Bit of a rant, competitive mums

[binxyboo]

It isn't just talking either!

For some people EVERYTHING is a competion.
Some recent conversations have gone like this.

Them: Is Daniel rolling yet?
Me: No. he rolled from tummy to back the other day, but the look on his face told me it was an accident and he has never done it since.
Them: How old is he?
Me: 7 months
Them: Oh - well MY Tommy was rolling at 4 months
Me: thats nice.
Them: Is he teething?
Me: I hope so - he has been a little cranky
Them: How many teeth does he have now?
Me: errrrr - none
Them: Really?? well MY Tommy started teething at 3 months.
Me: Well, I expect they will come through soon.
Them: How much does he weigh now?
Me: well, he was just over 15lb last time I got him weighed.
Them: so what percentile is that?
Me: 2nd
Them: Crikey - thats really small. MY Tommy is perfectly following the 25th.
Me: so he is stunningly average then?

and on and on and on.
It gets very boring.

 

[Blaumba]

I don't think these over excited mums are saying these things to piss others off or make other mums fear that their child is behind, they are just proud of their LO's and calling baby babble talking.. or cruising walking or only waking once STTN.. I don't see why it should anger anyone? It's just very proud (ususally 1st time) mums and how they are. You wouldn't criticise a mum for being over protective of LO when it comes to illness etc, I see being over excited about developements in the same light.

 

[annawrigley]

It annoys me too, I don't know why you would say LO was doing something they weren't, or were trying to do, because when they actually did it it would just be a complete anticlimax and like you said, they would have to then exaggerate even further rather than just being proud of the thing they had finally done! MIL does it about Noah all the time and it really annoys/embarasses me.. One time that springs to mind is we went round for a 'playdate' with Noah's cousin who's a few months older than him (shes 4 months older but was born 2 months early), her mum asked "Can he crawl?" I said no at the same time as MIL said YES, plonked him down on the floor and we all sat around watching him wiggle on his belly flailing his arms and legs while his cousin crawled all around him. Why do people care?!? They are going to do all these things eventually, why not just wait til it happens and be proud and happy for them when they do rather than treating it all as one big game! It annoys me people who dont have children thinking they know it all as well and being rude, my friends at college are the worst for it...When Noah started crawling (I think he was 9 months?) i told them all excited and one of them was like "Oh... isnt that a bit late? " We are studying child development so she should really know that its not... Also the other day i was saying how knackered i was because he still didnt sleep through "Oh my auntie's baby slept through 6-6 from the day they brought her home" Why would you say that?!? Not helpful!! ...Rant over xxx

 

[ouchwithNo.2]

I dont bother with any baby groups for exactly that reason, couldn't give a hoot what little brat is doing compared to mine
When mums at school ask 'oh how is she....' I cut them dead before they can say oooh how is she, is she crawling yet?? etc etc... Just say, yep, shes fine. End of.
Babies haven't a clue what they are saying at 8mths - we teach them to say mama dada nana and so on and they just babble it because they get a reaction, it might as well be dolly or teddy!
My mum frequently collects my 6yr old from school and she got caught by a mum with a new baby there who knew she was my mum and started saying how the little einstein was starting to crawl, could sit up and had already said mama at.....4 MONTHS..... What a load of shit
mum said the baby was sat there and struggling to put a teether in its own mouth as the hand mouth co-ordination wasn't even there. Thats a clever baby.
Ignore!!!

 

[louandivy]

'stunningly average'. Brilliant response binxyboo!

 

[littlepne]

I remember when I went to baby group and a girl came along for the first time with her LO. Her LO was two weeks older than Summer.Summer was about 6.5 months and had just started to crawl. The convo went like this:

Her: ''When did she start to crawl?''
Me: ''Em just last week, she's still a bit unsteady at times but we'll get there''
Her:'' Well Lori can't crawl yet but she already says ''Hello Mummy, Does Summer do that yet''
Me : '' Na she just babbles rubbish
Her: ''Oh well, Lori must just be clever''

I was like ''SAY WHAAAAAAT''. My babies not stupid and I doubt hers could really say that. What does it matter? I haven't really been back since because it honestly put me off but I'd love to go back now and say ''Actually, my stupid baby now says 7 words so keep your opinions to yourself!''

And of those 7 words Summer knows when to use 4 of them in context and not just repeating something someone has said.
She'll say ''Danda'' for Grandad whenever she sees my dad, it's the only time she'll say it.
''Hiya'' and waves to strangers on the bus when she wants attention
''Dada'' when my OH comes in from work.
''Mum'' when she wants my attention.

