..bit of a wreck

[Drazic<3]

look at all them !!!

 

[lozzy21]

Did you have a look at the birth trauma website? If you havent its worth a read.

I hope you get some where with your GP, dont let them try to fob you off

 

[Drazic<3]

I'm going to have a look now, thank you sweetheart. If you don't mind me asking, have you seen your GP? Were they helpful?

 

[lozzy21]

I havent had the guts to speek to her yet, its taken me this long to admit to Andrew how i realy feel and that took a lot of alcohol for me to tell him.

 

[Drazic<3]

You are doing amazing hun. I haven't admitted it to El yet so you need to be really proud of yourself. It will probably be easier to admit it to a virtual stranger than someone so close

 

[lozzy21]

I only admited it to Andrew after we came in for a night out plasterd and the hamster escaped while we were out after i dident put her water back in propperly. She was found straight away and she came to no harm but it went from me being upset that i hadent kept the hamster safe to everything about her birth coming out inbetween sobs.

It does feel better having him know how i feel, i know now that if im having a bad day i can go to him for a hug instead of crying on my own.

 

[Drazic<3]

Might not be the best way hun, but at least your not alone with it now. I talk to El about my labour alot. There is still so much in my head, so much happened, and he doesn't mind talking about it but it freaks him out too as it was a trauma for us both.

Bumped into a different HV today, I left a message on my HV's phone and apparently she is really worried about me and has contacted SCBU on my behalf. So worried she doesn't even know Melody wasn't in SCBU so why she has contacted them I have no idea. Apparently I will hear about a debrief soon and she wants to see me. Somehow I have made her realise something is wrong, I didn't say anything different, I think I did sound a bit desperate and pathetic though! Still haven't made the Drs appointment but going to try again tomorrow.

 

[lozzy21]

I braved the GP today and i wish i had done it sooner. Shes said im suffering a form of PTSD and has refered me for counselling. She is the first person iv spoke to in RL who has not made be feel bad for how i feel

 

[dizzy65]