Broken after second MC in a row

[chocolatechip]

Just a little background info:

DH is 31 and I am 30. We are trying (desperately) to conceive our first baby.

We tried for 3 months, got pregnant, and MC'd at 4w3d.

Tried again for 6 months, got pregnant and I just found out on Friday that at 8w1d there wasn't even anything in the gestational sac. I'm assuming blighted ovum but still have to officially meet with my doctor on Monday. Now I'm waiting to miscarry.

I know there are stories of women who have had 2 MCs, then finally had their healthy rainbow (and I would love to hear more of those!) but I am just having such a hard time with this. Part of me wants to give up, even though I really do want a family.

We just moved into a brand new home that we were building with the hopes of filling it with a small family, and now I just so feel so empty and broken. Not sure what else to say other than the fact that I'd love any form of support or advice on how to get through the next little while.

 

[Emma241179]

Hello lovely,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss- it truly is the worst feeling in the world to lose something so precious to you.

I just wanted to offer some support and sympathy.. I too have just gone through my second loss back to back (both around 5 weeks) and have felt pretty emotionally crushed by it all. I am going for some basic blood tests today that I have paid for privately as the NHS won't do any investigations until you've had 3 MC's.. I do already have one 2.5 year old little boy so things are a little different for me; but that longing feeling is still very much there- we want another little one to complete our family not just for us but for him too. I did have some complications (IUGR) during my pregnancy with him and I am wondering if there is something underlying both this and my recent losses.

Please try and stay positive- when you look at all the statistics and research the overarching conclusion is that the majority of women, even those who experience recurrent loss, will go on to concieve and carry to term. Sending love and prayers for your rainbow baby xxx

 

[lesondemavie]

Oh chocolate, my heart breaks to see this news. While all losses are difficult my 8+1 loss was far more challenging to process than my chemical at 4+3. Odd how we went through losses at the same weeks, mine were just reversed. It took me 5 months to conceive my first, and 6 months to conceive my second. Just 2 months after that and I'm pregnant again with what I can only hope is my healthy rainbow. I am under the care of an RE now and it makes such a big difference. We did find that I have subclinical hypothyroidism, and so I am on hormonal support for that. We've checked my hcg all this past week, and now I get to see my baby on the screen every week (or more if I want). She also checks in on my progesterone and estrogen and changes my dose as needed. I know how incredibly difficult it is to try again after it taking a while and going through a missed miscarriage, but just bc it happened that way before doesn't mean it will happen that way again. I keep pinching myself. I can't believe I'm pregnant again when both other times took more than twice as long. I will keep you in my thoughts and please feel free to reach out for support or with questions any time you need . You are not alone xxx.

 

[Trying4first1]

So sorry to hear of your losses.
I have had 3 losses in 27 months but I am now 6 weeks pregnant again after trying for quite a while. I am absolutely petrified but I am taking it a day at a time.
I think that after a loss that is also the best thing to do. I stopped focusing too far ahead and concentrated a bit more on the here and now. I threw myself into my work and made extra days out with friends and family.
You have a good chance of having a healthy pregnancy next time. Even after 3 losses your chances are pretty good. After two you have the same chance as someone who hasn't miscarried.
Take care of yourself and take all the time you need to heal. Don't feel like you should give yourself a time limit.
I still think about my MMC back in january but I'm thinking maybe this baby is the one I'm meant to have. If not this one maybe the one after. Sadly it is so out of our control.
Good luck

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I've been there too and I offer you all the in the world!

I've had three losses though back-to-back. Mine was secondary infertility though because I already had two children. We went through numerous testing and still never found a reason why they happened. They speculated that it was possible that my first one was probably from chromosome abnormalties because it just never developed properly. There was a fetus but no heartbeat. I had a D&C a week after the ultrasound and was absolutely shattered. I was luckily able to get pregnant almost immediately (D&C was in October and I was pregnant by January) but again when I had a scan done at 8 weeks, there was no heartbeat. What I didn't know was that I had a uterine infection post D&C. I was having cramping but I associated it with the effects of surgery. After that one I had to endure another D&C because they wanted to thoroughly clean out my uterus and put me on antibiotics to get rid of the infection.

Again I became pregnant rather quickly. By April, I found out I was expecting again... and yet again it wasn't meant to be. This one was a blighted ovum, meaning it never developed a fetal pole, just an empty sac with an enlarged yolk. You could imagine the despair I felt. I became a bit depressed as well. This time I decided to miscarry naturally. DH and I decided to try one last time and if it happened again, we would just be satisfied having two children (although we really wanted a big family) but this time it took quite a bit of time. It didn't help my depression at all so I went on meds for a short time. Finally I was able to relax and let my body regulate itself. By Christmas, we were pregnant again... and this time it stuck! My rainbow DD was born this August

As you can see, I went through a long road as well. The wait was torture, but it was worth it in the end. We're contemplating having one more, though my history of miscarriage will always be in the back of my mind. I was on edge the entire first trimester with my rainbow. Finally at about 25 weeks I began to breathe again. I hope you will be blessed with your rainbow too. Keep your head up... there is always light at the end of the tunnel to those who believe.

 

[Trying4first1]

This gives us all so much hope x

 

[chocolatechip]

Thank all of you for your words of encouragement. These stories are wonderful to hear!

