Being alone in labor

[maggz]

Hey so worst case DH will be at sea when little one is born, and I don't have anyone around that I want to ask to be with me. MIL lives about an hour away and I know she would love to be there, but we are not close and I just can't imagine having anyone there but DH (maybe my mom or sister if they were here).

So I'm just wondering, has anyone experienced being alone throughout labor and delivery? I'm seriously considering it as an option and am thinking how awful it might or might not be.

 

[mummytobe_93]

I was alone during early stages of labour at home for 24 hours and alone in hospitlw up until just before pushing as my partner had only just made it.

Honestly, at home it was horrible being in labour by myself. I didn't know what to do and I felt like I needed reassurnace for someone being there. Do you have a way to get to the hospital?

But in the hospital I was fine, midwives were always with me so I was chatting away and pretty relaxed. And too out of it and tired to care.

Obviously I was glad when Oh got there. But I don't think its the worst thing in the world to be alone if you have a supportive midwife Etc to be there in a replacement of a partner.


Do you not have any friends? Even for the early labour part for support at home? It is long and painful and I think having someone's support is key to keeping you going in those early, long stages x

 

[maggz]

Thanks. I have a couple of friends here that I know would come in a heartbeat but I guess I just also feel self conscious about asking and being so vulnerable in front of someone else.

DH's brother lives with us so I would probably ask him to take me to the hospital, or drive myself depending on when I decide to go. The hospital is only 3 minutes away from our house.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I was alone for a lot of my labour, I was in hospital and after a little while I called for the MW who came and spent a few minutes with me to check me and establish I was in labour, then went to call L&D to let them know I'd be moving across in a bit. Came back when I was 6cm and took me over to L&D and from then on I had a MW with me the whole time. I found the time when I was totally alone the worst as I got a bit panicked as labour progressed quite quickly and I worried something would go wrong and no one would be there to help. Once I had a MW there I was fine. DH finally arrived while I was pushing. The MW's hadn't been able to get hold of him (he had his phone on silent and 2 MW's ended up driving to our house when their shift ended to wake him up ) and asked if I wanted anyone else called to be there with me but I found I didn't want or need anyone else, it just didn't appeal and I didn't want to be distracted. DH was there for some of the pushing and saw DS being born which I was pleased about but I would have been fine alone.

 

[george83]

I went through early labour with my first on my own. I found that part ok and coped well at home. I had my mum and sister come over later on which I was glad about as I wasn't confident at deciding when to go to hospital (The midwife on the phone actually told me to stay at home but luckily my sister insisted we went in as baby was born just 45 minutes after we got there). At the hospital I wasn't really focused on who was there and who wasn't it was more just concentrating on what the midwife said.

With ds2 my oh was there but I hated it. He genuinely moaned I hurt his hand, got moody if I left him to speak to somebody when I was having a contraction, and took the mickey out of me for wiggling my toes which was helping with the pain. When it came to actually delivering the baby I didn't want him to see anything and couldn't relax at all at the thought that he might. If it was up to me I would rather be alone this time but know I can't stop him being there.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I went through early labour with my first on my own. I found that part ok and coped well at home. I had my mum and sister come over later on which I was glad about as I wasn't confident at deciding when to go to hospital (The midwife on the phone actually told me to stay at home but luckily my sister insisted we went in as baby was born just 45 minutes after we got there). At the hospital I wasn't really focused on who was there and who wasn't it was more just concentrating on what the midwife said.

With ds2 my oh was there but I hated it. He genuinely moaned I hurt his hand, got moody if I left him to speak to somebody when I was having a contraction, and took the mickey out of me for wiggling my toes which was helping with the pain. When it came to actually delivering the baby I didn't want him to see anything and couldn't relax at all at the thought that he might. If it was up to me I would rather be alone this time but know I can't stop him being there.

Oof that would drive me mad! My mum jokes that she took a fly swat to hospital with her for her 2nd birth and used it to train my dad to behave- I'm not sure whether she is joking or not haha but it could be worth a try

 

[Hangin_On_AGS]

I will be alone probably as well. Dh will be at Annual Training right around my due date and my family who is close will have to take care of dd. Oh the joys of being a military so

 

[Googiepie]

My ex was with me during labor and delivery with my first. Honestly, I didn't even really notice him there when I was giving birth lol. Including him, there were 8 people in the room. This time around im gonna be by myself. I have someone watching little one. My sister is 21 weeks pregnant plus has a 3 year old, she's also too squimish. She'd probably pass out lol. Not really comfortable asking anyone else.

 

[rosegarden620]

I can't speak from experience on birthing alone- although it doesn't sound to bad when thinking about it, sometimes I wish it were just me and DH (and not my mom and his mom) but I can speak from being my mothers daughter.

My mom had to give birth alone for my sister (we three have the same father but he didn't officially stay with my mom until the boy, my little brother was born.

Perhaps it was the circumstance , but she called it one of the most depressing time/yet happy of her life. It was a somber mood, is what she had explained it as. She was alone through the whole process but what was harder to take was the time after my sister was born.

My mom is really emotional and sentimental. I'm sure that doesn't help lol

 

[maggz]

With ds2 my oh was there but I hated it. He genuinely moaned I hurt his hand, got moody if I left him to speak to somebody when I was having a contraction, and took the mickey out of me for wiggling my toes which was helping with the pain. When it came to actually delivering the baby I didn't want him to see anything and couldn't relax at all at the thought that he might. If it was up to me I would rather be alone this time but know I can't stop him being there.

Gosh I would kick him out! He's supposed to be your advocate during that time!

