breastfed babies result in better behaved children?

[sophxx]

^^ theres speaking about it and then just being rude to others its about knowing how to word things this is the internet and things can be taken wrong or in a different tone that you might have written them

sorry ment to quote

 

[KrisKitten]

I have nothing to say other than Ryder you are incredibly insulting and hypocritical, to call other bring mums a generalised and stereotyped insult because u feel they generalise and insult ff mums? Rude.
And crossroads it's women like you that put other breastfeeding mums in that awkward situation of other parents thinking you are judging them. People like you Give us a bad name.

 

[crossroads]

I don't speak on behalf of breastfeeding mums. I speak on behalf of myself. I thought that was obvious.

 

[Kalah]

If you had been posting in a non-argumentative manner then yes, I would have cared. Since that wasn't the case then I see no reason why people can't tell you how they feel when you post the stuff you do in the manner in which you do it.

There are plenty of ways to get your point across without having to be argumentative and rude. There are plenty of pro-breastfeeding people in this thread who have gotten their points across without feeding any stereotypes or digging the ditch between FF moms and BF moms deeper.

I don't believe in handling adult women with kid gloves. If we're mature enough to have kids, then we're mature enough to handle opposing views and/or critizism.

Maturity would be recognizing this topic is sensitive to some people and finding a way to say how you feel without being abrasive. If you think something you say will be offensive and can't find a way to re-word it then you should either a) reconsider if it is really necessary to say; or b) use a nice tone, make it clear what you are and are not implying, and don't add any extra argumentative statements.

ETA: And if someone starts an argument with you, just be the bigger person and don't even reply.

 

[skunkpixie]

But Crossroads you are labelling yourself as a breastfeeding mum and a member of the breastfeeding community. I certainly know that you dont speak for all bf mums as I definatley dont agree with your views, but some people might not see it that way.

 

[moomin_troll]

crossroads u remind me of my mother in law. and thats not a good thing.
she also talks like u and offends people with everyword.

ive had my mil round mine today, ive not seen her in months and she then says to be are u going to try and breastfeed this time (in the same tone ur messages have come across)
i did try to bf my first, she didnt see me cry in pain and it was my oh who had enough of seeing me hurt so much and made zane his first bottle.

she never saw me try even tho my oh had told her i had tried to bf zane. i was so mad at myself for "giving up"
but u like my mil didnt see my pain and u cant see into any of our homes so u can not judge people who dont live like u. id of loved to been able to bf my first like u.

 

[crossroads]

crossroads u remind me of my mother in law. and thats not a good thing.
she also talks like u and offends people with everyword.

ive had my mil round mine today, ive not seen her in months and she then says to be are u going to try and breastfeed this time (in the same tone ur messages have come across)
i did try to bf my first, she didnt see me cry in pain and it was my oh who had enough of seeing me hurt so much and made zane his first bottle.

she never saw me try even tho my oh had told her i had tried to bf zane. i was so mad at myself for "giving up"
but u like my mil didnt see my pain and u cant see into any of our homes so u can not judge people who dont live like u. id of loved to been able to bf my first like u.

Breastfeeding is hard. I was in pain too in the early months. I also had very bad PND. None of my family have breastfed so no one could help me. So I came online for support. I battled through it.

Only 2% of women "can't" breastfeed. So what's going on with the other 98%?

 

[moomin_troll]

and yet u still have to be judgemental! u dont no what type of pain i was in so u cant compare and u have no idea that my son actualy hated breastfeeding himself.
u are not in every womans home so u well no one actualy has any idea if that percentage is correct.

as another member has said u do seem to just be up ur own ass!