 

[flou]

It took me nearly 4 years ttc and 2 losses before I had my gorgeous little boy. It took us awhile each time to conceive and then both losses ended when I was 6 weeks pg. I went to see a FS and myself and DH had basic fertility testing and all was ok. But they wouldn't do any testing on recurrent mc until I had another. So the third time I felt like I was ttc to have another mc. However, I was third time lucky! And even though I went through a rollercoaster of a time mentally and emotionally, my little boy was worth it. I know its hard but keep faith and hope that you will get your rainbow baby. I hope it happens soon for you. They will be worth the wait!

 

[EverythingXd]

So sorry for your losses I had 2 MCs back to back last year (I already had 2 sons).

My first MC was an ectopic, in early January. I lost an ovary, and had 4 pints blood transfusion. I was then delighted to conceive again only a few months later... had a scan at 6 weeks to check baby in the right place, saw heartbeat, but then got to 12 week scan end of June and baby had died at 8+5.

I thought that was it... I turned 41 in early May this year, was having night sweats some nights so thought I was peri-menopausal although AF was still regular. Then late May I got my BFP! I'm now 28 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby

 

[nessaw]

Hi I'm sorry for your losses. We had 3 mcs before our rainbow. It took 2 years to get our first bfp-ended in a blighted ovum @9 weeks. It took another year for the 2nd which was twins. We lost them to twin to twin transfusion @15 weeks. This was the hardest-we were devastated. I actually fell pg relatively quickly-5 months later. We had an early scan-all ok at 7 weeks then an unexplained mmc @11 weeks. After this we gave up. But about 6 months later we went for one last try spurred on by my cousin announcing her pg. We were under the consultant and on progesterone and aspirin. It was very difficult mentally. I didn't believe we would get her until she was in our arms and even now I don't sometimes! I wish you all the very best.xx

 

[mimi4]

Hi, I am sorry for yr losses. I think there is no need to panic, as even after experiencing two miscarriages, yr chances of having a miscarriage a third time aren't much higher than if y never had one. After three consecutive pregnancy losses, you would be wise to have a complete medical evaluation to see if there are any underlying medical reasons that increase your chances of having a miscarriage. During the first trimester, the most common cause of miscarriage is chromosomal abnormality that can be detected by PGS NGS diagnosis

 

[Dragonfly8491]

Just a little background info:

DH is 31 and I am 30. We are trying (desperately) to conceive our first baby.

We tried for 3 months, got pregnant, and MC'd at 4w3d.

Tried again for 6 months, got pregnant and I just found out on Friday that at 8w1d there wasn't even anything in the gestational sac. I'm assuming blighted ovum but still have to officially meet with my doctor on Monday. Now I'm waiting to miscarry.

I know there are stories of women who have had 2 MCs, then finally had their healthy rainbow (and I would love to hear more of those!) but I am just having such a hard time with this. Part of me wants to give up, even though I really do want a family.

We just moved into a brand new home that we were building with the hopes of filling it with a small family, and now I just so feel so empty and broken. Not sure what else to say other than the fact that I'd love any form of support or advice on how to get through the next little while.

I haven't been active here since i got mu BFP just a day or two after you got your last BFP. I was reading through the bfp symptoms by dpo when i stumbled upon yours and read that you have miscarried. I am really sorry for your loss.

I miscarried as well, at 11 weeks, baby stopped growing at end of 6weeks.

Please don't give up, I am sure you wil sooner or later hold your rainbow baby in your arms and you'll be the happiest person on Earth and he/she will be perfect! But for this to happen you need to keep on trying. I know people are different and some need more time to cope with the loss than other



PS me and my boyfriend also moved in into our new home, we just bought our first house together. I understand how stressful it is to see your dreams collapsing when all was just so idyllic and perfect

 

[LuBru]

I am going through my third loss in a row, no children yet so far, that is why I joined this website to get support. Tonight is a hard night and these stories give me hope, thank you ladies for taking the time to post.

 

[lesondemavie]

LuBru - I started a thread for those of us ttc #1 after loss. Most of us girls who started out there on the thread are now expecting, but there are a few left. Trying just went through her 4th loss, and Bronte is just starting her second IVF cycle after they failed to get any viable embryos from the first. They are both a wonderful source of support, and I'm sure they'd love your support as well. Those of us now expecting are still around too but more in the background. We all remember exactly what it felt like as though it was yesterday, and are still there cheering everyone on. Sending love and healing your way .

Here is the link if you want to join: https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/t...-1-al-buddies-2016-newcomers-welcome-155.html

 

[mayacat]

I'm so sorry I know how you feel. We have our one daughter but I desperately want her to have a couple of siblings and we just lost two in a row as well.

I ended up venting about this loss on Facebook and from there, found several friends who I didn't know had had miscarriages actually had them. A couple have had several and have a couple of healthy children. I know of at least two friends who had 2 or more before their first child. They have 2 and 3 kids now. When I feel down and feel like we'll never have another, I think of all of the people I know who have gone through the same thing and I feel some hope. I hope you will as well.

Odds are, the next one will work. I'm rooting for ya! Don't give up yet.

 

[mimi4]

LuBru I am sorry to read yr story. I think it's time to check in with yr doc, as you have experienced 3 consecutive mcs. I would recommend asking yr doc to dig deeper to find out reasons why you can't conceive. Or even I would advise to combine yr treatment with pgs ngs diagnosis, if genetics is the issue to maximize yr chances of getting a problem-free pregnancy Good luck x