Breaking Up While Pregnant

[Marty_Anj]

Hi! Im 32 weeks preggo on my first baby and my bf told me that he needs"space" so he can figure things out in his life... he said that he is being unfair to me thats why he is letting me go... he told me there is no one else but he just needs timeto think about his life... I AM SO DEVASTATED. i thought he is ready, (he's 13yrs older than i am and already has kids) but then he just walked away.. he said he wants to be with me during my delivery but i cant stand him,i miss him but hearing anything from him kills me... what should i do??

 

[Fluturash2222]

I'm 22 years old and 32 weeks pregnant with my first child, ang going through a breakup.... It started few weeks ago when I started accuseing my bf that he don't give us( me and the baby) any atension, because he started to spend more and more time with his class mates, drinking, partying more then he ever used too, until one day I found some very interesting SMS from this "clasmate" of his... After days of fighting he kind of convinced me that is his group made... To find out now that they are actually together.... I dont really know what to do, I love him... But my hard is broken...never thought he could lay to me like this after 3 years of being in a relation...

 

[cluelessnow]

I'm 34 weeks pregnant. FOB left us a week after we found out I was pregnant, first 3 months he wanted me to terminate, second trimester he wanted to be involved but didn't want me, and now 7 months on I find out his idea of contact with baby will be very limited eg once or twice a year as he lives in another country. The first time I was rejected I stopped contact but a few days ago, got in touch again and got rejected again and now it feels like I'm back at square one. Now no contact again until the birth. It's so hard to move on when LO is growing inside. It's so easy for men to just forget and move on. Here's hoping it'll get easier. Hugs to everyone and thanks for sharing. It's good to know that I'm not alone.

 

[babyenza]

i dated my ex for 7 years and i am currently 5 months pregnant for him. he cheated on me some many times, meeting people, on dating sites, cheated in all aspect. he lied, emotionally drained me, and then he broke up with me. he said he doesn't want to be with me ever again, his already talking to someone. unfortunately i am still in love with him because he was my first love. he drove me out of his place so many times (use to live together). he made me move all the way from Maryland to Virginia. i left all my family and friends and moved 2 hours away. i gave up everything i have for me. now i am in soo much hurt and pain. i don't know people here, im stressed out, depressed and alone. i want to move out of State so bad, but i am not financially strong to do that. its being 4 months and we live 5 mins from each other and i cant stop crying. what should i do? i have so much anger and hatred for him. please i need advice

 

[FutureRewind]

Guilty as charged. I broke up with my ex while she was pregnant. I do not regret doing it as I felt I had no option at the time. Our relationship dynamic just wasnt healthy for her, baby or me. She had expectations that I could never achieve and our age difference proved too much to overcome our issues despite the fact I tried to work at them and offered constant communication, compromise, relationship counselling. I never abandoned her, I loved her, I came to all appointments, started paying money at 4 months gone, took her out when she wasnt criticising me or verbally attacking me (a major factor in why I split up), was at the birth, I hung on as I wanted to try again when baby was born but she just expected baby to make everything alright. It the first thing she said to me when she found out she was pregnant. We werent even back together after a split at that point. Maybe I gave her false hope by sticking around. Should I just have walked away... no way. She's done the vindictive mother thing and we're now in court. What can I do when I ask someone to work out our issues so they dont come up again and they refuse....''its just too negative to talk about the past'' Really!? I dunno. sometimes the FOBs do all they can. It hurts. Yeah.. you've hurt me ex..please stop before you hurt our boy.

 

[baracuda]

My ex and I broke up after a 1 1/2 years of living together. It was a very stressful relationship because I footed most of the living expenses for both of us. He on the other hand used to come up with other excuses for not wanting to work & we always used to argue over this. We got engaged and things changed for a while but afterwards drama started stirring up and we split up. He used to go clubbing with my friends and have drink ups, talking to exes, racking up bills and not helping me with anything, basically thats when he first abandoned me. He went away for 40 days. I hurt and sobbed, lost my appetite, dropped two dress sizes and suffered emotionally. I couldn't find the strength to get help from my doctor. We somehow made communication again and we got back together & he moved back with me. I took him back even though he hurt me. We stayed for a month and I got pregnant just before christmas. We had a silly fight and exchanged words and my ex decided to pack his things and leave. He spent new years Eve with his mates clubbing and messing around with girls and its been driving me mad. I'm depressed and hurt and I feel very betrayed. I have sent him very angry vile texts because I feel like I have been fooled all along. Being there for him supporting him and taking care of him when he did almost nothing for me. He has since told me that he does not care about me and my baby and does not care if I abort. I am a mature 26 year old but I do not feel like I can handle being a single mom. I have told my ex that I am going to abort just to test if he cares and he never responded. I tried talking to his family but they seem not bothered. He has since sent me a picture of him and a naked woman wearing a bra, and him sleeping on her breasts. Just to hurt me. The next day he woke up saying it was his cousin, of which I do not believe. I now feel like I have made a total arse out of myself. I am in my first year of university and am working part time and have no family where I am and I have since lost a few friends because of that relationship. My ex says he regrets ever coming back and regrets me carrying his child and calls me crazy. I just feel used and part of me wants to keep it when another part says its not worth it and I should get rid and start afresh with my life. Please advise I'm always sad, I wake up stressed everyday and i'm in a state of confusion, anger, hurt, depression all at once. I feel hopeless.