And hell mend somebody if they ignore Summer...she goes mad! Obviously she's not saying sentences but her little words are definitely enough communication for now. I always think that a babies brain is often underestimated. Many LO's understand a lot more than we often believe imo xx

How rude to imply your baby's not clever! And my LO also hates being ignored by people - she seems to think everybody should want to smile and talk to her!

My DH will probably be one of these parents who think she's talking way before she can. He told me when she was 3 months that she'd rolled loads of times for him... he failed to mention that he was "helping" her by pretty much doing it for her!

Whenever I tell LO "say mummy" she cracks up in hysterical giggles - so she also agrees she can't talk yet!

 

[tu123]

I remember when I went to baby group and a girl came along for the first time with her LO. Her LO was two weeks older than Summer.Summer was about 6.5 months and had just started to crawl. The convo went like this:

Her: ''When did she start to crawl?''
Me: ''Em just last week, she's still a bit unsteady at times but we'll get there''
Her:'' Well Lori can't crawl yet but she already says ''Hello Mummy, Does Summer do that yet''
Me : '' Na she just babbles rubbish
Her: ''Oh well, Lori must just be clever''

I was like ''SAY WHAAAAAAT''. My babies not stupid and I doubt hers could really say that. What does it matter? I haven't really been back since because it honestly put me off but I'd love to go back now and say ''Actually, my stupid baby now says 7 words so keep your opinions to yourself!''

And of those 7 words Summer knows when to use 4 of them in context and not just repeating something someone has said.
She'll say ''Danda'' for Grandad whenever she sees my dad, it's the only time she'll say it.
''Hiya'' and waves to strangers on the bus when she wants attention
''Dada'' when my OH comes in from work.
''Mum'' when she wants my attention.

And hell mend somebody if they ignore Summer...she goes mad! Obviously she's not saying sentences but her little words are definitely enough communication for now. I always think that a babies brain is often underestimated. Many LO's understand a lot more than we often believe imo xx

cant believe she said that! i would have been laughing my head off.

My MIL swears that the quivering chin that Lillian still has (becasue her nervous system is still maturing) is a sign of high intelligence! Bless her.

 

[ouchwithNo.2]

my 7mth old knows what the 'fish' is - she will look to the fish tank and blow a bubble, looks at daddy when I say wheres dada, does that mean she is above average???!!!
oh and she doesn't babble or talk she growls and shrieks, thats very advanced didn't you know.....

 

[mixedmama]

I do agree that some mums are OTT but i don't see why this should offend anyone? If a mother wants to boast about her baby then i'd let her, she's obviously very proud of her LO and wants to tell the world. I doubt its an attempt to bring you down. I don't agree with comparing babies at all, but if my baby did something new or unusual, i would like to share it with someone willing to listen.

 

[binxyboo]

I do agree that some mums are OTT but i don't see why this should offend anyone? If a mother wants to boast about her baby then i'd let her, she's obviously very proud of her LO and wants to tell the world. I doubt its an attempt to bring you down. I don't agree with comparing babies at all, but if my baby did something new or unusual, i would like to share it with someone willing to listen.

There is sharing new and exirting things that your LO has done, and then there is telling you in such a condesending manner how THEIR LO was doing stuff WAY advanced of yours, while looking down their nose at you.
I think it is the latter that the OP (and myself) has a problem with.

 

[Dolly.]

awwwww maybe they are just excited that their babies are developing? It may not be a competition thing.....I love hearing what my mates babies are up to

 

[littleone2010]

I was so excited when my lo started doing the whole dadadada thing then dadadeeee and the first time she did it her and her dad were playing together, so even though WE KNEW it wasnt real talking we still were very very happy for her to look at him and say it! And ofcourse as a first time mum when I spoke to my friend (who doesnt have children) I told her because I was happy and she said "you know that isnt talking that is just babbling" I said "I know, but it still made our hearts melt"

I wasnt trying to brag or be funny and I am well aware its not propert talking but I enjoy it none the less!

