Can't stop crying

[mrs_park]

My birth with DS1 was nothing short of traumatic. 30 hour labour, emcs, separated from baby after birth, spoken to badly by hospital staff. Horrible postnatal care, no sympathy at all for the pain I was in. I could go on and on but it really affected me in many ways.

So with DS2 I wanted a different experience. I went to a new hospital, hired a doula, talked through a lot of my painful memories from last time, prayed a lot etc. I felt prepared and excited.

I ended up having THE BEST experience ever! I feel so free from the pain of my last birth. Even though circumstances were very similar and I had another section after failing to progress and baby not engaging, I felt so empowered and proud of myself for giving it my absolute best. I felt so loved and supported. I had my hubby, mum and doula who were all amazing. The midwives and dr were fantastic. I just loved it. Even the section was great, they explained everything to us and we felt so involved in the whole process. I got skin to skin cuddles in theatre. It was just awesome.

And now I'm here with my beautiful boy and I just want to go back to the day he was born. I'm so so so sad that it's over now. I can't stop crying and I feel like no one understands why. I had a follow up meeting with my doula this week and I just hugged her and cried.

Feels good to let all of this out xx

 

[embeth]

I completely understand. I have felt like that after every pregnancy. Especially this one. The birth was lovely, such a nice midwife and a great experience all over so quickly. BUT I have noticed as time goes by those feelings lessen and altho I always look back on the birth it doesn't make me feel so sad that its over. Give yourself time, its all the crazy hormones that make you feel this way too once they calm down you will feel alot better. Jacob is 3 weeks on sunday and I already feel so much more like myself. for you xx

 

[cat_reversing]

hey, it'll pass, it's just hormones trying to settle and probably a release of emotions as i'm sure you were anxious for everything to be better than last time.
sleep when you can, eat/drink well and call in any favours you can, you'll feel better soon.

 

[menageriemom]

I definitely get it! I don't miss being pregnant but my delivery with DS was so amazing I've found myself kind of mourning that it happened so quickly (not that that's a bad thing) and almost wishing to relive it. I do think the feeling will subside, I was lucky for things to go so well and I don't want to not be appreciative of that.

 

[mrs_park]

Thanks so much ladies

I guess it was the first time in 2.5 years that I actually felt good about myself. I don't know how to move on from that. DH is being great but I fear there will come a time that is going to tell me to just snap out of it and I really don't know how to do that

 

[embeth]

You will find urself just naturally feeling better as time passes. Giving birth to a child is a massive thing allow yourself time. xxx

 

[mrs_park]

Thanks Hun

DH has told me that he is done, no more babies. That makes me really sad and I think I could let go of this feeling if I knew I'd experience a positive birth experience again.

I do feel a bit better today though. I think you're right, it will get better with time. I HATE these hormones

 

[mrs_park]

Oh and I'm thinking I might take in some chocolates and a thank you card next week so I'm looking forward to doing that. Might feel like closure or something

 

[embeth]

Yeah I sent a thank u card to the mw that delivered me this time, v strange sometimes to think someone that has done something so big for u and ull never see them again! Just a job really I suppose.
I felt exactly the same as u a couple of weeks ago and was adament before giving birth this was my last. Luckily dh has said we can have number 4 if I still want one in a couple if years. Remember u have only just had ur little one never say never you don't know what the future brings ur dh may change his mind one day xx

 

[kimmym]

Omg! I thought i was crazy for wanting to go back to the day i gave birth. Glad im not alone.it was an amazing experience very much unlike any other.

 

[mrs_park]

Well ladies, I'm happy to say that I have not cried in several days

Still feel sad that DH doesn't want to have more babies but I think I am over the baby blues of last week. I also think a lot of the tears were a release of the hurt and trauma surrounding DS1's birth.

Thanks for all of your kind words and support

 

[embeth]

Well ladies, I'm happy to say that I have not cried in several days

Still feel sad that DH doesn't want to have more babies but I think I am over the baby blues of last week. I also think a lot of the tears were a release of the hurt and trauma surrounding DS1's birth.

Thanks for all of your kind words and support

xxx