 

[Lemonflower]

Please don't feel hopeless baracuda and anyone else. FOB left me at 13 weeks and I have (and still) feel all the pain and sadness you've written above! I questioned myself and even considered adoption as I thought I wouldn't cope and it wouldn't be fair on the baby having such a sad and broken mum.
It IS getting easier though... There are actually days I don't cry!!! Any break up is hard though we have it harder due to all the hormones!
Everyone keeps telling me it just takes time - frustrating but I think and have faith it is true! Like I said I am feeling a little better and looking forward to my little rainbow baby after this awful storm!
I will love him so much more.
xxxx

 

[Jenaroo5]

I ended thinks with FOB after a few weeks of knowing I was pregnant. Sure you have your doubts and you feel completely alone but you have to realize that you don't need a man in your life to love your child and be happy. Try and focus on the little one inside your tum and stay positive. It's a hard and cold road to split up with someone you are having a child with but sometimes it's for the best hunny.

This is soooooooooo true x

 

[justhoping]

Hello there, I am finding myself in a very similar situation, I found a wonderful woman and we got to know each other very good before we started dating, we decided to be exclusive some 3-4 months ago. We both talked about wanting children and we decided to go for it. When we found out that she was pregnant we were both really excited, I have to admit I was a little scared but the fact is that I have wanted children since I was a child. We use to talk everyday and see each other every weekend. a few weeks ago (she is about 10 weeks along right now) she started saying that she was feeling really overwhelmed with everything and that she needed space. I tried to tell her that I really wanted to be with her and that I will give her the space she needs and wait for her to deal with whatever. since then she doesnt talk to me at all, I have told her how excited I am about the baby and that she is going to be a great mother and I could be happier to be having a child with HER! the past couple of weeks she will not reply any e-mails/ txts (I dont even try to call) I told her a couple days ago that, again, that I want to be there for her and support her through everything, she basically told me that she wants to be alone and deal with everyhting by herself and that she doesnt want to be responsible for someone elses happiness and that she doesnt want to be in a relationship with all the doubt that she has. Before the pregnancy the only doubt that she ever talked about was about me leaving (when I reassured her plenty of times how much I care and respect her as a person and such). I ended up replying to her that I understood (which I dont really but I didnt want to push anything) and that I would be here when she does figure everything out. I also said that I hoped she was getting support from somewhere. I have no idea what is going on and it is really hard for me. I want a baby very bad but I didnt want to lose my girlfreind to get it. Is it really the hormones? It just seems that out of no where that she has all this doubt about us and I dont get it because she always told me that she split with her ex-husband because she knew she didnt want to have kids with him. Right now I am expecting and trying to prepare my mind for the worse and hopeing for the best. Is there any advice out there that anyone could offer? thank you.

your story sounds similar to a friend of mine....and this is why i dont talk to hr anymore

she used this guy to get pregnant and then left him out in the cold...he is the nicest guy too..

not saying that this is you...but its so scarily familiar...
'
sorry....best i can say is just let her know ur there and once the baby is born if she is still pushing you away let the courts know how much you would like to share in your childs life...
they wont let her push you out....

good luck

 

[Skywalker]

I know this is a super old thread, I actually came across it on Google... but I'm interested to know from ladies who have gone through it themselves how specifically you handled that tender and intense time before, during and after birth? What type of support system did you have in place if not your man? Still trying to stay strong and not It hasn't even happened for me yet and might not still if things can turn around, but I just want to be prepared if it happens, as it seems likely it will.

 

[shidevil81]

I currently am a mother of 3 and am 11 weeks pregnant. The man of my dreams/soul mate walked out on me this morning before or first prenatal appointment. The last few months have been extremely rock for our family, due to anticipated infidelity on his behalf. Him walking away has become a pattern lately. When this discovery was first made I know longer desired to be with him. But soon after there was talk of his desire to have a child and spend the rest of our life's together. A month later I became pregnant, and since he's withdrawn from me. I probably shouldn't feel sad for his absents , but I do . It hurts all threw my body reaching the pit of my soul. I have never loved anyone so much , and can't understand how I could give this man what he asked for and yet it's not enough. I'm sure as time goes on the pain will subside. it seems so distant , because he not only made an impression on me but my toddlers as well. Not only do I have my own pain but now 2 broken hearted toddler too. So pre occupying my mind from him seems obsolete.

 

[babygirl02201]

I came to this post searching for some kind of strength. ..
I am 35 weeks today and for the 100th time since before I was pregnant, me and the FOB are splitting up. I never did well with break ups because I never wanted to be alone and always felt they would move on and I would be left to look stupid. However, once again we are splitting up.. over a minor fight. Words escalated and resulted in FOB taking his things and leaving. I told him if he takes his things and leave to not come back. In the moment, I surely was heated and just wanted to piss him off more... but a part of me is really tired of the back and fourth. His selfish attitude and all his drama that I've dealt with this whole 8months. When times are good I am really happy and grateful for him.. makes me regret the arguments but they happen too often... my heart is broken because this time he actually left ..
I usually run after but I'm tired of feeling that low and I thought that if he really loved me I shouldn't have to chase after him... Idk what to do. He still wants to be present at birth and coparent. But I just feel I have too many emotions towards the situation to just be okay with that... what should I do?