Birth phobia is crippling me with anxiety....

[karlilay]

I have got such a phobia of giving birth. I don't know why really as I've had 'textbook' pregnancy and births. But I really can't cope with the thought of going through it again. I've tried to talk to the midwife with very little support, and my friends had her third yesterday and it's just set it all off so bad.
I find myself praying most days the baby is breach or something is wrong and I have to have a section. I would do anything for a section

 

[biscuits104]

Awww, I'm so sorry to hear this. I have absolutely no experience giving birth, this is my first. We are attending Bradley method classes to help cope and prepare. Is there something like this you could go to? Perhaps even talking to a counselor/psychiatrist would help?

 

[havefaith01]

I know how you feel! Mine is just opposite. I've had 2 c-sections and this will be my 3rd. I don't know why I'm so scared of it! I want to try natural birth, but haven't gotten the ok on it yet. What about this time is bothering you the most?

 

[Marumi]

I'm so scared of another C-Section...it wrecked my health for years and in ways not even imaginable... I just want a natural birth so my hormones and body don't get thrown off again.

Maybe they can do something about the pain for you? I am doing Yoga right now to get the baby in an optimal position, which is also supposed to hurt less and result into an easier birth. I eat Paleo and heard much about Paleo birth's being so much easier. I really hope so

A good midwife should also be able to help with pain management during birth with the right breathing techniques or positions...like birthing sitting up, squatting or on all fours instead of being on the back or side.

 

[laila 44]

Maybe u can go speak to someone? Just to get it out there. I really don't think you should worry as worry is usually because of the unknown and you've given birth before so it's nothing new. However a phobia is something we can't control so it would help u a lot to just speak with someone so that u can be better prepared on your big day xx

 

[CharCharxxx]

Is it the pain your worried about Hun or the whole thing? X

 

[xSweetTartx]

I think the most important thing no matter what your method is to remain calm through it all.

However, if you are overly stressed about it, talk to a doctor or whoever is currently in charge of your birth. Anxiety and stress raises your heart rate and effects your baby as well. It's possible that they would give you a section to avoid that. It's worth a try anyway if you feel that strongly.

 

[Natasha2605]

Can't you have an elective section if that is what you really want? I thought you could choose to have a section now with the NHS.

Massive xx

 

[freckleonear]

Have you ever looked into hypnobirthing? The courses are expensive but I highly recommend Katharine Grave's hypnobirthing book: https://www.kghypnobirthing.com/books.html.

 

[missbabes]

Can't you have an elective section if that is what you really want? I thought you could choose to have a section now with the NHS.

Massive xx

Elective c-sections on the NHS are still only under certain circumstances. For example if you've had a c-section previously, or when baby is breech near due date, or any other possible life threatening conditions.

The anxiety one is near enough always dealt with by speaking about it, to try and get people over their fears. It's only offered as a last resort.

 

[Misscalais]

What exactly are you afraid of? The whole process, just the contractions? Just the pushing?
If you can talk about it, what your fear is and what you can do to help ease that fear than i think you will feel more calm about it.
I'm not keen to do it again, i was absolutely stoked right after my last birth that id never have to go through it again lol it was my hardest and most painful birth ( he was back to back ) so i will have to do some relaxation techniques myself for my fears and keeping everything crossed this baby will not turn back to back.
Big hugs!

 

[EarthMama]

Relaxation is KEY to a peaceful birth! Just relax, go limp during your contractions, imagine yourself opening up, just float away...I had an ecstatic birth last time with my daughter and all I focused on was relaxation...

...and yes I'm nervous about going through it again too! But again...relaxation is key.

 

[m0mmyCool]

I'm terrified of having a 3rd c-section. Actually more terrified that I will contract beforehand because I was told my uterus was very thin after my last C which makes it a higher risk of rupture. I try not to think about it but it freaks me out.

 

[NZKiwi]

Labour/birth anxiety is a very real thing. I suggest seeing a counsellor for anxiety, they should be able to work through it with you and give you coping mechanisms. If your midwife isn't listening then go see your gp for a recommendation. Also do you have the option of changing MW? Or do you just get assigned one? Here in NZ mws are govt funded but we are allowed to choose who we have and get a new one if we don't get along with them/ feel supported by them. Its so important that you like and trust your mw. Good luck x

 

[karlilay]

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been back on.
I'm fine with the contractions, I managed to stay home both times before and was fully dilated when I got to hospital. But pushing just absolutely freaks me out. I pretty much refused to push last time because I knew what was coming and the midwife went mental at me, so was Jonny and I just screamed lol.
I would feel 100% better if I knew I could have an epi. That's all I wanted both other times, and was refused. I just want to feel in control. The whole birth process leaves me so traumatised I don't bond with the babies very well at all. I didn't want anything to do with Madi really

 

[jstarr]

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been back on.
I'm fine with the contractions, I managed to stay home both times before and was fully dilated when I got to hospital. But pushing just absolutely freaks me out. I pretty much refused to push last time because I knew what was coming and the midwife went mental at me, so was Jonny and I just screamed lol.
I would feel 100% better if I knew I could have an epi. That's all I wanted both other times, and was refused. I just want to feel in control. The whole birth process leaves me so traumatised I don't bond with the babies very well at all. I didn't want anything to do with Madi really

The thing is the more 'out of control' you are ie. The more your body is doing on its own the better. What is it that freaked you out about the pushing before? Did yo have to push for a long time or was it the feeling? I was scared of birth with my second as my first was an awful labour, I read the Sophie fletcher mindful hypnobirthing book and watched/read a lot of Ina may gaskin talking about birth. It left me feeling like I could trust my body and confident in my ability and I had a brilliant birth. X

 

[campn]

Don't listen to stories of your freshly birthed ladies, being in that situation maximizes all their senses so much so they experience it all much worse than it really was.

I completely understand having fears though, my birth was pretty painful as my epidural stopped at the pushing part but I'm not worried about this now, I'm more worried of the recovery (ouch) and have lots of breastfeeding fears cause my DS wouldn't latch for his first 6 weeks.

We all have fears and it's all very normal but I'd talk about it more with a friend who listens!

 

[claireybell]

You should ask to be referred to a consultant hun, they listen to everything & if it comes to it you are allowed an elective section, my sister sent me a link, il post below for you, hugs x

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Caesarean-section/Pages/Introduction.aspx

 

[karlilay]

Thanks everyone. I have got my head around it a bit more but still cant pack my hospital bag etc because it makes it all a bit real and then i panic. Not really sure how to get over it. Midwife down plays it every time i see her, but i have an appt next week and will mention it again.

I have anxiety pretty badly a lot of the time and im just worried to death im gunna get PND from the birth...

 

[October9]

Do you have a mental health nurse at hospital you're going to? If you do the number should be in your notes in the number directory or you can ring the hospital. I have mild general anxiety which I mentioned at my booking in app, and the midwife showed me the number and said I could ring or even just Text to speak to them. Maybe worth looking into as they wont down play your fears x