Bullying, what to do?

[Iveneverseen]

I'm not sure if the police can do anything about it because it was a child? and what if the cctvs didn't show up these girls attacking my child?
as I was told that because of the size of the frame that cctv might or might not been able to capture it.

I have been told (not by the manager) that the big boss is in today.
she told me that she would get back to me today so if she doesn't I will be getting in touch with her.

im shocked 3 days after the incident she still hasn't reviewed the cctv. and keeps making excuses like it being holidays from school.
and also offering them free entry today.

 

[cherrylips100]

I would take it online and comment on their facebook page. Bad publicity is the last thing they want and that will hopefully make them look at the cctv. If nothing comes of it, be rest assured that one day, they'll pick on the wrong kid.

 

[lilyd]

I wouldn't be quite so laid back about it!

If the big boss is in today, get on the phone to him and ask what has happened in terms of reviewing the footage, don't wait for them to call you. Tell him that your child was assaulted and a serious allegation was made about your friend and that you want it dealt with seriously. Ask him to confirm everything in writing.

I would also ask if they have formal procedures for dealing with this type of incident.

My LO was hurt by another child at a soft play and a member of staff witnessed it. The little boy was immediately barred as it was not the first time he had deliberately hurt another child. We didn't even complain and probably would have put it down to kids play in all honesty, but the parents of the child involved had already had a prior warning about his behaviour.

If there is no CCTV footage then it is always going to be a matter of opinion as to what happened. I would be on the phone to them before it gets recorded over.

 

[Iveneverseen]

I wouldn't be quite so laid back about it!

If the big boss is in today, get on the phone to him and ask what has happened in terms of reviewing the footage, don't wait for them to call you. Tell him that your child was assaulted and a serious allegation was made about your friend and that you want it dealt with seriously. Ask him to confirm everything in writing.

I would also ask if they have formal procedures for dealing with this type of incident.

My LO was hurt by another child at a soft play and a member of staff witnessed it. The little boy was immediately barred as it was not the first time he had deliberately hurt another child. We didn't even complain and probably would have put it down to kids play in all honesty, but the parents of the child involved had already had a prior warning about his behaviour.

If there is no CCTV footage then it is always going to be a matter of opinion as to what happened. I would be on the phone to them before it gets recorded over.

I think its unfair to suggest im being laid back about it I certainly am not.

It isn't a matter of opinion though my friend seen it and they saw my daughter holding her head and in tears another member of staff commented she seen a lump on my daughters head.

If I was to call the centre I would just get hold of her. I don't think it would be that easy to just call and get through to him. I don't know when he will be in the centre.

 

[Iveneverseen]

I would take it online and comment on their facebook page. Bad publicity is the last thing they want and that will hopefully make them look at the cctv. If nothing comes of it, be rest assured that one day, they'll pick on the wrong kid.

I was thinking about that but they would just quickly delete it. and may affect things in terms with hows its delt and complaints.

 

[lilyd]

I wouldn't be quite so laid back about it!

If the big boss is in today, get on the phone to him and ask what has happened in terms of reviewing the footage, don't wait for them to call you. Tell him that your child was assaulted and a serious allegation was made about your friend and that you want it dealt with seriously. Ask him to confirm everything in writing.

I would also ask if they have formal procedures for dealing with this type of incident.

My LO was hurt by another child at a soft play and a member of staff witnessed it. The little boy was immediately barred as it was not the first time he had deliberately hurt another child. We didn't even complain and probably would have put it down to kids play in all honesty, but the parents of the child involved had already had a prior warning about his behaviour.

If there is no CCTV footage then it is always going to be a matter of opinion as to what happened. I would be on the phone to them before it gets recorded over.

I think its unfair to suggest im being laid back about it I certainly am not.

It isn't a matter of opinion though my friend seen it and they saw my daughter holding her head and in tears another member of staff commented she seen a lump on my daughters head.

If I was to call the centre I would just get hold of her. I don't think it would be that easy to just call and get through to him. I don't know when he will be in the centre.

Sorry, I didn't mean laid back in that sense, I just meant don't wait for them to contact you.

The reason I said it was a matter of opinion though is because the other family can always say that it was provoked.

