birth stories and thrid tri

[purpledahlia]

I just went and had a look in third tri, and the titles of a lot of the thread SCARED the HELL out of me.... really scared.. anyone else??

i decided to leave... went to birth announcements,

read two birth stories and im now in floods of tears.......

i dont know if its just because im happy for them and it was all nice and lovely to read.. or if its general FEAR scaring the living daylights outta me....

how the hell am i gonna manage birth...

 

[jenny82]

I've nosied in there and tbh it doesn't scare me too much. I can't wait to be in there! Everything will be a lot more real though...

 

[purpledahlia]

im just terrified of giving birth.. it is all hitting me now. i dunno how to do it!! im kinda glad the fob is in touch now, maybe he will surprise me and be there and be supportive..

 

[embo216]

I think everyone is terrified of giving birth for the first time! You can try and prepare yourself but at the end of the day nothing is ever enough to prepare you! It's just something you have to do - but it's not like your doing it for nothing, you'll have your beautiful baby in your arms at the end of the day

There's lots of choices for you hun- epidural's, gas and air, pethadine, water births

I prepared myself for the absolute worse labor so when it came to it I wasn't dissapointed. Giving birth to my little girl has to be the most beautiful experiences of my life and the proudest moment was holding her knowing I'd made this perfect little person Don't get me wrong it hurts a lot! But I could manage the pain pretty well with gas and air and concentrating on my breathing. xxx

 

[anothersquish]

Birth really isnt scary, honest! I think the less you know potentially the more scared you can be.
How about getting to watch some births on video? You will notice there are many more smooth and happy births than there are those that dont go to plan, however the more you see the more prepared you will feel to cope with however your own birthing experience goes.
Be informed of the choices you can make, if it helps you start writing your birth plan, consider what you want and what you would rather avoid. Watch and read about as many births as possible and remember that whatever happens in that very short space of time (comparitively!!) you will have a beautiful baby at the end of it.

 

[purpledahlia]

Everyone keeps saying that no amount of preparation or classes can prepare you, i guess ill just have to see what happens. its just so scary, im worried ill have a panic attack or something then my breathing just wont work. I honestly think id rather just have a section, planned, date, in, out, at home for 6 weeks after, and then get on with it. :S my mum had 3 sections with no labour i feel like shes lucky - even though i know they are painfull too!

whyyy am i crying from the birth stories??? anything is setting me off these days!

 

[anothersquish]

Actually I think you can be very prepared. I felt prepared when I went into labour. I knew what to expect, how long I could realistically expect to be in labour for. I knew my options and knew basically how I wanted things to go but reminded myself to be open incase things needed to change (they did, babys HB needed to be constantly monitored so I didnt get a water birth).
I did watch HOURS of births and I did read a LOT about birth and labour, even though my first labour experience was a premmie who later died and I was very young I am glad I was prepared else I think it would have made me completely terrified of any future experience, as it happens although it was a bad experience I went on to have a positive full term labour and birth. Again I felt prepared, not becuase of past experience but because I spent time reading and watching and understanding what my body was going to do.
So i think the "nothing can prepare you" isnt entirelly accurate !!!

 

[purpledahlia]

well im not gonna listen to that anymore then cos it doesnt help when people say that to me!!! I dont have any books and cant really afford to go buying lots so i guess is there lots of info online ?? I know the hospital ill have to give birth in but ive still to move home, need to register with a new mw and gp and *hope theyre as nice as the ones i have here. Then start to talk about birth plan... just no point here since im moving and i think that contributes so the sheer amount of fear i have. Im not scared about being alone, or being a single mum, or being poor, or anything else, but physically having the baby... makes my heart stop for a second. I cant wait to meet her and see what she is like and looks like, and look after her and all the rest, but im very apprehensive about HOW shes gonna get out!!

ps sorry to hear about yout preemie xx

 

[Babybug]

This is my logic
Millions of women all over the world go on to have more than one baby through choice, if it realy is that bad they wouldnt would they.