 

[bathbabe]

crossroads u remind me of my mother in law. and thats not a good thing.
she also talks like u and offends people with everyword.

ive had my mil round mine today, ive not seen her in months and she then says to be are u going to try and breastfeed this time (in the same tone ur messages have come across)
i did try to bf my first, she didnt see me cry in pain and it was my oh who had enough of seeing me hurt so much and made zane his first bottle.

she never saw me try even tho my oh had told her i had tried to bf zane. i was so mad at myself for "giving up"
but u like my mil didnt see my pain and u cant see into any of our homes so u can not judge people who dont live like u. id of loved to been able to bf my first like u.

Breastfeeding is hard. I was in pain too in the early months. I also had very bad PND. None of my family have breastfed so no one could help me. So I came online for support. I battled through it.
Only 2% of women "can't" breastfeed. So what's going on with the other 98%?

Obviously they arnt as brilliantly narrow minded as you.

 

[meldmac]

crossroads u remind me of my mother in law. and thats not a good thing.
she also talks like u and offends people with everyword.

ive had my mil round mine today, ive not seen her in months and she then says to be are u going to try and breastfeed this time (in the same tone ur messages have come across)
i did try to bf my first, she didnt see me cry in pain and it was my oh who had enough of seeing me hurt so much and made zane his first bottle.

she never saw me try even tho my oh had told her i had tried to bf zane. i was so mad at myself for "giving up"
but u like my mil didnt see my pain and u cant see into any of our homes so u can not judge people who dont live like u. id of loved to been able to bf my first like u.

Breastfeeding is hard. I was in pain too in the early months. I also had very bad PND. None of my family have breastfed so no one could help me. So I came online for support. I battled through it.

Only 2% of women "can't" breastfeed. So what's going on with the other 98%?

Wow....I wasn't going to respond to this thread again. The problem with using statistics for an argument is it doesn't consider every single factor in why women can't breastfeed. Maybe consider there are other reasons that some people may not be able to breastfeed instead of being so closed minded. You say you're passionate about bf'ing, great that's wonderful. What I don't understand is why you can't be passionate and also have some ounce of decency to actually respect others as well. I would have loved to bf, however I couldn't not because I didn't try but for many different reasons it didn't work out. My son would have starved if I hadn't of put him on formula. I feel bad enough about it as it is, without people who are so closed minded like you that can't see past their own views.

It's people that have your attitude that make people that have trouble with bf'ing feel uncomfortable trying to get help because they worry they will be judged by people like you.

You talk about handling adults with kid gloves, it has nothing to do with kid gloves it has to do with respect. You get defensive when someone challenges you, yet you expect others to respect your views. It goes both ways. You can't expect others to respect your views when you wont do the same for them. You also brought up the mature card, mature adults respect others views even if they don't agree with them.

 

[beccybobeccy]

crossroads u remind me of my mother in law. and thats not a good thing.
she also talks like u and offends people with everyword.

ive had my mil round mine today, ive not seen her in months and she then says to be are u going to try and breastfeed this time (in the same tone ur messages have come across)
i did try to bf my first, she didnt see me cry in pain and it was my oh who had enough of seeing me hurt so much and made zane his first bottle.

she never saw me try even tho my oh had told her i had tried to bf zane. i was so mad at myself for "giving up"
but u like my mil didnt see my pain and u cant see into any of our homes so u can not judge people who dont live like u. id of loved to been able to bf my first like u.

Breastfeeding is hard. I was in pain too in the early months. I also had very bad PND. None of my family have breastfed so no one could help me. So I came online for support. I battled through it.

Only 2% of women "can't" breastfeed. So what's going on with the other 98%?

What are you talking about though? Are you talking about those who don't even try? or those that don't last a week? a month? 6 months? a year?

When do you get handed with your breastfeeding medal? You throw statistics around like they back you up but you are just grossly generalising.

 

[moomin_troll]

crossroads u remind me of my mother in law. and thats not a good thing.
she also talks like u and offends people with everyword.

ive had my mil round mine today, ive not seen her in months and she then says to be are u going to try and breastfeed this time (in the same tone ur messages have come across)
i did try to bf my first, she didnt see me cry in pain and it was my oh who had enough of seeing me hurt so much and made zane his first bottle.

she never saw me try even tho my oh had told her i had tried to bf zane. i was so mad at myself for "giving up"
but u like my mil didnt see my pain and u cant see into any of our homes so u can not judge people who dont live like u. id of loved to been able to bf my first like u.

