Blues?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Hayley90, Dec 21, 2009.

  1. Hayley90

    Hayley90 Complete

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    Hey everyone! Hey beans :hi:

    unfortunately this is a bit of a downer...my mood has taken a turn for the worse, and im starting to think there is something wrong with me :nope:

    All week ive been feeling pretty down in the dumps, about most stuff. The snow (for a photographer, normally id be JUMPING FOR JOY!), the cold ( I LOVE Winter), food, sickness, sex, hugs, kisses, my fiance, and nothing can cheer me up. :shrug:

    i know its normal to get moody, but all the time? im only ever happy at work, and thats because i wouldnt dare be in a mood with them!! it wouldnt get me anywhere & they are really supportive, id have no reason to take it out on them - so why my family.

    and today, i was on the phone to my mum & i get frustrated when people say "dont worry it'll all be fine" when i have worries - especially when they say " if you're worried you can talk to me"

    so i was on the phone to mum;

    -talking about my (supposedly) irrational and imaginitive fear of child labour, and that my midwife wont be the same as the one i know now?

    -The fact there's a change my little bean could be autistic, because of OHs medical history & that he himself has autism.

    -or that im worried about telling people when im 12 weeks (boxing day) when my scan isnt till 7th jan, so i wont know anything till then.

    -and that so many people have problems having children, why i feel sad that im sick/tired/grumpy all the time when i wasn't prepared. i feel cruel, but at the same time i wish i wasnt...but i dont think i mean it. im so confused :(

    -i have a trainee midwife who makes mistakes and a qualified midwife who might not even be looking after me because ive been referred to a consultant. can i not build up a relationship with SOMEONE throughout this? does it have to be someone new everytime?!!?

    and so it goes on, the usual plus some extra hormonal stuff.

    and all i get is "dont worry"

    is it just me who thinks i should get more than a "dont worry" ? i started to cry so said bye and hung up, but i feel a bit cheated - why does no one understand :( and i hate saying this ,but why me ? :shrug:

    ugh. sorry its such a long post...im probably just over reacting :(

    xox
     
  2. ladypotter

    ladypotter Three Girls!!!

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    I feel your pain, but many times, people just don't know what to say. I think many people realize preggo women go through hormonal fits of insanity and just don't know how to react. For one...I was fine all day yesterday and then for some reason, I just started crying in the middle of trying to eat dinner. No reason...just started balling. Then...5 minutes later, came back and finished my dinner. My OH just sat there and said nothing...cause...what CAN he say really? I hope you feel better soon. I don't think there is anything anyone can say to MAKE you feel better....sometimes, just talking it out, and having someone listen makes me feel better. I don't expect answers most of the time (unless it is from my Dr.)...just need to vent....
     
  3. Lane_Meyer

    Lane_Meyer 1st child

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    I can understand where you are coming from. I feel like I have had the hangover from hell for about 5 weeks now, and although when I think about it I am over the moon to be pregnant, most of the time I just feel really shit.

    I get pissed off at my family too. I'm usually a positive person and the one who cheers people up, and I feel kind of let down by their reactions now that I could use some help. Also my sister is TTC and is experiencing male factor infertility so I feel extra guilty complaining.

    I just wanted to say that you are not alone, and I think all your fears about telling people before the scan, autism, and ever-changing midwives are all valid concerns. I myself just keep reading bandb and telling myself that the 2nd trimester will be a lot better. I hope you feel better soon :flower:
     
  4. Hayley90

    Hayley90 Complete

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    thanks :)

    the one that actually bugs me the most is the labour one...i am so scared, i tremble and feel sick when i read birth stories, no matter how un-graphic they are - it just terrifies me to the core. Nothing else scares me nearly as much.

    im normally a fairly happy spirited person, thats why its so annoying - people dont seem to notice a difference in me, yet i feel like a different person. And i hate complaining, as there are people who would love to be me, but i just dont know where to start really. :shrug:

    im hoping as i get to 12 weeks the hormones slow down a little - i burst into tears at an Editors song earlier, just because he said the word crawl. good grief. :dohh:
     
  5. bek74

    bek74 Mum of 5

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    I don't feel the comment 'don't worry' is trying to unstate how your feeling.
    The 'don't worry' comes from the fact you can't change anything, worrying if your child has Autism isn't going to make it not have it, it's out of your control. Worrying about the labour and delivery isn't going to change the fact this bean is one day going to come out. Yes alot of women have complications with delivery, but ya know alot of women DON'T.
    My husband has a form of Autism and so does my youngest son ( along with other issues), my eldest two boys have nothing wrong with them. Having a child with Autism isn't a death sentence, they are beautiful wonderful children and are usually very intelligent, and instead of worrying about something that is completely out of your control, read up about it, read up about raising a child with Autism, so if it turns out your child does have it you are prepared.

    I really think the "don't worry" comment is right, all the things you are concerned about are out of your control, educate yourself, go to birthing classes, read up on being in control of your labour, do something positive to increase your confidence in the areas you are struggling with.

    Every pregnant women has fears, there is so much going on and it is out of our control, so to try and gain some contro,l all we can do is be prepared. Everything will be as it is meant to be.
    :hugs:
     
  6. TLosch

    TLosch Jaxson Kyle

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    I am feeling the same way..I keep telling my husband I just want to feel normal again...and nobody unsderstand how i feel. I am hoping that once the hormones calm down and I wrap my head around the fact that this is really happening this time (since I have 4 miscarraiges) then maybe I will be ok. But I think its normal how your feeling...BUT if you really truely think that you are depressed you should talk to your dr about it. I think its common for women to get depressed during and after pregnancy.....Your not alone....just pray it goes away once our hormones calm down
     

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