 

[anothersquish]

There is a lot of info online, go and have a look. Id highly reccomend you read a factual explaination of exactly what your body is up too during the stages of labour, give yourself a chance to understand what will be happening rather than just going along for the ride, fear is usually something we feel about something that we dont know, once we understand something we are much less frightened by it. There are many places online you will also be able to watch video or follow a series of still pictures of women during birth in various situations from water birth to standing birth to C Section.
Get yourself involved in looking at what pain releif options are avaliable to you (these are fairly standard so doesnt matter what hospital you wil be at) and read about them in depth to decide what you might like or not like.
You can start to sketch out your own ideas for a birth plan, dont need to wait til you are where you will be when you give birth. Its about you being clear in your mind what you would like and knowing what to expect to the best of your ability.
Taking a bit more control and understanding will help take you a long way towards not being so scared anymore, I promise!

 

[Kirstin]

While I was TTC I used to read the birth stories to try and prepare me but now if I read them I'm verging on a panic attack knowing in 3 months its going to happen and I'm going to have to do it I'm SCARED

 

[Jolinar]

Maybe I'm weird but I love those stories I find them uplifting, positive and full of joy at bring a new life into the world. Positive thinking will go a long way to making it all seem less scary, anything unknown and unpredictable has an element of fear, but you won't be going through it alone and you'll have a beautiful small person at the end of it

I think I'm going to be giving hynobirthing a go, I want my birth to be as calm and positive as possible.

PS all my friends say it's not nearly as bad as you think it's going to be either, as someone else said if it was that bad noone would do it again

 

[WW1]

I haven't thought about the birth itself at all yet - I'm sure the day will come quite soon when I'll wake up in a cold sweat realising I'm going to have to give birth but until that day I think I'll remain in blissful ignorance!!

Nothing quite like burying your head in the sand is there?!

 

[purpledahlia]

I know what happens, and i know whats meant to happen and what could happen, ive watched SOME youtube vid's, but i guess i just am really scared about doing it its all good and easy to be there for someone else but for me i just am thinking of panic panic panic, omg my hoo-ha has to get that size and it might rip/tear and it will hurt and people will see my bits (im not comfortable with that AT ALL, not even my boobs come out) just the way i am. I just want to go to bed one night and wake up the next day with my little lady hahahahahahah yeah right.

The birth stories are lovely, and they do make you see what you will feel afterwards etc, but hell, theyre still god dam scary talking about ripping and burning and pain and contractions and foceps and stuff like that..... OH MY GOD.

 

[Kiddo]

When I moved over to 3rd tri I found the threads scary too but as the time goes on you can relate more to them.

As for the birth, I found that being prepared really helped me. I avoided birth stories but read up on what to expect during labour. Also, if you can then take a tour of the labour ward so that you can visualise giving birth beforehand.

Remember that your body is designed to have babies and your bits are going to stretch naturally to let your LO out - you're not going to have to push a baby out through a tight tunnel.

I'm a total wuss and managed to do it just using gas and air so I'm sure you'll be fine. Just be clued up on what to expect and be open to change.

 

[Babybug]

https://www.lifeinmotionphotography.com/slideshows/amerlyn/

Found this on 3rd tri made me cry (in a good way)

 

[purpledahlia]

wow that made me cry too! is that lady on here??

 

[purpledahlia]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq7kOiM48Cw&feature=related

things like this just scre me, she looks like shes in torture.

 

[PieMistress]

I cried at the life in motion show too !!!

 

[Mynx]

I've also been taking a sneaky peek in 3rd Tri and reading some of the birth stories. Altho I'm not actually frightened of labour and giving birth, I'm terrified that I'll throw up.. I have a major phobia of vomitting (in me and other people lol!) and puking during labour is what is scaring me the most... I'm such a wierdo