Boyfriends parents cot?

[OJTheCat]

So, we told my boyfriends parents about the pregnancy last night, which went a lot better than expected, no shouting, but they have kept the cot that my boyfriend was in, meaning its 23 years old, and they have expressed their desire for us to use it, which I'm not particularly comfortable with. It's been stored under the bed for years, and even though its not drop side I just don't particularly think its safe, I don't mind second hand at all, but I do mind the fact its well over 20 years old, they even laughed (!) about when my boyfriend got his leg trapped between the bars as a baby!! how do I say no without offending them? I don't want to offend them considering they have been kind enough to offer it to us, despite our situation.

 

[6lilpigs]

Tell them that maybe they can put it up at theirs as a day visiting cot Say you want a color matching one when you find out the gender, but your waiting til birth to find out so theres no point them painting the cot to match for you lol

Out of interest is he an only child

 

[MindUtopia]

I wouldn't be worried about an older cot. It's probably better made than many you'll find today and none are such that baby can't get legs and arms stuck somewhere, so unless you've seen it and it's damaged or clearly unsafe, I wouldn't necessarily be concerned about that. But I do think it's important for you to get what it is you want and if it's not that, then there's no harm in saying. I would just tell them that you had something in mind already and you wanted everything to match. But yes, just maybe say you'd like to leave it at their house for whenever you are there and need a cot (but make sure to get a new mattress).

 

[OJTheCat]

they have kept the travel cot that he had and have already earmarked its use for when baby visits XD they already asked last night (before mentioning this cot) whether we were finding out and we said yes XD we've kind of shot ourselves in the foot to be honest!

and no he has a slightly younger sister (it was her cot as well!) they offered us the pram as well, but luckily my mum has insisted she buys us a travel system as its tradition in my family, so we got out of that one!

its so lovely that they are wanting to be so involved given how we thought they were going to react, and I wouldn't mind if it were clothes or toys that can be popped through the wash and doesn't make too much of a difference. but we'll put it up and see how it looks, if its wobbly then i'm sure they wont mind us not using it, i'm not 100% sure how it looks at all and even my boyfriend had no idea of its existence until last night (I also didn't realise people kept such large items for so long)

 

[xdxxtx]

My oldest has gotten his leg stuck in our 5-year-old crib, too. We bought a mesh "bumper" that is completely safe and keeps all of baby's body in the crib. haha. That was a scary night, and yes, I laugh about it, too. So regardless of what crib you use, consider a breathable bumper. Do your research.

Otherwise, hey, I don't know what to say besides it's your choice as the parents of this baby, which crib you'll use. It might offend them that you've turned it down, but hopefully they'll get over it. I would buy a nice matching set, and say that it came with the crib (mine came as a 3-piece set with a dresser, changing table and crib!).

 

[Natnee]

Perhaps accept it from them and say exactly what you just said - it's wobbly! Or something like that that has made you want to get a different one!

 

[SonnyH]

Can you up-cycle it? Make it look nicer and newer? You could strip it down and paint it a colour of your choice? Obviously you'll need a new mattresses and a friend of mine used those individual bar bumpers which really spruced up her second hand cot and I think are safer than regular bumpers. Those might prevent worries about legs getting stuck etc! Just a thought if you can't think of another way out of it!

 

[becsboo]

I would just take it say thank you but buy one you want or tell them

 

[lindsayms05]

I have learned that it is way easier to just be honest in these situations. I would be leery of a crib that is that old. It may be made sturdily but that doesn't mean it is up to the codes they have set now for cribs. There's also a chance that the dimensions are slightly different and a new mattress won't fit snuggly. It is extremely dangerous to have any type of gap between the mattress and crib rails on any side of the crib. Babies can get their heads trapped in tiny gaps and they suffocate. I'm sure I sound like a debbie downer because I love the idea of sentimental items, but there are crib standards for a reason...because they have been proven to be safer than what we had before. The same goes for car seats.

 

[DobbyForever]

I vote honesty especially if your hubs had an incident in it. My friend had the same issue, and she told her in laws straight up it did not meet safety standards and while she loves them and respects them she was not comfortable putting her baby in a potentially unsafe crib. They were none too happy about it, but they eventually got over it. Safety regulations change as more and more research is done. We know more now than we did 20-30 years ago.

 

[Disneyfan88]

Can you say that you've already been gifted one from someone else and unfortunately don't need it? Otherwise I'd be honest and cite the updates in safety regulations as the primary reason for wanting a new one. Good luck!

 

[Girly922]

If you're not happy using it, be honest about it. Check the width between the bars against today's safety regulations. You could also say that you're buying a nursery furniture set so everything is matching, and that will include a matching cot.

As for the safety of the cot 20 years down the line, DD did and this baby will sleep in a crib that is 43 years old. It was bought for my sister and every baby in the family has used it. It has been sanded and restained a few times and has been well looked after. It is incredibly sturdy and safe, and I love knowing that we've all slept in it.

 

[LoraLoo]

I wouldnt use it- heslth and safety advice and criteria has changed so much in 23 years. Im terrible at confrontation so would probably say Id been bought a new one. I think it's a lovely gesture in their side but nope, Id not be using it x