I will be alone probably as well. Dh will be at Annual Training right around my due date and my family who is close will have to take care of dd. Oh the joys of being a military so

Tell me about it :/ This underway was added a month ago and they still can't decide if they need him for it or not! Urgh it drives me crazy how they can't stick to plans AT ALL.

My ex was with me during labor and delivery with my first. Honestly, I didn't even really notice him there when I was giving birth lol. Including him, there were 8 people in the room. This time around im gonna be by myself. I have someone watching little one. My sister is 21 weeks pregnant plus has a 3 year old, she's also too squimish. She'd probably pass out lol. Not really comfortable asking anyone else.

8 people is a lot! I guess my issue is also I don't like being so vulnerable in front of others. I don't want them to see me like that. I guess I'm too private.

I can't speak from experience on birthing alone- although it doesn't sound to bad when thinking about it, sometimes I wish it were just me and DH (and not my mom and his mom) but I can speak from being my mothers daughter.

My mom had to give birth alone for my sister (we three have the same father but he didn't officially stay with my mom until the boy, my little brother was born.

Perhaps it was the circumstance , but she called it one of the most depressing time/yet happy of her life. It was a somber mood, is what she had explained it as. She was alone through the whole process but what was harder to take was the time after my sister was born.

My mom is really emotional and sentimental. I'm sure that doesn't help lol

I bet it's probably not the labor and delivery that are the hardest part about being alone, but rather afterwards. When you're overjoyed about your little one but also sad that you don't have anyone to share that with. I know my in laws will be there as soon as I call, and also my DH's cousin and his wife, and a couple of my friends, but none of them are close to me in a way that I can just let go and I guess... be myself? Does that make sense? I don't know maybe I'm being too dramatic about the whole thing, but it just feels awful. I hope it won't come to this, I'd feel so incredibly alone.

 

[Googiepie]

With ds2 my oh was there but I hated it. He genuinely moaned I hurt his hand, got moody if I left him to speak to somebody when I was having a contraction, and took the mickey out of me for wiggling my toes which was helping with the pain. When it came to actually delivering the baby I didn't want him to see anything and couldn't relax at all at the thought that he might. If it was up to me I would rather be alone this time but know I can't stop him being there.

Gosh I would kick him out! He's supposed to be your advocate during that time!

I will be alone probably as well. Dh will be at Annual Training right around my due date and my family who is close will have to take care of dd. Oh the joys of being a military so

Tell me about it :/ This underway was added a month ago and they still can't decide if they need him for it or not! Urgh it drives me crazy how they can't stick to plans AT ALL.

My ex was with me during labor and delivery with my first. Honestly, I didn't even really notice him there when I was giving birth lol. Including him, there were 8 people in the room. This time around im gonna be by myself. I have someone watching little one. My sister is 21 weeks pregnant plus has a 3 year old, she's also too squimish. She'd probably pass out lol. Not really comfortable asking anyone else.

8 people is a lot! I guess my issue is also I don't like being so vulnerable in front of others. I don't want them to see me like that. I guess I'm too private.

I can't speak from experience on birthing alone- although it doesn't sound to bad when thinking about it, sometimes I wish it were just me and DH (and not my mom and his mom) but I can speak from being my mothers daughter.

My mom had to give birth alone for my sister (we three have the same father but he didn't officially stay with my mom until the boy, my little brother was born.

Perhaps it was the circumstance , but she called it one of the most depressing time/yet happy of her life. It was a somber mood, is what she had explained it as. She was alone through the whole process but what was harder to take was the time after my sister was born.

My mom is really emotional and sentimental. I'm sure that doesn't help lol

I bet it's probably not the labor and delivery that are the hardest part about being alone, but rather afterwards. When you're overjoyed about your little one but also sad that you don't have anyone to share that with. I know my in laws will be there as soon as I call, and also my DH's cousin and his wife, and a couple of my friends, but none of them are close to me in a way that I can just let go and I guess... be myself? Does that make sense? I don't know maybe I'm being too dramatic about the whole thing, but it just feels awful. I hope it won't come to this, I'd feel so incredibly alone.

I should mention that the 7 other people were nurses and doctors. It was crazy. I had two nurses, two students, my doctor, the hospital doctor and the doctor using the forceps.

 

[LuckyMama13]

I will be alone this time around as well. My mom passed away a couple of years ago and she was always with me along with my husband and my best friend. So I don't have my Mom, my friend has her own baby to be with, and my husband is in another country. And there isn't another "friend" I would ask to be with me since they are all vain and would probably take selfies in the delivery room and I'd have to kill someone...

 

[maggz]

Hahaha sorry but I laughed at your selfie comment! That would drive me mad as well. Sorry about your mom
We'll get through this one way or another.

 

[fordy]

Popping over from 2nd Tri, I've had 5 previous births before this one and my 1st I had my mum two sisters and a cousin (was terrible) second I had just my mum (terrible) 3rd I had two sisters and my mum (terrible) and 5th was my DH and sister ( terrible) but for number 4 I just my DH and to me honestly it was the best labour experience I've ever had just me and him bringing our lil man into the world!!! This baby I'm asking the same just me and him

 

[Zephram]

I don't think I'd be that bothered by being in labour alone, to be honest! As long I was getting regularly checked by my midwife. With my first my OH was sick with a really bad cold at the time and was actually next to useless. After I got the epidural he actually went to sleep in the chair! And he kept moaning about how he felt like crap. Like, hello, mister! I'm actually having a baby here, keep your problems to yourself!

 

[mum140381]

i have done it on my own its fine you will cope better than you think x