Bullying, what to do?

[Iveneverseen]

I wouldnt of been able to keep my calm if this happened to my daughter.

Oh we were anything but calm.

I thought the fact the manger and staff had seen my daughter holding her head crying, my friend saw this and another member of staff also commented my daughter had a lump on her head. would be enough.

this family were only there twice from what I was told.

I plan to take it further again if im not satisfied.

I've an appointment when her manager on Thursday but doubt he will be much use either as ive been told.

 

[Iveneverseen]

Oh eternal that is awful. I would have called the police and would have went mental if another adult did that to my child and I would have complained about the manager. big hugs x

 

[Eternal]

Oh eternal that is awful. I would have called the police and would have went mental if another adult did that to my child and I would have complained about the manager. big hugs x

Thanks, this was back In January and I was going through huge levels of stress including dealing with the school etc, I think one more thing would have killed me at that point.

So sorry this happened to your daughter glad your fighting for her, you sound like you are doing everything right. Where in the country do you live,it's not not South Wales?

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Wr had something similar with my friend. Shecalled police and lady got charged in court xx

 

[mummylove]

I wouldnt of been able to keep my calm if this happened to my daughter.

Oh we were anything but calm.

I thought the fact the manger and staff had seen my daughter holding her head crying, my friend saw this and another member of staff also commented my daughter had a lump on her head. would be enough.

this family were only there twice from what I was told.

I plan to take it further again if im not satisfied.

I've an appointment when her manager on Thursday but doubt he will be much use either as ive been told.

glad u are taking it further hun this is so wrong. I hope ur daughter is ok .

 

[Foogirl]

I hope you get it sorted. I would have called the police if the management had taken that attitude.

I do wonder, though, why they would be offering the other family free entry. Given they aren't regular users and the company has really nothing to lose if the family doesn't return, and yet they are willing to lose a regular paying customer. Something isn't adding up. Is it possible they saw something on the CCTV that you didn't see? Maybe there was something that happened prior to the incident you witnessed? I'm not saying any child deserves to be ganged up on and hit, but maybe there was a provocation that you missed? It just seems to be a weird action taken by the manager.

And, Eternal, that is unforgivable. There is no excuse for a parent hitting someone else's child and acting in that manner. Soft Play with a SN child is really tough, I find it impossible to do by myself and it is made far more challenging with the attitudes of other children and adults. Our local Soft Play is really good and even lets us in for free. They would take our side for sure if there were any altercation coming about because of Abby's SN. Thankfully Abby's problems aren't generally behavioral (at least not out in public!!) so we haven't faced any irate parents yet. But we do get a lot of unkind comments and muttering about the fact she has her shoes on.

 

[Iveneverseen]

Oh eternal that is awful. I would have called the police and would have went mental if another adult did that to my child and I would have complained about the manager. big hugs x

Thanks, this was back In January and I was going through huge levels of stress including dealing with the school etc, I think one more thing would have killed me at that point.

So sorry this happened to your daughter glad your fighting for her, you sound like you are doing everything right. Where in the country do you live,it's not not South Wales?

No I'm in Scotland hun x

 

[Iveneverseen]

I hope you get it sorted. I would have called the police if the management had taken that attitude.

I do wonder, though, why they would be offering the other family free entry. Given they aren't regular users and the company has really nothing to lose if the family doesn't return, and yet they are willing to lose a regular paying customer. Something isn't adding up. Is it possible they saw something on the CCTV that you didn't see? Maybe there was something that happened prior to the incident you witnessed? I'm not saying any child deserves to be ganged up on and hit, but maybe there was a provocation that you missed? It just seems to be a weird action taken by the manager.

And, Eternal, that is unforgivable. There is no excuse for a parent hitting someone else's child and acting in that manner. Soft Play with a SN child is really tough, I find it impossible to do by myself and it is made far more challenging with the attitudes of other children and adults. Our local Soft Play is really good and even lets us in for free. They would take our side for sure if there were any altercation coming about because of Abby's SN. Thankfully Abby's problems aren't generally behavioral (at least not out in public!!) so we haven't faced any irate parents yet. But we do get a lot of unkind comments and muttering about the fact she has her shoes on.

