Benefits - NOT ENTITLED TO ANYTHING! :(

[Dani_Ldn]

Mat Allowance, as much as it is better than nothing is not very much money at all. I would keep it quiet from him for the moment. It sucks that you have to resort to keeping this from him, but he def sounds like the kind of guy who will use any excuse not to have to part with 'his' money.

Am glad you were able to get Mat Allowance sorted, it must be a fair bit of weight off your shoulders!

 

[Lovemybump1]

Can't believe some of the men are like "I earnt it so it's my money!".

Me and dh earn totally different amounts (usually I earn over double what he earns, but when I'm on mat leave he will be earning more than me). What we always do is keep a small amount each in our personal accounts (£50 a month) and the rest goes into the joint for bills. If there is anything left over then it goes into joint savings. What we each do with our £50 is our business but we both earn to feed our family not as individuals.

 

[mellylou88]

I've decided that I'm going to keep it quiet from him till baby arrives and see if he steps up and changes his thoughts on his money (if not least I know I can spend a little and save a little) peace of mind knowing that my unborn son will least have me to rely on, I do feel guilty keeping it a secret for the time being but he has put me in that situation!

 

[Mum2BKW]

My hubbie is doing his PHD and earns no money at all. He has savings from when he did work and has been living on that, while I pay the mortgage and all the bills. We don't have a joint account just because we've never bothered to set one up, but if he needs extra cash I'll transfer some over for him.

When I go on maternity leave we'll have a few tight months and then hopefully he'll finish the PHD and find work, at which point it will swap over - he will pay the mortgage and bills and I will live on my SMP and ask him for extra cash if I need.

I really don't understand the 'my money' concept. As far as we are concerned, whoevers account the money comes from it all comes from the same 'pot'. The only time I could see it being relevant (though I hate to say it) is if you weren't 100% committed to your partner and wanted to keep your money to yourself so you could walk away at any time. Otherwise, who cares who pays for what as long as between you there is enough to cover what you need?

 

[mellylou88]

I agree, I feel like he doesn't trust me so he doesn't want to help me out money wise, which has made me think well why should I be the one responsible for what our son will need it is a joint effort.

I see money as our money for our present and future, just hope he does see things my way sooner rather than later.

 

[Foxybabyhg3]

I know you're right in thinking its fraud in claiming as single, but technically you are! I would say this to him too! if he's not willing to contribute then he should be looking to get out of your parents house and you can let the CSA chase him. So sorry you're having to stress about money whilst being pregnant. At least the SMP will help you out

 

[mellylou88]

It is just shocking how the goverment think it's ok for pregnant women to stress out over these things as if we haven't got enough running through our heads

 

[Willow87]

I can't BELIEVE how you are letting this man just walk all over you! He lives with you right? He doesn't want to be financially responsible for THE BABY.. How old is he 12? What good is he for then really? You would be MUCH better off financially without that scumbag. He doesn't sound committed to you at allllll. A MAN would step up and help his family no matter what.

I must be married to a god because my husband would never EVER treat me in that matter. He already works 6 days a week to provide for us and has never once made me feel like crap for it. why? because he is a MAN.

The fact that you have to lie to him about your maternity allowance speaks in such high volumes. This relationship is so doomed.

 

[mellylou88]

I completely agree with you, this is why I get so stressed out.

I have made him fully aware that if he doesn't step up to the mark to be there for me and our child then the door will be opened and he will be kicked out of it.

When I found out I was pregnant I told him that I wasn't sure if I was ready for this but I wouldn't dream of getting rid of baby, he was adamant that he would love and support us both. Hopefully he will realise this before it's to late!

 

[PrincessJJ]

I've decided that I'm going to keep it quiet from him till baby arrives and see if he steps up and changes his thoughts on his money (if not least I know I can spend a little and save a little) peace of mind knowing that my unborn son will least have me to rely on, I do feel guilty keeping it a secret for the time being but he has put me in that situation!

I'm in pretty much the same situation work/money wise although OH has been amazing and worked all the hours he can possibly have and put all money in joint account & Iv paid all our bills from this n we've saved the rest for various things.

Can I be cheeky and ask how much MA you are getting? As Iv just applied and am waiting to hear back xxx

 

[Jcliff]

its terrible in the USA, I cant even discuss it without getting angry. There is no help for people like me, my husband and I have good jobs, work our ASSES off, we dont make MUCH money, but make too much to receive any assistance. It seems the less you try, the more help you get. Its ridiculous. I feel my blood pressure rise just thinking about it.

 

[Joss_Taylor]

I have been working for a year and a half at my job and I'm not entitled to any sort of leave or pay! Nothing! And I even work in the medical field! The only kind of pay I will be getting is if I quit I'll get the vacation time that I have earned but I have to quit or I won't even be entitled to that. It's complete crap!