Bloody doctors!

[Minno]

Right, warning, rant ahead!

Just went to the docs as had a nightmare cycle this month. 2 weeks late (which I never am) and BFN's all round. Then very very heavy bleed from Thurs last, and now easing off thank goodness. Went to Docs to ask for something to help with bleeding. He was unbelievably depressing about me being 40 and how my cycle being off this month is likely a sign of early hormonal change aka perimenopause. But all my hormone levels are good and don't indicate that. My progesterone is 36. I ov every month. I have AF every month. And to top it all - he never even examined me or based his views on any tests.

Is it just me, or does this smack of ageism?!!! As if its not bloody hard enough for us trying to conceive a bit later in life without the medical profession writing us off as well!

I already have an 8 year old and had all the routine tests and DH has too, and all good.

Maybe this cycle was just a blip mmmmm?!

Rant over

 

[wannabemum123]

Ignore them. Some of them are only good for handing out antibiotics. Am so dissatisfied with some of the doctors I wonder why they get paid all the money they do. Of course there are some lovely doctors out there, but others give me the impression they cant be bothered.

 

[Minno]

You're so right Wannabemum. I even asked him about ferritin impacting fertility and he said he didn't know but didn't think so. You only have to google it to see he's not right. Also another doc at the practice told me that anything under 50 and fertility will be affected. Mine was at 9!

They make me so cross sometimes - just the way they are so matter-of-fact and can't see the effect they can have on you.

But you're right - there are some lovely ones.
Thanks for replying to my rant! xxx

 

[mumoffive]

What a cheek!
Well when i go, i usually say, maybe its the menopause and i get..no..your actually still too young for the menopause!!!! So bare that in mind. I am 42!

 

[caroleb73]

Right, warning, rant ahead!

Just went to the docs as had a nightmare cycle this month. 2 weeks late (which I never am) and BFN's all round. Then very very heavy bleed from Thurs last, and now easing off thank goodness. Went to Docs to ask for something to help with bleeding. He was unbelievably depressing about me being 40 and how my cycle being off this month is likely a sign of early hormonal change aka perimenopause. But all my hormone levels are good and don't indicate that. My progesterone is 36. I ov every month. I have AF every month. And to top it all - he never even examined me or based his views on any tests.

Is it just me, or does this smack of ageism?!!! As if its not bloody hard enough for us trying to conceive a bit later in life without the medical profession writing us off as well!

I already have an 8 year old and had all the routine tests and DH has too, and all good.

Maybe this cycle was just a blip mmmmm?!

Rant over

Hey Minno

I completely understand where you are coming from. I am 37 and DH 27 and have been TTC for 14 months now. Went to the hospital and had all the tests done and all ok but the doc I saw was horrible. She just kept on reminding me that I have left it late and that we have to get a move on. I saw her for 2 cycles and then this week had enough of feeling so negative each time I saw her so I have changed docs.

I now go to a small clinic with a husband and wife team who have a totally different outlook. Yes they tell me that it is not going to be as easy as a girl in her 20's but that it is totally achievable without much intervention and not to panic. They are genuinely passionate about what they do and care about their patients not just the money.

My advice would be to try and look for a different doctor, one thats suited to you and shares your positivity as it really make the difference.

My Mum had by little sister at 43 with no problems at all so that really keeps me positive.

Hang on in there, I am sure you will get your BFP soon

 

[wannabemum123]

caroleb73 - You are only young at 37, some Dr's come from the old school. Women having children over 40 has tripled in the last twenty years. It's a bit like Life Expectancy Age, one has to move with the times we are living longer and more health conscious.

There was an era where you would expect to be on your deathbed by the age 40 and this has risen over the years. The elderly are more sprightly nowadays. Age is nothing but a number - Remember that.

 

[animalcracker]

Right, warning, rant ahead!

Just went to the docs as had a nightmare cycle this month. 2 weeks late (which I never am) and BFN's all round. Then very very heavy bleed from Thurs last, and now easing off thank goodness. Went to Docs to ask for something to help with bleeding. He was unbelievably depressing about me being 40 and how my cycle being off this month is likely a sign of early hormonal change aka perimenopause. But all my hormone levels are good and don't indicate that. My progesterone is 36. I ov every month. I have AF every month. And to top it all - he never even examined me or based his views on any tests.

Is it just me, or does this smack of ageism?!!! As if its not bloody hard enough for us trying to conceive a bit later in life without the medical profession writing us off as well!

I already have an 8 year old and had all the routine tests and DH has too, and all good.

Maybe this cycle was just a blip mmmmm?!

Rant over

I hate doctors - the whole bloody lot of them. Not only ageism here but WTF does HE KNOW. HAS HE EVER GIVEN BIRTH?

Call me sexist, but when it comes to fertility and 'down there' I won't go to a man. They don't know wtf they are talking about and can't possibly understand a woman like another woman does.

For the record, my gynecologist here in NYC is female and she gave birth to twin daughters at age 44! NO IVF either!

keep your chin up and find another Dr. That's what i would do in your shoes - one who is supportive of your efforts because you really do need to keep positive. That is difficult to do if your Dr. is a negative asshat!

 

[Crazy4Emily]

Ya, I'd find another doctor as well. Life is too short to be messing around with Dr. Butthead. I've fired several doctors myself. (not OBGYNs though) They can be very arrogant and demeaning. It's like you are just some experiment, not even a person some times! UGH!

 

[Minno]

Wow - you ladies are amazing! You keep me sane! I can't tell you how pessimistic I felt after I left the surgery. And to top it all, I don't even feel 40. I'm in good health, still in shape, look after myself etc And my hormone levels when checked were very good.
Needless to say, animalcracker, the doc was a man and so dismissive. Not going to him ever again. Definately need someone to keep me positive and will take all your advice and try to get a) a female and b) someone who shares the optimism.
Hope all you lovely ladies get your BFPS this scycle - I'm trying again, so lets see if month 19 will be it.
xxx

 

[Minno]

p.s. all your fantastic stories of women giving birth later in life have really cheered me up. Thanks guys!

 

[Sparky67]

Minno - you mention ferratin and fertility - I am plagued by borderline anaemia - usually I am just about OK on my iron levels not to need supplements, but I'd never heard that this affected fertility. I will investigate!

 

[Minno]

Hi Sparky67. yes, its the iron stores which are important as you can be borderline on haemoglobin and so borderline anaemic but still be fine, however if your ferritin is low this can affect your fertility. And GPs don't usually test for ferritin unless you ask so it can go unnoticed. Definately worth asking for a routine blood check next time you're at the docs especially if you're borderline anaemic anyway.

 

[Sparky67]

Thanks - I think I am having more blood tests next week to check for rubella immunity etc before we can get referred to the fertility clinic, so I will mention this as well.