life when my son's chances of survival are virtually the same at 39 weeks as they are at 40. I wish MIL would lay off. I am NOT her, not built like her. I am a distinct individual bringing my own biology and family history to this pregnancy, and I'm no less of a woman if I cannot birth a 10-lb baby without risking disability for the rest of my life! If we were in the ancestral environment, I would HAVE to birth this child vaginally but we are not. We have technology that can save me a lot of suffering in the long run and I don't think it's bad to use it. End rant!
     
  2. Shandelion

    Shandelion Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2013
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ten pound babies come out faster? Gee, never heard that one before. Sounds like you have an awesome gist of your best interests, and sounds like she hasn't heard a single word you've said for your health or the babies! Good for you for knowing what's best! :)
     
  3. rosepetals36

    rosepetals36 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2013
    Messages:
    1,392
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ignore MIL hun, she has no control on your pregnancy, as you say you need to think about u and your baby and if the hosp thought 1 week was going to have a detrimental effect to baby then they would advise against it....if i had your issues and predicted a 10lber i would bebhaving the same thoughts as you, you need a speedy recovery and zero complications, there's your daughter to think about too and she needs her mummy, us women have to just get on with things and suffer in silence!
     
  4. xjesx

    xjesx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2013
    Messages:
    1,758
    Likes Received:
    0
    Just thank her for her opinion and concern, and that you will note it when you and your healthcare provider make the decision.

    That way you completely ignore what she says, you do what is best for you and it is politely performed. You don't look bad (because you politely thanked her) and maybe she will shut up about it.
     
  5. wildworld

    wildworld Pregnant - 1st trimester

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    677
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ignore her, your baby, your choice! x
     
  6. Mii

    Mii Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2011
    Messages:
    1,521
    Likes Received:
    0
    I had a 9lb baby and labor was fairly fast but he did not come out quickly thats for sure lol you do what is best for you and baby, ignore MIL and do what you gotta do! :)
     
  7. ready2bamum

    ready2bamum Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2010
    Messages:
    634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Bless you, people always have an unwanted opinion don't they..i keep thinking I want another c section coz my boy was 9.14 and they say your second is much bigger...although I am torn coz id also like to experience natural, just to say id done it..lol.
    Can I ask how come you have growth scans, id love to request ones for this little one as that would be my decider as well depending on how big they were predicted to be. Im scared of my lady bits been smashed to smithereens by a 10lber..lol....and I have a mate who had forceps and has had to have a full reconstruction down below...that scares me to be honest. Can I say i'll go for VBAC only if you give me regular scans?
    To be honest I did gain 4 stone with the first so I don't think I helped myself, im trying not to do as much damage this time. xx
     
  8. WantsALittle1

    WantsALittle1 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2012
    Messages:
    3,746
    Likes Received:
    0
    ready2b: I have growth scans every 4 weeks now, and every week starting at 28 weeks, because I am classed as high risk for preterm birth. DD was born at 31+3 due to life-threatening cord entanglement so the growth scans are to track LO's growth in case we have another preemie, and to check regularly for cord position.
     
  9. HBGirl

    HBGirl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    My motto is always this "unless its your vagina, your opinion does not count".
     
  10. Ofireland

    Ofireland Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2013
    Messages:
    94
    Likes Received:
    0
    Those accusations have little or no scientific justification. As for brain developing, I was born 3 months premature and am perfectly fine, so I doubt 2-3 weeks would make a dramatic difference one way or the other. And 30% of women in the US have C-sections, so there's definitely no medical imperative to give birth vaginally. If your situation is high risk enough that your doctor's recommend a C-section, it is what it is, and not really her business. :/
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice