BLW and frustrations with MIL

[lindypops]

Conversation 1 (after having told MIL we are planning to BLW):

MIL: 'My hairdresser [who had a baby on the same day as me] has started making purees - apparently it's so easy. All you do is puree up some carrot, put it in ice-cube trays and freeze it and then you have ready-made portions.'

Me: 'That is conventient, but we've told you that we are planning to BLW and so won't be giving purees.'

MIL: 'Well, I hope you will be giving her SOME runny foods. Mash and gravy is so nice.'

Conversation 2:

Me: 'It was so funny the other day - LO decided to chomp down on a huge bit of banana instead of taking a small bite...'


MIL (almost hyperventilating): OMG!!! You prob had to race across and get it out. I hope she was ok.'

Me: 'There was no chance of her choking - it was way too big - and I was right there just in case.'

MIL (totally unconvinced look on her face): 'Hmmm...'

Conversation 3 (on watching LO shove a bit of broccoli right in her mouth and enthusiastically chew and suck away for ages): 'Well, Eve, I think mummy is just teasing you...[ten second gap, while she goes into the kitchen to heat our lunch up]...naughty mummy...[ten second gap, still in the kitchen]...'Poor Eve, not getting to eat that properly...naughty mummy...it just doesn't seem fair...' etc etc. All addressed through my LO.

Me: nothing. Trying to keep my temper.

Conversation 4:

MIL: 'I was at the library the other day and saw a book and weaning and thought I would have a look, so I know what's going on. It's so interesting. Apparently you can puree up some carrot, put it in ice-cube trays and freeze it and then you have ready-made portions.'

DH: 'Yes mum, but that's not how we're doing it.'

MIL: 'Well, I hope you will be giving her SOME runny foods. Mash and gravy is so nice.'

___

I am struggling with this, tbh. I'm certain she thinks I have bullied DH into doing this and that he wouldn't if he realised the risk of choking.

To my mind, there are two issues here:

1) She should NEVER say I am naughty/nasty (can't remember which word she used) to Eve.

2) It's none of her damn business how we feed Eve. She made her choices, I'm making mine.

But how to deal? I am photocopying some of the BLW book for her (including the pages on other people's reservations about it...) and haven't addressed the criticism part - but I think I will if she does it again.

I'm mainly concerned about these things because MIL will be looking after Eve from Sept 2 days a week while I'm at work. We could afford to pay for more childcare, but She offered 2 days when we were going to ask for 1, and DH thinks it's great and in most ways she is lovely.

I am just imagining picking Eve up after work and MIL saying 'we had mash and gravy, soup and then yoghurt - runny foods are so nice, aren't they Eve - not like the foods your nasty mummy gives you...'.

Any advice from those who have been through similar? Thanks!

 

[gday2uk]

Why not compromise and do both? Use BLW as the main part but also give some mashed as well? Best of both worlds.

 

[celine]

Thats really not fair of your mil, i think every mum should have the right to state how and what their baby is going to be raised. Im not a blw-er myself but I would feel the same in your shoes.

I want to say by Sept Eve will be almost a year old and will be a pro at her finger foods, in fact I hope your mil wont be harping on about purees still by that stage!

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I would stand your ground and not be tempted to combine spoonfeeding and BLW - doing this may slow down her development of BLW skills, which will be your best weapon against her objections!

 

[lindypops]

Why not compromise and do both? Use BLW as the main part but also give some mashed as well? Best of both worlds.

I certainly will give her the chance to eat dippy foods, Gday... but that is not really the issue. We have fully researched and decided on how to try weaning and we are confudent and happy with our choice. It is MIL's attitude that is the problem asd I see it - and just cos she'll be minding her doesn't give her the right to have a say in this

 

[lindypops]

I would stand your ground and not be tempted to combine spoonfeeding and BLW - doing this may slow down her development of BLW skills, which will be your best weapon against her objections!

You're right!

I was a bit disappointed, I do admit, to her reaction to Eve eating broccoli. I don't want a medal or anything, but it would've been nice for MIL to say something along the lines of 'isn't she confident with food - and straight in her mouth first go'.

I guess we'll have to wait until she eats three courses plus coffee...

 

[joeyjo]

It could happen sooner than u think! Last week G just sucked stuff infront of my mum but this week infront of the MIL he ate LOADS in 1 sitting - I was so chuffed!

I think it's really important to stick to your guns but by the same token don't exclude mashed potato, yoghurt etc if it's what you're having. G likes thick mash that he can pick up clumps of and push into his mouth.

Come September Eve should be a pro at -eating sandwiches, salads etc; even non BLW babes should be good at finger foods by a year old.

 

[faille]

Honestly, with BLW, it seems to be that people don't really understand until they see it in action.

Give it just a month or 2 and your LO will be proving your MIL wrong. Just bite your tongue for now and don't let yourself be bullied into doing something you dont wanna do x

 

[gday2uk]

I certainly will give her the chance to eat dippy foods, Gday... but that is not really the issue. We have fully researched and decided on how to try weaning and we are confudent and happy with our choice. It is MIL's attitude that is the problem asd I see it - and just cos she'll be minding her doesn't give her the right to have a say in this

I totally see your point with the interfering mother in law thinks she knows best etc. etc. but at the end of the day I'm sure she is only thinking about your daughter and how she might like different foods; she probably knows nothing about BLW. Show her it works and she'll be preaching it to the masses next time she has her hair done!

 

[tinyme77]

How about you give her some literature about it so that she understands it better?

And perhaps also point out that gravy contains salt which you won't be letting your baby have.

Well done for keeping your cool

 

[Quartz]

With the mash as joeyjo says mine grabs handfuls of mash or you could make potato croquettes as a finger food when they are older which is just mashed rolled in bread potatoes and then they can dip in (homemade) gravy

 

[Lisa1302]

Why not compromise and do both? Use BLW as the main part but also give some mashed as well? Best of both worlds.

I certainly will give her the chance to eat dippy foods, Gday... but that is not really the issue. We have fully researched and decided on how to try weaning and we are confudent and happy with our choice. It is MIL's attitude that is the problem asd I see it - and just cos she'll be minding her doesn't give her the right to have a say in this

I don't see why you should have to compromise! Its your baby and you should have the final word, whether that includes puree or not.

I choose to start with purees and now she has things with her hands too - but if you choose BLW then stick to your guns and don't let interfering MIL do as she pleases!

 

[lindypops]

Thanks guys - feeling like I have a slightly visible halo at my restraint!

MIL didn't say anything today.

Mash ideas are great, thanks!

GDay - how ironic that if she does brag about food-eating granddaughter while having her hair done it will eb to mum of same-age kid!