Breastfeeding is hard. I was in pain too in the early months. I also had very bad PND. None of my family have breastfed so no one could help me. So I came online for support. I battled through it.

Only 2% of women "can't" breastfeed. So what's going on with the other 98%?

What are you talking about though? Are you talking about those who don't even try? or those that don't last a week? a month? 6 months? a year?

When do you get handed with your breastfeeding medal?

im happy to have atleast tried, and even tho i had a bad time ile try again. but others are right its people like crossroads who do give other bf mums a bad rep.

my best friend breastfeed her girls for along time and shes never judged me once for not being in my mind able to

 

[bathbabe]

I didnt breastfeed and it wasnt because i couldnt or didnt want to but because it was best for our family at the time.
I fully support anyone who wants to bf, i have never ever said anything negative about bf, yes breast is best, in theory, but it isnt for everyone.
If people talked about breastfeeding the same way as some talk bout ff they would be kicked off this site before they had a chance to defend themselves.

 

[Kalah]

and yet u still have to be judgemental! u dont no what type of pain i was in so u cant compare and u have no idea that my son actualy hated breastfeeding himself.
u are not in every womans home so u well no one actualy has any idea if that percentage is correct.

as another member has said u do seem to just be up ur own ass!

I can relate to this. I remember how much it hurt at the start and I didn't even have any thrush or mastitis or bleeding nipples! When my LO was around 6 months old and got her first 2 teeth she bit a hole in each nipple and OMG it HURT!! I was so happy that she didn't eat as often as a newborn. This pain was what made me stop co-sleeping, I couldn't sleep through the pain. I even tried switching to bottles, tried two different types, but it was too late and she wouldn't accept it. So I can truly say I understand why some women can't make it through the pain.

_________________


As for percentages, some women simply do not want to breast feed at all. Other women run into so many problems that continuing to breast feed just does not feel like an option. Yes breast is best, but everyone knows that already, we're lucky to live in a time when there is the option of formula so mothers are able to have a healthy bond with their baby rather than resenting them for all the pain.

Because of people who breastfeed and have a superior attitude to others I now feel like I should hide the fact that I BF just to avoid making other women feel uncomfortable in baby groups. It's kind of silly that so much emphasis is put on this anyway, you'd have a hard time picking out who was BF and who was FF in a huge group of adults.

 

[moomin_troll]

and yet u still have to be judgemental! u dont no what type of pain i was in so u cant compare and u have no idea that my son actualy hated breastfeeding himself.
u are not in every womans home so u well no one actualy has any idea if that percentage is correct.

as another member has said u do seem to just be up ur own ass!

I can relate to this. I remember how much it hurt at the start and I didn't even have any thrush or mastitis or bleeding nipples! When my LO was around 6 months old and got her first 2 teeth she bit a hole in each nipple and OMG it HURT!! I was so happy that she didn't eat as often as a newborn. This pain was what made me stop co-sleeping, I couldn't sleep through the pain. I even tried switching to bottles, tried two different types, but it was too late and she wouldn't accept it. So I can truly say I understand why some women can't make it through the pain.

_________________


As for percentages, some women simply do not want to breast feed at all. Other women run into so many problems that continuing to breast feed just does not feel like an option. Yes breast is best, but everyone knows that already, we're lucky to live in a time when there is the option of formula so mothers are able to have a healthy bond with their baby rather than resenting them for all the pain.

