Bf being a jerk

[bubbness]

Hiya ladies! Can I vent for a minute?! Anyone else's bf acting as if their life isn't about to change at all? For the past 3 months he's been going out every weekend (until well past midnite) drinking and partying with his friends and gets all bitchy when I complain that he's never at home. I'm 14 weeks now and I need him to be with me!!! Is this wrong?

 

[LucyEmma]

I would be the same in fact if it was me i would of reacted alot worse! lol your dealing with it well bless you, that is not fair at all...maybe (I know men are a pain to talk to!) try sitting down and talking about how you feel with him and ask if you can have some time to explaine how your feeling and how you need him around at the moment not out on the town all the time. hope you get it sorted hun xx

 

[bubbness]

lol, i did try to talk to him and he said (and i quote) I've been through this already (he has a 10 yr old daughter at home). Excuse me?! I HAVEN'T been through this, support me!!!! I'm about to kick his butt to the curb if he doesn't shape up.

 

[h702]

could he be going out now while he can before the baby arrives? just a thought, but its still pretty inconsiderate if your not happy with him doing it

 

[bubbness]

I think that is what he is doing but why does he have to EVERY weekend? I know my hormones are raging and I can be a bit of a but still! lol Guess I will give him more time and then ground him or something.

 

[LucyEmma]

lol, i did try to talk to him and he said (and i quote) I've been through this already (he has a 10 yr old daughter at home). Excuse me?! I HAVEN'T been through this, support me!!!! I'm about to kick his butt to the curb if he doesn't shape up.

ohh men think they know it all dont they!! ahhh drives me crazy! lol
hes beening really incocederate and i dont think you need to give him anymore time, he may be wanting to go out but i would tell him he has responsibilities now and he cant be doing it every weekend because its just not fair on you...you are being really good to let him get away with it lol wayyyy more patience than i have

 

[Tsia]

well mine doesnt even want the baby. He has been an arse right from the word go!
weve been together 6 years and planned all this in 2 years ish anyways so I dont see his problem but he ays hes not ready.

Not ready? 6 years?? I'm 30 he is 38!! neither have kids! its not like we are both 16!

But they are men. .. I think its their coping mechanism!! (carry on as normal) but they just dont get it!

I have been told my OH will come round. AT the moment he cant connect with what I am feeling going on inside me. I have to hide the baby bargains I bought.. YES I BOUGHT.. he doesnt give me a penny.. and not mention it.. whats the most upsetting is he wont come near my bump.
in fact I need a councillor!

But I am suffering in silence HOPING he will come round like everyones said.. even his mum is more excited than he is!

She asks me how I am.. he doesnt.
He is carrying on just a normal.. booking 3 day aways with his mates the month after baby's due date!

Fine I think.. get on with it. but he'll have a shock in august an wonder why he didnt bother being involved in the pregnancy when it was there.

 

[golcarlilly]

Not at all wrong hun - he helped you to make the baby after all!! Just keep on at him and maybe the realisation will sink in!!

I got mad with my DH the other night cos he announced he was going to start learning to play the saxaphone (after watching Britains got talent!) I mean when the hell does he think he is going to get time to do that with a new baby and has he not considered the noise it will make - for god's sake!!!!

 

[LucyEmma]

Not at all wrong hun - he helped you to make the baby after all!! Just keep on at him and maybe the realisation will sink in!!

I got mad with my DH the other night cos he announced he was going to start learning to play the saxaphone (after watching Britains got talent!) I mean when the hell does he think he is going to get time to do that with a new baby and has he not considered the noise it will make - for god's sake!!!!

OMG haha my OH said excatly the same thing!
strange things men arent they haha!

 

[MishC]

Tsia - I dunno how you haven't walked out on him yet. I know i wouldn't be able to put up wuth that like you do he needs to be shocked, properly.

 

[Tsia]

Tsia - I dunno how you haven't walked out on him yet. I know i wouldn't be able to put up wuth that like you do he needs to be shocked, properly.

nor do i MishC.. but I get on with things like nothings happening and keep telling myself it will get better.