I would phone the centre an ask to speak to the big boss. If she answers the phone, still ask for him and tell he that you are not satisfied about the way it is being handled as the footage still hasn't been reviewed after 3 days. If he's not there, ask if you can have contact details for head office (if there is one).

Are you allowed to mention that they have been given free passes or will that get your friend into trouble?

It seems as though she just wants it to go away and I think your actions have to show her that you will not allow that to happen.

 

[Iveneverseen]

I wouldn't be quite so laid back about it!

If the big boss is in today, get on the phone to him and ask what has happened in terms of reviewing the footage, don't wait for them to call you. Tell him that your child was assaulted and a serious allegation was made about your friend and that you want it dealt with seriously. Ask him to confirm everything in writing.

I would also ask if they have formal procedures for dealing with this type of incident.

My LO was hurt by another child at a soft play and a member of staff witnessed it. The little boy was immediately barred as it was not the first time he had deliberately hurt another child. We didn't even complain and probably would have put it down to kids play in all honesty, but the parents of the child involved had already had a prior warning about his behaviour.

If there is no CCTV footage then it is always going to be a matter of opinion as to what happened. I would be on the phone to them before it gets recorded over.

I think its unfair to suggest im being laid back about it I certainly am not.

It isn't a matter of opinion though my friend seen it and they saw my daughter holding her head and in tears another member of staff commented she seen a lump on my daughters head.

If I was to call the centre I would just get hold of her. I don't think it would be that easy to just call and get through to him. I don't know when he will be in the centre.

Sorry, I didn't mean laid back in that sense, I just meant don't wait for them to contact you.

The reason I said it was a matter of opinion though is because the other family can always say that it was provoked.

I would phone the centre an ask to speak to the big boss. If she answers the phone, still ask for him and tell he that you are not satisfied about the way it is being handled as the footage still hasn't been reviewed after 3 days. If he's not there, ask if you can have contact details for head office (if there is one).

Are you allowed to mention that they have been given free passes or will that get your friend into trouble?

It seems as though she just wants it to go away and I think your actions have to show her that you will not allow that to happen.

I have told her if it is not dealth with in a way I am satisfied I will be going through other channels to make sure it is and that I wont let it lie.

if I was to mention about the free passes it would get her into trouble.
my husband said why im writing to complain mention I overheard it.

I have asked the girl that works there to keep an eye out for that family today and an ear out should she mention anything.

If she does not contact me today I will be contacted her. rest assured I wont stop till something is done.

 

[mummylove]

i would be going in to see the big boss

 

[Iveneverseen]

i would be going in to see the big boss

I don't think it's as simple as just walking in and asking to speak to him and getting to see him.

you would have to go through her first, and I don't want to have to take my children there until something has been done. esp as that family is supposed to be there today.

 

[Beckettshades]

Can't see on my phone if you're in the uk but I would go to the police. That's assualt and I'm pretty sure if the girls were ten (do you know how old they were?) then they would be criminally responsible in the uk)
Also mention this to soft play- it's not ok!

 

[Iveneverseen]

Can't see on my phone if you're in the uk but I would go to the police. That's assualt and I'm pretty sure if the girls were ten (do you know how old they were?) then they would be criminally responsible in the uk)
Also mention this to soft play- it's not ok!

I think they were under 10, not sure what ages though.
The manager just called and said because she couldn't see the assult on cctv (as it was inside the frame) she wont barr them but can cancel my membership.

The said to come and speak to the managers manager. (the one another member of staff said I would probs get nowhere with)

so I will get a friend to watch the kids and me and my husband will go meet with him. but I told them if its not delt with how I want I will go further again.

 

[mummylove]

I would make sure u make this public what this play area is like

 

[Iveneverseen]

I would make sure u make this public what this play area is like

I will, where do you suggest?
what should I do if her manager wont barr them either? x

 

[mummylove]

Maybe go to the local paper. You have a witness so least u have support

 

[lilyd]

I think if no member of staff witnessed it and there is genuinely no CCTV then they wouldn't really have grounds to bar them as they only saw the result of the altercation and not the lead up or the actual event. The other family could claim provocation and there is nothing really to disprove it (not that I doubt your story at all).

