Blergh

[Younglutonmum]

I feel so shit. I can't really describe it any other way to be honest

I love Maya, absolutley adore her. I cope well with her & in general find her to be a very easy baby so t's not being a mummy that's the problem

But I still feel like crap in myself

I cry really easily all the time now. I find myself crying every night in bed, scared that i'm alone for ever now (apart from my Princess)

I feel like i'm a fat, ugly monster. Why would anyone want me?

I have no friends since we all drifted apart while I was pregnant

Me & my mum keep arguing, making up, arguing etc. When we argue she threatens to kick me out so now I no longer feel secure in my home.

Everynight I dream about my ex. It's the same dream where we are still together but then he goes home & i'm frantically trying to call him but keep dialing the wrong number & when I do get through he doesn't want the baby. I hate going to sleep

I smile on the outside but i'm crying on the inside

 

[Serene123]

Kelly, you are not a fat ugly monster! Jesus christ. If anyone is a fat ugly monster it's me. I really hope things get better for you. Your mum doesn't deserve you living with her.

 

[Younglutonmum]

Kelly, you are not a fat ugly monster! Jesus christ. If anyone is a fat ugly monster it's me. I really hope things get better for you. Your mum doesn't deserve you living with her.

Thanks hun

You're certainly not a fat ugly monster!!!!!

 

[1st_baby]

Girls non of us our fat ugly monsters !!! we are MOTHERS not many women get to have that title ..yes our body no longer resembles what it used to but look at what it created a beautiful little human being who will look up to us and follow our every move ..

After birth is a horrible feeling I agree but we cant let it get us down , instead of feeling down and all that why not think positive ..My good friend RIP told me this

Each morning get up with a smile , look at yourself in the mirror and say " Ive made it another day " and thank god for every second no matter what the situation or the way we look and feel .. I hope you girls feel better about yourselves are we all are truly beautiful people who made baked a little miracle for 9 months and that I dont think everyone is capable of doing so ..we should be proud that we did it as it makes us so strong

 

[Younglutonmum]

I am so so proud of my little girl, it's unbeliveable but I still feel so down

I find myself crying all of a sudden for no reason

 

[princess_bump]

sweetie so sorry you're feeling this way, your a wonderful mother and a beautiful young women i so hope things get better soon
motherhood can be tough of the hormones i too feel very insecure since maddi has been born

 

[lorrilou]

that is exactly how i feel!!! love my kids to bits and am fine with everything to do with them but inside i feel like complete and utter shite and have felt like this since i had callum. i start freaking out about stupid things and cry on a regular basis over nothing!!! ive since been diagnosed with PND and jut talking to someone has made me feel a hell of alot better.

so i know exactly how you feel kelly.

 

[Younglutonmum]

Maybe ive got PND then??

 

[lorrilou]

not sure hun. Maybe have a chat with your hv, tell her how your feeling. Thats all i did and she made me go see the doctor. You'd be suprised how much better you feel after just talking to someone.

 

[Younglutonmum]

I really don't want to talk to anyone tbh

The thought of opening up to my doc or hv makes me sick, neither of them are nice people

 

[lorrilou]

i dont blame you. i wouldnt want to talk to someone horrible either.

 

[nikky0907]

Kelly,I don't know you personally but I feel like I do...you're such a positive,beautiful person.
Even if I never saw your picture I'd think you're beautiful.

You've been through so much and came out on top.You got your beautiful little reward...
I know you love Maya more than anythin in the world but you have to learn to love and admire yourself for who you are and belive in yourself that everythings gonna be ok.
None of us know what the future hold for us right now...nobody on this forum,moms,moms-to-be,ttc-ers...
But here's where you have to have belive that you're strong and gonna do everything you can in life for both you and you're princess.

 

[Younglutonmum]

Kelly,I don't know you personally but I feel like I do...you're such a positive,beautiful person.
Even if I never saw your picture I'd think you're beautiful.

You've been through so much and came out on top.You got your beautiful little reward...
I know you love Maya more than anythin in the world but you have to learn to love and admire yourself for who you are and belive in yourself that everythings gonna be ok.
None of us know what the future hold for us right now...nobody on this forum,moms,moms-to-be,ttc-ers...
But here's where you have to have belive that you're strong and gonna do everything you can in life for both you and you're princess.

Thank you for this post hun

Has really made me smile & i've kinda gone all teary

 

[princess_bump]

oh sweetie i'm sorry you feel like you can't talk to anyone, my hv is awful too and i couldn't talk to her, i'm lucky cos i have an excellent gp, if you ever need to talk, please pm me.
what a wonderful post amy, i completely agree

 

[leeanne]

Lovely post Amy! And I totally agree with you!

 

[reallytinyamy]

Do you have a clinic nearby that you could go to? I know the people at mine are much nicer perhaps there is someone you could talk to that way.

I think you do need to talk to someone. You're a wonderful mum, Maya is very lucky- and so is your mum for that matter!!

Please find the courage to speak to someone, I think I speak for everyone when I say we are all behind you and here for you

 

[Younglutonmum]

Do you have a clinic nearby that you could go to? I know the people at mine are much nicer perhaps there is someone you could talk to that way.

I think you do need to talk to someone. You're a wonderful mum, Maya is very lucky- and so is your mum for that matter!!

Please find the courage to speak to someone, I think I speak for everyone when I say we are all behind you and here for you

Thank you hun

You & Chloe are coming to the MK meet aren't you??

I'm going to have to give you a big squeeze when I see ya

 

[reallytinyamy]

We certainly plan to!!

I think talking to someone, no matter how horrible they are, can't be any worse than the way you're feeling right now can it?

 

[Younglutonmum]

We certainly plan to!!

I think talking to someone, no matter how horrible they are, can't be any worse than the way you're feeling right now can it?

No I suppose not

To be honest I don't know how to start the conversation. It's easy on here, I come on & just type exactly how I feel to people I count as friends

But to say it face to face to a HV or Doc I barely know let alone like?? Well that's another thing

 

[princess_bump]

i agree amy - i'm going to admit something now that i never have on bnb, i have pnd. its been awful and its only the last few weeks i'm myself again. all i wanted to do with be with maddi and clean! my mum and james have been getting me through it, but once i spoke about have i felt, i felt so much better. i was first triggered but post traumatic stress caused by my labour and the fact i had an awful mw the whole of my pregnancy. i can't tell u all how much better i feel now, always here to talk honey