In all fairness it is getting better.. but very very slowly. This week is better than last etc etc.. but at this rate he will have a HUGE shock in August!!

I think he is just scared.. scared of the unknown.

To be honest.. walking out wouldnt do anyone any favours.. and wont help matters.. he is a stubbourn a$$hole.. and will pretend not to be bothered.

I have to play him at his own game.. and pretend I am not bothered that he isnt making efforts.. cos in the end.. I WILL WIN.. There WILL be a baby.. and he'll have to accept it fully then when its staring him in the face! He says he wants to comes to scans and be at birth etc.. so that tells me he is just scared of the responsibility.. and isnt quite right in his own head to face up to the realness of what August will be just yet! lol

 

[MishC]

He's such a prick, sorry but he is. He's 38 years old he's not a child he needs to get a grip on the situation especially as it was planned.

I don't mean to say this to scare you but what if he doesn't come round to it and decides to walk because he can't deal with it. He sounds like such a coward and like this is something he could be capable of.

It's pathetic! Your 24 weeks pregnant and he's acting as if its a big game and adding stress to you and your child which is un necessary.

I can't believe how well your keeping it together i know i wouldn't be able to i'm not that patient.

 

[golcarlilly]

Not at all wrong hun - he helped you to make the baby after all!! Just keep on at him and maybe the realisation will sink in!!

I got mad with my DH the other night cos he announced he was going to start learning to play the saxaphone (after watching Britains got talent!) I mean when the hell does he think he is going to get time to do that with a new baby and has he not considered the noise it will make - for god's sake!!!!

OMG haha my OH said excatly the same thing!
strange things men arent they haha!

I bet the sales of sax's have rocketed

 

[LucyEmma]

Not at all wrong hun - he helped you to make the baby after all!! Just keep on at him and maybe the realisation will sink in!!

I got mad with my DH the other night cos he announced he was going to start learning to play the saxaphone (after watching Britains got talent!) I mean when the hell does he think he is going to get time to do that with a new baby and has he not considered the noise it will make - for god's sake!!!!

OMG haha my OH said excatly the same thing!
strange things men arent they haha!

I bet the sales of sax's have rocketed

he was rather good though!

 

[misswren]

I don't know how you put up with it either Tsia - I haven't heard anything from my ex since I wished him a happy birthday in March and he said the book I had sent was being recycled and never to contact him again....charming eh? Now he is 'ina relationship' with someone according to my friends who still have him on facebook (I don't as he deleted me the day I told him I couldn't cope mentally with an abortion).

Men.

Grrrr.

 

[Tsia]

sod em.. thats what I say.

I am well prepared if he still cant face things when Baby is here. I have a house I rent out.. so I will just have to get a tenant kicked outta there and I will move in. No biggy..

But he will have to live with the fact that he was a twat to kick out his long term GF and his baby. His mum wouldnt be impressed.. she told me to go live with her! errrr .. even tho we get on.. nah think I'll pass on that one. lol
At one point I was toying with the idea to go live near or with my mum in lanzarote! or my dad in london.. theres always options.

 

[djgirl1976]

Wow...all you girls dealing with the nights out, weekends away, saxaphone buying, I seriously don't know how you do it. DH is comforting me in all my insecurities ATM, and still I am a royal bitch!

 

[cinnamongirl]

OMG, I feel for u ladies! You have much more patience than I! I would've flipped out!

Men are strange creatures, and fear can be debilitating! Fear is the reason why my OH didn't want more children (and I wanted to be a mother desperately)...but, he came round eventually when he realized how selfish and immature he was being.

My girlfriend recently gave birth, and the whole time they were TTC, her hubby was all about baby, but when she did get he went crazy! He was so scared that he really treated my friend like crap the whole pregnancy! She was so upset, as they were also newlyweds, and she wondered if she had made a mistake, but when the baby was born, he changed completely! It is awful that he put her thru that, but he absolutely fell in love with baby and became the awesome father my friend always thought he'd be!

So, I know it's shitty, but maybe they will change their tunes once they look into the face of the being they helped create!

Best of luck ladies!