I do go to a baby group every now and again and have been asked since she was 5 months old "is she crawling yet?" even at nearly 9 months im like "if you can call dragging herself across the room crawling, then she is!" lol
It is annoying but I think with first time mums in particular they want to compare to feel more secure that their child is developing properly.
But OP is right, the individual baby will decide when they want to do things, we can encourage all we want but ultimately baby will do it when baby wants! xx

 

[MissBroody]

My LO babbles, no words, just random baby babbling. I got really paranoid he wasn't saying any proper words because I felt most babies on here had a pretty good vocabulary by 8/9 months! He can't say 'mama' dadadada is pure accident, no other 'words' . I'm glad to read this and know its normal! I do get excited about his achievements and have a wee boast - but I'm just a proud mummy. I would never belittle someone else just because their baby who was the same age (or younger!) couldn't do what H can do, and I would hope the feeling would be mutual. I try not to get hung up on what other babies his age are doing and just enjoy him and know that they all do things in their own time. I hate the competitive side to parenting. I have a (estranged, now) friend who had a baby 3 months after me and she is highly competitive. Despite the age difference she compares their weight (her LO weighs more of course - I don't careeeeee! Harrison breaks my arms as it is!), how much hair they have, how long they sleep at night, how many teeth etc and who has the best pram, nicest crib... It's really.. Boring! I just want Harrison happy and healthy, I don't want a baby competition.
xx

 

[annawrigley]

I do agree that some mums are OTT but i don't see why this should offend anyone? If a mother wants to boast about her baby then i'd let her, she's obviously very proud of her LO and wants to tell the world. I doubt its an attempt to bring you down. I don't agree with comparing babies at all, but if my baby did something new or unusual, i would like to share it with someone willing to listen.

Because when people say such farfetched things that most probably arent even true it makes you feel like your LO isnt developing as they should, especially when they put it across in a boastful way, oh well MINE can do this... It doesnt feel good. Why would you boast about something your child cant even do? Of course i 'boast' about Noah's actual achievements but if I started bragging to someone with a 2 year old that he was already doing cartwheels down the street, they'd start to think oh well my LO is 2 and not doing that, whats wrong with them? When really I am just exaggerating the truth to make myself feel better, and in turn making someone else feel shit. Iykwim...

 

[louandivy]

I do agree that some mums are OTT but i don't see why this should offend anyone? If a mother wants to boast about her baby then i'd let her, she's obviously very proud of her LO and wants to tell the world. I doubt its an attempt to bring you down. I don't agree with comparing babies at all, but if my baby did something new or unusual, i would like to share it with someone willing to listen.

Because when people say such farfetched things that most probably arent even true it makes you feel like your LO isnt developing as they should, especially when they put it across in a boastful way, oh well MINE can do this... It doesnt feel good. Why would you boast about something your child cant even do? Of course i 'boast' about Noah's actual achievements but if I started bragging to someone with a 2 year old that he was already doing cartwheels down the street, they'd start to think oh well my LO is 2 and not doing that, whats wrong with them? When really I am just exaggerating the truth to make myself feel better, and in turn making someone else feel shit. Iykwim...

Plus I don't know about anyone else but I don't meet up with mums to sit and brag about our LOs all day, how boring! (Thats what BnB is for )

 

[aliss]

I just smile and nod.

I get particularly annoyed (internally) when some mothers brag about their child's "advanced language development" because I did my degree in linguistics and child language aquisition, so I often sit there and think "No, that's not actually babbling lol", or "no, that's actually just cooing" BUT again..... I just smile and nod!!! I would never retort "No that's not actually "X" because... (insert schpeel about requirements for particular stage, particular phonemes or consonant/vowel requirements)

Smile and nod is a way to please us both

 

[annawrigley]

Smile and nod is the answer to everything

 

[aob1013]

Leni's been talking since 6 weeks



Annoying isn't it. I have a family friend which we meet up with (my mum and I) every 2 weeks. Her baby is Leni are the same age. She is sooooo competitive, but in a malicious way? Always pointing o ut that Leni was premature so 'must be behind' OH FUCK OFF WOULD YOU!!

 

[NG09]

Leni's been talking since 6 weeks



Annoying isn't it. I have a family friend which we meet up with (my mum and I) every 2 weeks. Her baby is Leni are the same age. She is sooooo competitive, but in a malicious way? Always pointing o ut that Leni was premature so 'must be behind' OH FUCK OFF WOULD YOU!!

 

[littlepne]

Leni's been talking since 6 weeks



Annoying isn't it. I have a family friend which we meet up with (my mum and I) every 2 weeks. Her baby is Leni are the same age. She is sooooo competitive, but in a malicious way? Always pointing o ut that Leni was premature so 'must be behind' OH FUCK OFF WOULD YOU!!

One day, Leni will do something before your friend's baby! I'm too tired to think up a witty comment you could say though