here is the story if anyone cares to elaborate or give any advice on it: 2 months ago I was dealt what felt like one of the most devestating blows of my life. At 4 months pregnant, after trusting and belieiving that my boyfriend and father of my child would be my side and help provide a loving stable home for our son, i found out he cheated on me. He even went as far as to speak to 10 different women on facebook, having explict and completely inappropriate conversations with them. Reading these conversations was devestating. The way he spoke of me, my pregnancy and his feeling towards his son. Telling these girls that he was "somewhat taken" or "taken but not necessarily by choice." And here I am thinking everything is going fine. I mean of course, we had our fights, but what couple doesn't and of course, a lot of thing had changed with me being pregnant and all, the level of intimacy, my hormones but that is basically to be expected. No matter what though, I did the best I could. After finding out about the infidelity I of course confronted him and decided for the sake of our son to give it another chance. But now, currently, after 6 long months without proper support, many backrubless, attentionless nights and on top of that cheating, i made a decision to no longer be with him. I can remember nights, during the early stages of my pregnancy just feeling so alone, even when he was right next to me, seeing as call of duty was more important than me, or chatting inapporpiately with some girl while i was sleeping right next to him. It hurts bad, but i am just ready to be happy for once in this pregnancy and give my son the peaceful life i know he deserves. The breakup went like this: around 9 am, after him reassuring me of course, that i could call him anytime if i needed anything, (keep in mind we currently do not live together) i called him telling him i was extremely sore (i mean you try being a 100lbs girl at 6 months pregnant) the back pain is killer, i asked him to stop by before work, he agreed, saying he would be over after running errands. After 4 hours, I realized something was strange, so i text him to see what was going on, the whole story he told me just seemed so inconsistant and based on him cheating on me and me finding out a month in a half prior i had just had enough. Its hard to be pregnant, dealing with that and have to deal with wondering what your signifcant is up to all the time, its stressful. I just told him i couldnt do it anymore, he quickly responded saying ok, i love you and i always will goodbye, i feel like he just saw it as an "out" a way for him to get out of his responsiblities and not feel guilty, he didnt even fight for his family, i see it as he wants to be free. i haven't heard from him since about 3 days ago now. not even a call to see how his son is doing and i think that is what hurts me the worst...im just trying to take this day by day, i feel like i have been through so much with him, from his brother calling my son a "nigger baby" to broken promises, to heartaches, i didn't want my son to grow up in a broken home but sometimes sadly, its what is best.
Currently however, i just feel so abandoned and it feels disearning. He insisted at the time that i quit my job and quite honestly i was so sick during the first 4 months of my pregnancy that i couldn't do anything at all to begin with, i became completely dependent on him, which is a very uncomfortable place for me to be seeing as i have always taken care of myself. Now i have to just start over by myself and i am scared but i know i can do it.
