Breastfeeding around older children

[preggerslady]

This is something I hadn't even considered as an issue until last night. I'm jumping in from the third trimester forum to get some opinions, as my hubby and I seem to be on different pages! I have an almost 3 year old at home and we will be welcoming his sister in a week, and I plan to EBF just like I did last time. Only last time, it was just me and baby at home, so I didn't give a thought to covering up or keeping it private etc! My husband told me last night that he doesn't think our toddler needs to see that, and that we should make sure he doesn't get "confused or upset" by breastfeedings... I would never have thought that this would be a NEGATIVE thing for him to be around, but I am much more open than my husband is. I would love some of your experiences or thoughts on the subject!!!!!

 

[joeyjo]

There isn't an issue with an older child seeing you feed at all! Only real issue is your husband! It is right that your child learns about feeding etc and how to nurture a baby. There is a chance your child may be jealous of the new baby getting your attention but that isn't going to change if you hide breastfeeding. The topsy and tim book about the new baby shows breastfeeding as the norm as do others which may be nice to read with your little one, or a trip to a zoo/farm to show mummies feeding babies - these may help your DH too!

 

[krysb]

what! my 15 month old definitely thinks that my breasts are for feeding his brother, so an older kid would likely have an even greater understanding of it. there's nothing embarrassing about it to them at this age.

 

[Hangin_On_AGS]

I breast feed out and open infront of the children I baby sit boy-3 girl-18 months, My nanny girls 7 & 11 My cousins aged 1-14. All of them think it's totally normal infact i'm pretty sure they would be shocked if i fed her a bottle and thats when they would take notice.

your toddler won't be upset or distraught as long as you just let him no baby drinks mommy milk no big deal.. My 4 year old niece will look at my daughter when shes hungry and say it's ok baby mia the boob is coming ( yes she was cutesy taught that by us..) but she only sees it maybe once a month and it's just whatever to her even..

Kids are innocent until society teaches them different.. if i were you I would tell your oh to get over himself.

 

[bananaz]

People have been breastfeeding new babies with older siblings around for thousands of years. Really, little kids shouldn't have any negative or sexual associations with breasts. They're just another body part, and it won't be a big deal unless an adult makes it a big deal. Trying to hide nursing at home would make it seem like you're doing something suspicious and "bad" (and it would be a big pain for you!).

 

[dizzy65]

I breast feed my son in front of my older son and he is 3.. i explained to him at the begining about it and he was a little confused at first but now, he is understanding of what i have to do and why and ect i dont think there is anything wrong with breast feeding in front of the older siblings!

 

[meli1981]

I bf infront of my eight yo! Its normal and natural and you shouldnt need to cover up in your own home!

 

[NoodleSnack]

Your boy doesn't have the social awareness to think that there is something wrong with bf or not yet, you can teach him whether it's okay or not by hiding it or letting him see mummy feedshis younger siblings as something normal. Your husband needs to set a better example for his son. Saying that, toddler sometimes reverts to baby behaviour when there's a new baby in the house, my niece started to ask for bottle again when her sister was newborn, I wouldn't know how to say no if that happens, that's what I worry about when I imagine another child, wouldn't stop me bf in front of him though.

 

[Misscalais]

I breast fed DS2 in front of Ds1 ( although he was only 14 months when Ds2 was born ) and he just used to come sit next to me and hold my hand or not even bother with me at all and went his merry way. I'll be breast feeding this bubby in front of my boys as well, when they ask ill tell them that that's where baby gets his/her milk from and that that's where they got milk from when they were tiny babies too
People need to stop sexualising breasts. They were made to lactate and feed our kids. It just happens to be that men get some excitement out of them too lol

 

[spunky84]

I don't think your son would get confused or upset by breastfeeding unless you put it out there that he should be. I think if you just explain to him that it's a natural, normal thing and that this is how baby is fed, I think your 3 yr old will adjust and accept it as natural and normal. I think it's all about your attitude about it. If you treat it like it is something that you should hide or be ashamed of or whatever, then he will likely get confused or upset.

 

[history_girls]

My 4 year old sees me do it all the time. I can't hide it from her. She hasn't batted an eyelid about it. The only Thing we've had is discussion about why her daddy or auntie can't feed the baby. These have been very amusing but she knows now that it is just mummy.

 

[Tacey]

I only see it as positive! A bit of a moot point for me, as I'm actually nursing the older one too, but any exposure to seeing babies breastfeeding is healthy in my book. I wonder how your OH thinks it might be upsetting. Is he worried your eldest will be jealous perhaps?

 

[babyface15]

doesn't need to see mommies boobies? he's three! he will probably join you in change rooms and bathrooms for a few more years still.

If your husbands problem is modesty or some misguided view that boobs are meant for men to oogle over then you guys should work this out soon before baby comes or your son may inherit some of these opinions, which are sexist and outdated. If it's just that he's afraid baby will be jealous then you can also talk to him because that's a normal part of being an older sibling and no reason to not bf or hide away like you're doing something wrong! I agree with the other women, bf in private will teach your boy there is something inherently wrong and shameful about bfing.. which is idea many of us are fighting to change every day.

 

[Pielette]

Wow. Sounds like he's coming from the male point of view of sexualising boobs. His son is an innocent three year old who sees boobs as another body part, no more no less. There is no reason why he should be upset or confused about seeing them.

My almost 2 year old sees it constantly and I've never thought to cover up. Granted he's younger but still I don't see an issue with a toddler seeing breastfeeding whatever the age. He also sees me in the bath and I have no plans to stop that anytime soon either I want him to be comfortable with nudity (in private of course) and understand that men and women have different body parts.

If your son was 13 then fair enough but I think he needs to try to see the world from a three year old's point of view and not an adult's.

 

[DianaB]

I actually think that it's a positive thing to breastfeed around older children as it normalizes it for them. I breastfeed in front of my toddler, both my husbands step-siblings who are a teenage girl and a teenage boy and my younger sisters. It doesn't seem to bother any of them they just know I'm feeding the baby.

 

[Rachel_C]

Sounds like your OH could have done to be around more breastfeeding when he was a boy!

 

[Jadie]

If you hide it from him he will think it's not normal. My gran hid it from my mum and she didn't breastfeed because of that.

 

[snowfia]

There is no way you can hide it from him realistically. And there's no reason to anyway. Breastfeeding is never going to be 'normalised' if children are taught it should be hidden away.

 

[MommyJogger]

I think ostracizing an older child away from the family unit during the inevitably frequent feeds would confuse and upset him, not feeding a baby in front of him. I nurse in our 0-3yo room at daycare and the 3yos don't even notice most of the time. When they do, it's just to remark that Joseph is hungry or thirsty. A precious little girl asked me if I was a cat once because "that's how her cat feeds her kitties". Whispered it to me like she was going to keep my secret about being feline, lol, then said it was okay because her mom's secretly a cat, too, but they can't tell anyone because "people think cat-people are weird".

 

[babyface15]

tehehe cute mommy jogger