Baby shower, or.

[Sinclair]

It's a little late for us to actually plan a baby shower, however not completely a small one either.

However, we, lovey's family and I, got into the discussion about a baby shower, or having a sip and see for our son. This is our second pregnancy, our second baby, however, we lost our daughter at 18 weeks. ( We still count it as our son as our second, our little girl will always be our first. =3 Anyway... )

We had a lot of drama with planning our wedding when it came to his side of his family, my side ( gotta say thankfully ) don't care. People wanting to know why they weren't invited, demanding they "should" be invited, etc. A good example was lovey's godmother, in the entire time we dated, I never met this woman, seen her, talked to her, or anything, but she felt she was entitled to be at our wedding. We just dealt with a lot of drama when it came to planning the wedding, it was a major pain in the ass..

So, fast forward, we're pregnant with our son. We thought about having a baby shower for him, since he's our first, and a good possibly to be our last as well, however, we don't want to go through the annoyance we did before. So, we thought about another idea so our son would be the center of attention instead of me. A sip and see. ( Gender reveal is already, well, revealed, as soon as we found out. ) Beyond that, we're up in the air about ideas.

It'll be more straight forward instead of anything else, this way lovey, our son, and I are settled down in some ways at home.

Would there be another idea we could possibly do? I really don't feel like seeing people as -soon- as I get out of the hospital.

Edit: It would be myself, and my mother in law planning it I'm sure. My mother doesn't exactly care, nor makes an effort to do anything unless it's for her. So we know she's not planning a baby shower, or anything at all. ( Her fourth, or third as others would say, grandchild, lovey's parent's second, or "first". My father lives in a completely different state, but I don't want him in my life either. Haven't contacted him for a long time. Rest of my family doesn't do that either. )

 

[Ckelley]

I think that sounds like a good idea. Allow you and your family to get settled a bit and then have it. It will also give you time to register and find out what you want and need.

 

[hopettc3]

I think its a great idea! Its a bit early for us to start our planning, but we will most likely plan something like that. Its nice that DH's parents are kind enough to help you organize it. Good luck!

 

[Sinclair]

Lovey's parents are wonderful, completely. Lol, complete opposite of what I'm used to. I was wondering if others would see it as odd because this is our first baby that we can hold and such and wasn't sure if it would be a completely off the wall idea instead of holding a baby shower.

 

[hopettc3]

I don't think its odd especially when you had so many issues with your wedding. It seems like more and more people are doing sip and sees. It just seems to make more sense.

 

[Sinclair]

I suppose so, lol. I just don't want people to tell us that they're "entitled" to be invited to things, even this has me a little worried.

 

[sojourn]

I adore the sip and see approach. I am a huge fan.

We're doing that because my husband's friends and family live far away and since they aren't *my* friends totally, it would have been weird for them to drive 5 hours for my baby shower. People love babies, it's not the same as a wedding, I would just invite everyone and not stress out about it.

We're doing kind of an open house style where anyone can come. We will do some finger foods and drinks and be done with it.

Way better than an awkward shower or whatever.

 

[Sinclair]

I understand it's not the same as a wedding, but the people we know can be demanding, even the ones in the family.

I'm not even sure if I'd want to do an "open house" kinda thing simply because lovey and I were married, we're not divorced. ( Long story short, it was about a year before we got back together. ) And even then some of them still cast comments ( "lolletshaveanotherdivorceparty", etc ) and some of them have been accepting.

And also live in more of a country area compared to the city where everyone else lives, a few people on my side of the family even like to ask for rides. ( example: my mother comments about my lovey giving her a ride to the hospital when I'm in labor. We both looked at her and shook our heads, lovey's not going anywhere. Mother lives about 45 minutes or so from us, probably about 30 minutes or so from hospital. ) So it makes me a little uneasy about openly inviting everyone. :\ Sounds weird and stuff, but I'm not completely sure where to go from there.

It's kinda like more like "people who can get there," and stuff really I suppose... ( Guess it sounds like an open house, though, like you, some of the people I distaste for their comments about my relationship with lovey. I just keep silent about it. )

I make everything sound so much complex than it is probably, and I realize I sound... Odd for even sayin' some things.

 

[sojourn]

I understand it's not the same as a wedding, but the people we know can be demanding, even the ones in the family.

I'm not even sure if I'd want to do an "open house" kinda thing simply because lovey and I were married, we're not divorced. ( Long story short, it was about a year before we got back together. ) And even then some of them still cast comments ( "lolletshaveanotherdivorceparty", etc ) and some of them have been accepting.

And also live in more of a country area compared to the city where everyone else lives, a few people on my side of the family even like to ask for rides. ( example: my mother comments about my lovey giving her a ride to the hospital when I'm in labor. We both looked at her and shook our heads, lovey's not going anywhere. Mother lives about 45 minutes or so from us, probably about 30 minutes or so from hospital. ) So it makes me a little uneasy about openly inviting everyone. :\ Sounds weird and stuff, but I'm not completely sure where to go from there.

It's kinda like more like "people who can get there," and stuff really I suppose... ( Guess it sounds like an open house, though, like you, some of the people I distaste for their comments about my relationship with lovey. I just keep silent about it. )

I make everything sound so much complex than it is probably, and I realize I sound... Odd for even sayin' some things.

Oh I get complex.
My husband and I are both the children of divorced parents. At the time of our wedding his dad AND brother were in jail, bro is still in prison. His mom is mentally ill and bounces between facilities and institutions. They have often hit us up for rides, money and whatever. Mom hates me and tells me all the time I ruined her life.
We invite those people to things, but make zero effort to help them get there. (/sometimes I'll send them really late invites "on accident")
That usually weeds out the worst of it.

Definitely don't invite people that suck. If they bitch, I'd be like "Oh, sorry. We invited people who are celebrating our life and family. Based on your usual attitude, I didn't think you'd be interested"(I am also a super-blunt jerk)

 

[Sinclair]

Completely horrible, and totally get where you're coming from, but totally love the last part for sure. Sounds like something I'd say to lovey in private.