Because of people who breastfeed and have a superior attitude to others I now feel like I should hide the fact that I BF just to avoid making other women feel uncomfortable in baby groups. It's kind of silly that so much emphasis is put on this anyway, you'd have a hard time picking out who was BF and who was FF in a huge group of adults.

ouch!
i cant say zane bit thru my nipple but the pain was like nothing, the mws wouldnt help try and find out why....its only now that im thinking he could of possibly been tongue tied which is why he couldnt latch and he hated it so much. he was just so hungry and frustrated and bottles were best for him. i still hate myself that i couldnt feed him the way i wanted to but as his mum i did what was best for him.

i just really hate it when ff mums are judged and the person judging as no idea why the other person is ff. no one could see me other then my oh and i had him in tears because i was hurting so much

 

[Tiff]

Moomin. Some people just have a very hard time putting themselves in other people's shoes. I think one person said it best, you just gotta own your decision. Yes, you did (as did I) make the choice that was best for us. Can't let the sanctimonious people out there make you feel like you did something wrong. Or that you failed your kiddo in ANY way!

Yes, breast is best. I think there needs to be more support and information out there. I see so many areas that don't have good help. I remember in the hospital I had a nurse get mad at me because the only way I could breastfeed Claire was lying down. To me, I was breastfeeding! Damn right! But she came in and shat all over the fact that I was doing it wrong.

There's always going to be some person off in the corner who thinks they do everything better than everyone else. But to the pro-breastfeeding ladies on here who have stated their feelings and not been uppity or snarky about it: THANK YOU. That's what is giving me courage to try again if I ever have another baby. Not being looked down on, percentages thrown in my face and accusations.

 

[moomin_troll]

ive been thru too much in my life for some jacked up person to really effect me but some people just need to wake up!
my son doesnt care how he was fed, hes a amazing little boy so other then being a totaly horrible mother for not putting him thru the frustration of bf i think ive done a ok job.

if when he grows up he becomes a axe murderer im sure lack of breastmilk wil be to blame hahaha

 

[aragornlover8]

Moomin. Some people just have a very hard time putting themselves in other people's shoes. I think one person said it best, you just gotta own your decision. Yes, you did (as did I) make the choice that was best for us. Can't let the sanctimonious people out there make you feel like you did something wrong. Or that you failed your kiddo in ANY way!

Yes, breast is best. I think there needs to be more support and information out there. I see so many areas that don't have good help. I remember in the hospital I had a nurse get mad at me because the only way I could breastfeed Claire was lying down. To me, I was breastfeeding! Damn right! But she came in and shat all over the fact that I was doing it wrong.

There's always going to be some person off in the corner who thinks they do everything better than everyone else. But to the pro-breastfeeding ladies on here who have stated their feelings and not been uppity or snarky about it: THANK YOU. That's what is giving me courage to try again if I ever have another baby. Not being looked down on, percentages thrown in my face and accusations.

This is really well said. While I might have been defensive in some threads about my reasons for FF (although I do hope I've never been rude ), I really appreciate the women here who support BF. I know I didn't produce enough milk this time, but I hope that it was due to a lot of extraneous factors - she was premature, I had a pretty long and drawn-out labor, and I had to have a c-section after two days of no progress - I really do want to try BF again with our next baby, when/if we have one, and it's because of some of the brilliant posts on this forum by pro-BFers.

 

[moomin_troll]

it is great to see some of the bf support u can get on this thread, just ashame its ruined by others.

ive already had a lovely lady on here offering her support and help in anyway she can while i try and bf baby 2 and she didnt even make one bad comment on my first son being ff

 

[tiger]

crossroads - i dread to think how you will feel IF for some reason you CANT breastfeed your second baby
Everyone knows breast is best. but you have to think of the circumstances for a womans reason not to BF. was there baby in special care? was it doctor advised? baby didnt latch? etc... there is not just one simple answer as to why someone didnt breastfeed.
Maybe a mother had to go back to work straight away and couldnt express?
Before you generalise FF mums, try walking a mile in their shoes before the haters eat you alive and see how it feels to be put down and told that we dont care about our babies.

rant over