Bullying, what to do?

[Iveneverseen]

So we are regular customers at a soft play place, we have a membership and have been going 2-3times a week for the past 6 years.

Never had a problem there until yesterday. Myself, my best friend, her little girl and my three children all went to the soft play.

Not long after arriving my 9 year old daughter came up crying and saying these 4 girls had been ganging up on her one punched her on the forehead and were calling her nasty names.
I told her to go back and play and me and my friend would walk slowly behind her and keep an eye on things should anything happen again.

whilst we were doing this the 4 girls were being nasty staring at her in a horrid way calling her a bitch, following her around and running back and forth to their parents.

soon after this my friend was next to my daughter when one girl had grabbed her hair and yanked it so hard she was distraught and was in tears, and held her head for quite a while after.

my friend told me and we both were very angry, they ran back to their parents and my friend followed and asked where their parents where.
I followed my friend. my friend went up to the father and told him what had happened and the little girls were denying it and my friend said she seen it and one said I was there too. the father just shrugged and walked off not caring.

we were both annoyed and the mother stormed up and spoke to my friend, then she came back and was saying she believed her daughters and wasn't taking any responsibility or showing any remorse for her kids actions. she also claimed one of her little angels said that my friend went to smack her child which was an absolute lie. I was there and my friend would never hit a child.

so we were both really annoyed and we had words, the staff got involved and we went to sit down and speak to the manager and she asked us not to leave and said their behaviour was unacceptable and offered us a free drink.

she also spoke to them and came back to us. she told us she was going to look at the cctv and that the kids were now saying my friend never went to smack them.

the family left soon after the mother staring over at us with the filthiest looks.

my daughter never went back in to the play area still shaken up and holding her head.

today I had spoke to the manager through private mail and she hadn't yet looked at cctv and said she would get back to me on Monday but didn't seem like she was that bothered or really saw the seriousness in the situation. she also offered to cancel my membership if I wanted.

I chat to one of the staff that also work with her and she told me today that the manager had said that they seemed a lovely family and offered them a free entry on Monday as a goodwill gesture and she had the impression I was in the wrong.

also I may mention that these people are not regulars and in fact have only ever been twice. (and their kids are causing havoc)

I am really upset, angry and disappointed in this.

not only was my daughter bullied, punched in the head and hair pulled, my friend was accused of something she didn't do. and the parents and management accept no responsibility for this.

I am really unsure what to do about it. i think that her giving them free entry on Monday is showing them a good message and a good will gesture for what they are the ones that assaulted my child and accused my friend of something she did not do.

 

[Jes.shortcake]

Me and that mother would be settling it in the parking lot...and we'll exchange more then just words.

 

[smileyfaces]

Oh dear no advice but that sounds horrid! Hugs for your little girl x

 

[Bex84]

Your poor lo. I hate soft plays for this reason. I took lo other day and there were a group of 3-4 year olds going around pushing, hitting and threatening. They tried it with my 2 year old and didnt realise i was behind her, they told lo she wasent allowed on equiptment and when to push her off. I told them that my lo was allowed and when they were at soft play they had to share. They ran off. The parents were not watching them and i saw them several other times trying to bully little ones. Its no wonder you get bullies when parents cant be bothered to correct children even before they start school. I would probably go in and demand to see cctv footage and ask for contact information for persons boss over her handling of situation.

 

[Logan's Mum]

If its only happened once to you theres not much they can do. They will look at it as kids having a "bad day", a one-off. Calling a child a "bitch" by another child is a bit of a shocker though. If you have not seen them before then chances are they wont be back. The amount of "bad behaviour" in soft plays is huge, if all kids who were bad just once were barred they would be very empty places. ..

 

[RaspberryK]

I'd be demanding they look at the cctv and that they would find what'd happened and you expect the good will gesture to the other family to be withdrawn and tell them they are unwelcome in the future.
Are there a set of their rules you can read through and quote?
Xx

 

[vaniilla]

I'd be demanding they look at the cctv and that they would find what'd happened and you expect the good will gesture to the other family to be withdrawn and tell them they are unwelcome in the future.
Are there a set of their rules you can read through and quote?
Xx

This is what I would do too. If after you have suggested this they still refuse to be helpful or acknowledge what happened then I would choose to go somewhere else and not give money to an establishment that considers such behaviour acceptable.

 

[Iveneverseen]

If its only happened once to you theres not much they can do. They will look at it as kids having a "bad day", a one-off. Calling a child a "bitch" by another child is a bit of a shocker though. If you have not seen them before then chances are they wont be back. The amount of "bad behaviour" in soft plays is huge, if all kids who were bad just once were barred they would be very empty places. ..

