SarandrewBean
Mammy to Halle <3
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- Jun 2, 2013
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I may sound really silly, because I've already had two scans one being at 4-5 weeks and the other being at 7 weeks and 3 days. But just have this really bad feeling and with the 12 week scan (don't know exactly when as haven't had a date yet) being at least another 3-4 weeks away, I'm feeling so negative.
I think the thing is, is that the 2nd miscarriage happened early on at 5 weeks and therefore once I passed the 5 week mark in this pregnancy I felt 'safe'. My first pregnancy however happened after I passed the 9 week stage (around 9 - 10 weeks) so now I'm panicking as I feel like until I'm 12 weeks this pregnancy means nothing to anyone, the DR's, midwives etc don't want to know until I've passed that stage which I do understand it probably does cost a lot to visit and get to know all these women who get pregnant for some to then miscarry but it would be nice to know that what I'm going through is NORMAL!
I've lost all my symptoms, which is what happened with my first pregnancy, my birthday is on the 2nd of September and so I've decided to pay for a private scan as a sort of 'birthday present' for myself, because otherwise I'm going to feel shit on my birthday with worry! Although still really nervous about this scan tomorrow too, what if there's no heartbeat, I physically and emotionally don't think I could go through another miscarriage especially as my first miscarriage was terrible due to me passing the baby and actually seeing it in my hand, it's the most horrific thing I've ever experienced and knowing the chances of then going on to have a healthy 9 month pregnancy after 3 miscarriages in a row are so low, I'd completely lose hope!
I think the thing is, is that the 2nd miscarriage happened early on at 5 weeks and therefore once I passed the 5 week mark in this pregnancy I felt 'safe'. My first pregnancy however happened after I passed the 9 week stage (around 9 - 10 weeks) so now I'm panicking as I feel like until I'm 12 weeks this pregnancy means nothing to anyone, the DR's, midwives etc don't want to know until I've passed that stage which I do understand it probably does cost a lot to visit and get to know all these women who get pregnant for some to then miscarry but it would be nice to know that what I'm going through is NORMAL!
I've lost all my symptoms, which is what happened with my first pregnancy, my birthday is on the 2nd of September and so I've decided to pay for a private scan as a sort of 'birthday present' for myself, because otherwise I'm going to feel shit on my birthday with worry! Although still really nervous about this scan tomorrow too, what if there's no heartbeat, I physically and emotionally don't think I could go through another miscarriage especially as my first miscarriage was terrible due to me passing the baby and actually seeing it in my hand, it's the most horrific thing I've ever experienced and knowing the chances of then going on to have a healthy 9 month pregnancy after 3 miscarriages in a row are so low, I'd completely lose hope!