Can I join you here? I don't feel like I really belong anywhere :(

[Tina_TTC2]

I am technically not 2nd Tri. I found out at 11 weeks, close, but not quite 2nd Tri.

I posted in the Miscarriage support thread, but I think I may have offended some of them as the replies have been minimal. I have had 3 losses including this one, the last was at like 5 weeks, and I said that this one is so much worse than that one, and it's obvious I'm the minority in this belief. I just believe the further along you are, the more painful it is. I understand their feelings, if you have only ever experienced a very early loss, you have nothing to compare it to. It's hard to understand that the pain can be worse, when it's so encompassing. Suffice it to say, I'm not feeling largely understood, there, but I get it.

Being as far as I was, but not quite over the hump to first tri, I'm a bit in the middle. I feel at a loss and like I really don't belong in either place.

 

[Mellybelle]

You can post wherever you feel comfortable

I understand what you mean about it being more painful, the later you are. Ive had 4 losses, two were early. I know some women are devastated by early loss, but for me, i was able to accept that it sometimes happens, and move on. When i lost my little boy at 15 weeks (he had died at just over 14 weeks) i was completely heartbroken and griefstricken for months. I

 

[mannymoo]

Sorry for your losses. I had one mc at 8 weeks and another at 11 weeks. The 11 weeker was by far more difficult to come to terms with as I had had three scans all showing a healthy little bean with a good heartbeat. I think because I never had a scan with the first one, the pregnancy felt less real. However, I do think a mc at any stage is a terrible experience that nobody should go through. Hope you get your rainbow soon. Xx

 

[Mahoghani]

I was almost 17 weeks when I lost my little boy but he stopped growing at 14 weeks. Just past the 1st trimester mark. I was devastated. I know too I would have been devastated at 11 weeks. I think it hurt more so late because it starts becoming real and palpable. You start to dream... But every one's experience is different and no one should tell you that anything about your experience was wrong. I'm so sorry for your loss. And of course you are welcome here.

 

[River5]

All losses are hard, but the further along you are the more time you've had to dream about the future, it's harder when it crashes down

 

[amotherslove]

I am a firm believer that all losses have their gives and takes.. While in one way you had less to "give up" with an early loss.. You had less to "take" from the experience as far as memories too.. Iykwim.

That said.. You sound like me almost 2 yrs ago. I didn't feel like I fit in the first tri losses either.. My experience was not the same as a very early loss.. But not quite the same as a still birth or even a little earlier than that. I lost my baby at 12w1d and I've been where you are. I chose this place to find comfort early on in my grief path too. The women here were very kind. I am so sorry your baby died and you are hurting. I send you warm hugs.