Why isn't there anything that can be done though?
It's not silliness and pushing. my daughter was ganged up on by 4 girls called a bitch punched in the head and hair pulled so hard she was in tears and holding her head for a while after.

so I don't think this is acceptable, but actually pretty serious.
plus if the management are doing squat and encouraging it by offering freebies of cource they will be back.

even some of the staff though she was in the wrong.

 

[Incubus]

If its only happened once to you theres not much they can do. They will look at it as kids having a "bad day", a one-off. Calling a child a "bitch" by another child is a bit of a shocker though. If you have not seen them before then chances are they wont be back. The amount of "bad behaviour" in soft plays is huge, if all kids who were bad just once were barred they would be very empty places. ..

Why isn't there anything that can be done though?
It's not silliness and pushing. my daughter was ganged up on by 4 girls called a bitch punched in the head and hair pulled so hard she was in tears and holding her head for a while after.

so I don't think this is acceptable, but actually pretty serious.
plus if the management are doing squat and encouraging it by offering freebies of cource they will be back.

even some of the staff though she was in the wrong.

Being punched the head is absolutely unacceptable, it's assault!

Personally I'd keep pushing the matter with the manager and if your unfortunate enough to be in the same situation with the same family again I'd be very tempted to call the police, especially with the parents attitude.

 

[TTCabundle]

Id definitely be asking.to see the cctv yourself! That is disgusting ! I hope your LO is okay! xx

 

[Iveneverseen]

Thanks Ladies I will ask to see cctv myself as I am not confident the manager will be entirely helpful or truthful on the matter going by what one of the staff has told me. can she refuse? a few family/friends I've told thinks I should write to the head office. was hoping for an apology and banning them after their behaviour as my daughter was attacked and we are regulars. not them being given free entry. just worry about seeing this family there again. x

 

[mummylove]

Can u go to the police about something like this?

 

[mummylove]

Thanks Ladies I will ask to see cctv myself as I am not confident the manager will be entirely helpful or truthful on the matter going by what one of the staff has told me. can she refuse? a few family/friends I've told thinks I should write to the head office. was hoping for an apology and banning them after their behaviour as my daughter was attacked and we are regulars. not them being given free entry. just worry about seeing this family there again. x

I would defo write to head office. If the manager at the soft play is going to do nothing then u need to go above them. Dont let this lye

 

[lilyd]

I would email them and ask them to confirm in writing what action they have taken and request that they keep the CCTV.

I would point out that enough happened for it to be legally classed as assault and therefore you expect it to be taken seriously or else you will ask the Police to intervene.

 

[Jes.shortcake]

I would email them and ask them to confirm in writing what action they have taken and request that they keep the CCTV.

I would point out that enough happened for it to be legally classed as assault and therefore you expect it to be taken seriously or else you will ask the Police to intervene.

This

It's just sad that some parents are so quick to look the other way when their child is in the wrong. I got spanked as a child and believe me, if some parent told my parents I hurt their child..i can't even imagine the discipline i would have received!

I hate the "my child does no wrong"attitude. I told my husband I have a feeling I'm going to have it out with some kids parents eventually lol. Because I just hate that some aren't doing what their supposed to be doing.

 

[supertabby]

This is not "normal" pushing and shoving that does happen sometimes at soft play. From your description you could report this to the police. I'm not an advocate of generally handling bullying in such a way (in a school environment I think it's best to go through teachers/head not police) but at least this way the police should be able to enforce them showing the cctv and hopefully get the soft play place to ban them.

 

[Bex84]

If they also have a facebook page and would be inclined to kick up a fuss on it as they may take notice. It is rediculus that just because your daughter is a child she had to put up with been asulted while as an adult it would not be allowed

 

[Iveneverseen]

Thanks Ladies, only person that know about what happened that seems to think its acceptable are the parents and the manager.
although she told us it was unacceptable to our face.

It has made me worried to take my children back there and I am shocked the manager would offer to cancel my membership but give free entry to this horrible family as a good will gesture.
My daughter wouldn't go back in to play in that area even after they left so left us both shaken up. and my friend being accused to going for a child also.

what are my rights? and what can I do if the manager claims she didn't see anything on cctv and say's she wont take it any further? as I think it is too serious to let it go and the manager is out of order imo.

the lady that I speak to that works with her told me her manager probs would be useless and to go above him. x

 

[Iveneverseen]

It's like someone else said if I had attacked another adult or the manager like that child attacked my child I would be arrested and barred yet when its a child they are a lovley family, get free entry and its acceptable?

 

[sandilion]

Id be furious and be getting the police involved now. The longer you wait the more chances they have to cover it up and try to brush it all under the rug. Id be wanting to see what the police have to say about it.