Bit nervous.... but happy

[Mrs R]

So DH and I have finally made the decision to tell our parents (and my sisters) about our ttc struggles and I'm so nervous!

At the min, nobody has any idea of what's going on and so it will be a big shock to them. We both get on on really well with our parents but it's still going to be really difficult, and have basically kept if from them as we know how much they want grandchildren

The reason we've decided to tell them now is because we have requested an appointment from Care Fertility in Manchester for an IVF consultation

We have been thinking about this for a looooong time and have just decided to go for it, but I wouldn't undergo something as serious as IVF without telling my family (that and we'll be shooting off to Manchester every farts end so I think they might catch on lol)

We have an NHS consultation next week, which I am dreading. We're both pretty sure we'll be sent away for another few months with another excuse, so we're just going to get on with it ourselves.

We have chosen Care in Manchester as we are considering egg donation, and very few clinics will work with ladies with PCOS who want to donate. Of course they have to agree to us having the treatment first

We have made more decisions in the last 3 weeks than we have in our whole lives lol. But we're both getting really excited that we could actually have a chance of getting treatment that might work.

My NHS appointment is next Tuesday and if it doesn't go well, we'll be paying the parentals a visit that evening to drop a few bomb shells.

Watch this space ................

 

[BizyBee]

It's great that you guys have an appointment and it seems like things are moving along for you. I would also discuss our struggles with my family members if we were having IVF. It will be great to have the support of your family. Good luck. xx

 

[NeyNey]

Lots of luck with your appointment sweetheart,

I'm sure you're family will be supportive...

 

[maz]

Lots of luck with your appointment, and I'm sure your parents will be very supportive, and perhaps a little relieved to know what's happening ...

 

[Mrs R]

You're probably right. My mum knows I had potential PCOS, but I didn't tell her it was confirmed for various reasons, but she's bound to be wondering where the heck here granbabies are lol

And thanks Maz for pointing us towards Care Manchester, we've decided that we do need to leave NI but Norway was just a bit too scary when we went to book the flights!!

One week today til our appointment, this has been the longest 3 months of my life!!!!

 

[Kiki09]

Good Luck Mrs R, hope all goes well, we have told my family that we are TTC and the problems etc, it just stops all the questions and excuses lol

 

[brumbar]

I told my mum as she kept pestering me for babies....i think she felt really bad when i told her that we've been trying forever... She made it clear that she's there for me but stopped asking questions....i'm sure your family will be very supporive.... hope all goes fine and you get your bfp! Perhaps even b4 the ivf treatment! We are talking of going private 4 iui while on the ivf list but no decisons made yet.

 

[Steph63]

Oh this is something I keep putting off too, haven't told my mum or sis but Ian's family know, as do most of my friends, just don't know how to tell them

Good luck

 

[-Linn-]

Good luck with your appointment Mrs R and also telling your families. I recently told my mum how upset I was trying for so long and she just said it's because I stress too much and it will happen when the time is right, that made me feel really bad... as if the time is right for all the women that take drugs, drink or smoke when pregnant and TTC. She has since apologised but I think it's hard for people to relate to these issues when they never experienced infertility themselves. Keep us updated on how it all goes.

Good luck

Linn

 

[Rach27]

Hi Mrs R,

I made this same decision back in June. We live on the other side of the planet to our parents and we decided to tell them while we were there.

That same month I fell pregnant naturally! And this was after a failed IVF cycle!!

Good luck with letting them in. It did feel like a huge burden had been lifted for me.

 

[Mrs R]

Thanks girls.

Linn, I suppose I never thought that my family may not understand. I'll definitely chose my words more carefully now! I would be more worried that DH's parents may not understand as they are older and more traditional than my parents. Not sure how they will feel about fertility treatments etc. But we have to give it a go.....

Rach27.... thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm hoping telling my family will also relieve some of the pressure and stop me from driving DH crazy lol. Congratulations and best wishes for your miracle baby!

 

[Rach27]

Thank you!

My advice would be not to as much 'announce' it but to have an informal chat over coffee. IMHO a bad reaction is going to be because they don't fully understand something (treatments, reasons, prognosis) so try and explain it as thoroughly as possible, without confusing them. (I gave them the basics and then access to some reading material about IVF). It is more than likely they will be in a great position to support you and your OH and I hope it helps to take the pressure off.

All the best,
Rach.

 

[-Linn-]

Mrs R
I hope you get positive reactions from your and DHs family, I never thought of that either but it did upset me to hear the so dreaded u just gotta relax more and it will happen. My mom then told me it only took her 2 weeks after coming off the pill with me and my bro... so I guess she really just doesn't understand what it's like LTTTC. Keep us updated on how it goes, I understand what you mean about relieving the pressure. I have felt so much better since joining this forum not always having to bother OH.

Best of luck x