No they were not provoked. I saw it. apparently they were offered free entry because my friend went after them after they punched my daughter and pulled her hair and they were "shaked up" my backside shaken up cos they got caught?

 

[Eternal]

I hope you get it sorted. I would have called the police if the management had taken that attitude.

I do wonder, though, why they would be offering the other family free entry. Given they aren't regular users and the company has really nothing to lose if the family doesn't return, and yet they are willing to lose a regular paying customer. Something isn't adding up. Is it possible they saw something on the CCTV that you didn't see? Maybe there was something that happened prior to the incident you witnessed? I'm not saying any child deserves to be ganged up on and hit, but maybe there was a provocation that you missed? It just seems to be a weird action taken by the manager.

And, Eternal, that is unforgivable. There is no excuse for a parent hitting someone else's child and acting in that manner. Soft Play with a SN child is really tough, I find it impossible to do by myself and it is made far more challenging with the attitudes of other children and adults. Our local Soft Play is really good and even lets us in for free. They would take our side for sure if there were any altercation coming about because of Abby's SN. Thankfully Abby's problems aren't generally behavioral (at least not out in public!!) so we haven't faced any irate parents yet. But we do get a lot of unkind comments and muttering about the fact she has her shoes on.

Thanks, yeah it's so hard, it's so hard going ANYWHERE at all with him. We end up stuck indoors as his sensory issues are so bad these days, and like you I need someone with him one on one, with having other kids it's impossible alone.

Glad you get some support at your local soft play, I know not all places are the same. I wish people were less ignorant to special needs, wish I could say I can't believe that people would comment on her shoes, but I really can believe it.

 

[Foogirl]

No they were not provoked. I saw it. apparently they were offered free entry because my friend went after them after they punched my daughter and pulled her hair and they were "shaked up" my backside shaken up cos they got caught?

Yeah, but even if they were, what does the company have to lose by just letting them walk away? It makes perfect sense to keep a regular customer happy over a random punter - unless you have a reason to keep one over the other? It's all very strange. I'm not suggesting any wrongdoing by you, just that something doesn't add up.

 

[Foogirl]

Glad you get some support at your local soft play, I know not all places are the same. I wish people were less ignorant to special needs, wish I could say I can't believe that people would comment on her shoes, but I really can believe it.

It is pretty good there. The only problem is its quite a small one and they don't allow adults on the big frame with the children. Obviously we have to go on with Abby so we have to wear a yellow hi-vis vest to make us "look official" and stop other parents complaining

 

[Eternal]

Glad you get some support at your local soft play, I know not all places are the same. I wish people were less ignorant to special needs, wish I could say I can't believe that people would comment on her shoes, but I really can believe it.

It is pretty good there. The only problem is its quite a small one and they don't allow adults on the big frame with the children. Obviously we have to go on with Abby so we have to wear a yellow hi-vis vest to make us "look official" and stop other parents complaining

Lol, yeah not the most fun thing to wear lol. It's always damned if you do and damned of you don't here, if you go on with them parents complain that adults are on the equipment and if you don't they complain the child is unsupervised.

It's hell, as I do know he will push is way though people, he doesn't acknowledge others, but then so do half the kids there, they are all hyped up on slush puppies and free reign so he is hardly the only child doing it, and he is a skinny 4 year old for goodness sake, not that I condone him pushing past kids at all, and he is taken out and reminded, but autism doesn't work like that, and there have been plenty of times I've just taken him home for breaking rules, but he cannot understand consequences.

 

[Foogirl]

Lol, yeah not the most fun thing to wear lol. It's always damned if you do and damned of you don't here, if you go on with them parents complain that adults are on the equipment and if you don't they complain the child is unsupervised.

It's hell, as I do know he will push is way though people, he doesn't acknowledge others, but then so do half the kids there, they are all hyped up on slush puppies and free reign so he is hardly the only child doing it, and he is a skinny 4 year old for goodness sake, not that I condone him pushing past kids at all, and he is taken out and reminded, but autism doesn't work like that, and there have been plenty of times I've just taken him home for breaking rules, but he cannot understand consequences.