Are you satisfied that CCTV wouldn't have caught it? They will not be obligated to show it to you, but if you involve the Police then they will be able to view it. Whilst you think the child was under the age of legal responsibility you don't know for sure so the Police are still an option.

Do the soft play place know who this family are, I know you said they don't go there often?

 

[mummylove]

I wouldnt of been able to keep my calm if this happened to my daughter.

 

[Eternal]

I've had almost the exact opposite thing happen to us, my son is autistic, he seems to get singled out by bullies, but also can be quite violent himself, I know he can push past other children sometimes but we watch him like a hawk because of this.

We were at soft play and had three adults to our three kids, the me. Stayed inside the soft play with the kids and my friend and I watched from outside. We had noticed some older kids pushing and chasing Sam a few times, and I just told him to avoid them. Sam is a small skinny 4 year old, in the under 6 section and most of the others were much older.

I'm sure he did push past other children because he honestly does not understand how to play and rules of play, however, they had bullied him, at one point he went upstairs and I couldn't see him, next thing I see this mother run over, grab him by the leg and drag him down some step (soft ones) and smack him on the leg. I was in such shock I didn't say anything, she said he has pushed her daughter and in the shock I apologised and so did Sam and I brought him away for time out. She and her big group of bully friends sat there shouting,swearing, giving is the finger, filthy looks etc. When I looked at Sam he was bleeding with scratches down his face! He had marks where the woman grabbed him, deep scratches and a cut on his back, his face was bleeding and scratched.

Next the woman send the manager over, who said I had better supervise my child more and perhaps should consider only bringing him on special needs nights, I pointed out the bleeding and marks on my sons face and said there were more if she wanted to see, he was really upset and rocking and I said she hit Sam, the "manager" said I should go over and apologise to the woman. I burst into tears have never been back.

I was advised to call the police and get her done for assault but I blame the playking more than the woman, she should be investigated by so vial services given she felt the need to hit my child, but the manager had legal duties and ignored all what I said and the proof because they were a bigger group. She clearly didn't think it was acceptable for a child with special needs to be present with other children. It's put me off taking him anyway, he is an easy target as he doesn't feel pain the same way so other seem to notice and hut him. I'm sure it's possible he did snap, but he was not the devil child in this, they bullied him.

 

[CourtneyLane]

That's awful, eternal. Really quite upsetting. Your poor little lad.

This is why we've never done soft play. There's too many parents there who don't react well or in a grown up manner to things. Stories like the ones on here are so sad. No one should have to put up with their child being assaulted

 

[Jes.shortcake]

I'm sure he did push past other children because he honestly does not understand how to play and rules of play, however, they had bullied him, at one point he went upstairs and I couldn't see him, next thing I see this mother run over, grab him by the leg and drag him down some step (soft ones) and smack him on the leg. I was in such shock I didn't say anything, she said he has pushed her daughter and in the shock I apologised and so did Sam and I brought him away for time out. She and her big group of bully friends sat there shouting,swearing, giving is the finger, filthy looks etc. When I looked at Sam he was bleeding with scratches down his face! He had marks where the woman grabbed him, deep scratches and a cut on his back, his face was bleeding and scratched.

Oh hell no

I would end up having the cops called on me if someone put their hands on my child

 

[Eternal]

I'm sure he did push past other children because he honestly does not understand how to play and rules of play, however, they had bullied him, at one point he went upstairs and I couldn't see him, next thing I see this mother run over, grab him by the leg and drag him down some step (soft ones) and smack him on the leg. I was in such shock I didn't say anything, she said he has pushed her daughter and in the shock I apologised and so did Sam and I brought him away for time out. She and her big group of bully friends sat there shouting,swearing, giving is the finger, filthy looks etc. When I looked at Sam he was bleeding with scratches down his face! He had marks where the woman grabbed him, deep scratches and a cut on his back, his face was bleeding and scratched.

Oh hell no

I would end up having the cops called on me if someone put their hands on my child

When I think about it I hate myself for not knocking her Into next week! I'm naturally very reserved but I'm slowly learning to have to stand up for him, wish I had in this case.

It's the fact that these managers clearly have no concerns over our kids welfare, so shocking to hear another case where management have been too laid back in dealing with it