Its a tough call for sure. Thing is though it's not about condoning it. Pushing is part of the disability isn't it? That's kind of like if people got angry because Abby won't walk. He can't help doing it any more than she can help not walking.

I just think people should be a lot more open to children with SN and their own children experiencing it. We have children push past and stand on Abby all the time. As far as I'm concerned, Abby is the vulnerable one so I make sure she isn't harmed by it. If needs be I will ask children to wait a minute to let Abby through, or I tell Abby to get herself off to the side whilst the children go past. Often they can't get past my big backside and have to wait anyway!!

If anyone is worried about their little angel being shoved or pushed a wee bit, maybe soft play isn't the best place for them to go to totally ignore their children for an hour.

 

[Iveneverseen]

No they were not provoked. I saw it. apparently they were offered free entry because my friend went after them after they punched my daughter and pulled her hair and they were "shaked up" my backside shaken up cos they got caught?

Yeah, but even if they were, what does the company have to lose by just letting them walk away? It makes perfect sense to keep a regular customer happy over a random punter - unless you have a reason to keep one over the other? It's all very strange. I'm not suggesting any wrongdoing by you, just that something doesn't add up.

Well ive been told that she thinks im in the wrong and she also put on her facebook right after speaking to me today "some people need to get a grip" really hope I don't see her on Thursday if shes smart she will keep a wide bearth.

 

[sandilion]

Iveneverseen have you checked with the police to at least see if they can intervene at all? Wouldn't hurt to ask. It sounds like this is becoming a losing battle.

This is why DS will be learning self defense from a young age. Not so he can punch, but so he can defend himself and block punches and trip them over when he gets ganged up on. It will teach him confidence and hopefully teach other kids not to mess with him.

 

[Iveneverseen]

Iveneverseen have you checked with the police to at least see if they can intervene at all? Wouldn't hurt to ask. It sounds like this is becoming a losing battle.

This is why DS will be learning self defense from a young age. Not so he can punch, but so he can defend himself and block punches and trip them over when he gets ganged up on. It will teach him confidence and hopefully teach other kids not to mess with him.

No because I doubt anything the police can do. and it wont be a loosing battle as I will go higher up and will let other parents and the press know about it if I have to. so even if the top boss doesn't do anything. (which I doubt) their business will be damaged and they will loose custom.

Yes we have also looked into our girls starting karate, we havn't been able to get hold of the teacher yet, but as soon as we do they will be learning self defence.

 

[Eternal]

Lol, yeah not the most fun thing to wear lol. It's always damned if you do and damned of you don't here, if you go on with them parents complain that adults are on the equipment and if you don't they complain the child is unsupervised.

It's hell, as I do know he will push is way though people, he doesn't acknowledge others, but then so do half the kids there, they are all hyped up on slush puppies and free reign so he is hardly the only child doing it, and he is a skinny 4 year old for goodness sake, not that I condone him pushing past kids at all, and he is taken out and reminded, but autism doesn't work like that, and there have been plenty of times I've just taken him home for breaking rules, but he cannot understand consequences.

Its a tough call for sure. Thing is though it's not about condoning it. Pushing is part of the disability isn't it? That's kind of like if people got angry because Abby won't walk. He can't help doing it any more than she can help not walking.

I just think people should be a lot more open to children with SN and their own children experiencing it. We have children push past and stand on Abby all the time. As far as I'm concerned, Abby is the vulnerable one so I make sure she isn't harmed by it. If needs be I will ask children to wait a minute to let Abby through, or I tell Abby to get herself off to the side whilst the children go past. Often they can't get past my big backside and have to wait anyway!!

If anyone is worried about their little angel being shoved or pushed a wee bit, maybe soft play isn't the best place for them to go to totally ignore their children for an hour.

Yeah, it's a hard one, I agree it's part of the disability and you should surely expect some degree of contact with others, he isn't being malicious at all, he literally is single minded and can't comprehend anything else around, but we still do tell him, and take him away for clam done and put rules in place, because he does need to learn and hopefully one day it will sink in a big better. For now we will just avoid soft play, it's hard as my other miss out and thee are lots of places we just cannot go but such is the nature of SN kids.