Can't stop crying :(

[peapod11]

I can't stop crying today! I miss my ex boyfriend so much (if uv read my other posts you will know, he wanted me to not keep it and stay together but if I chose to keep it I have to do it alone and I decided to keep it, I couldn't go threw with not keeping it) it's breaking my heart that iv lost my bestfriend, we have been together for 4years and lived together, now we don't even talk! This time of my life should be so perfect but instead I'm dealing with all these emotions! It's ruined my ideal dream of being a parent, I had a useless dad and promised myself when I have children they will have a good dad! Now I can't even offer it a dad! I'm suffering major headaches from the stress and worry about finding somewhere to live in 5months and make sure my baby has the best!
I have no idea whether he will ever come around, his last text saying that we will talk in a few weeks when we cN talk without getting upset!

I'm sorry for going on but I'm filled with so much hurt, when I talk to my friends they just tell me to get him out of my head he isn't worth it! On paper they are probably right, but being in the situation is so much worse I can't just turn off my love! I know my baby is the most important thing at the moment but I which it was coming into a normal family

 

[Sunshine12]

Oh Im so sorry. Its such a difficult and emotional thing anyway let alone trying to do it without a partner but you sound like a strong woman and you will get through it. Whilst I can totally understand why you feel the way you do I would try and concentrate on the fact that he made his bed but didnt want to lie in it (so to speak). It takes 2 to make a baby and if he cared about you as much as you do him he would have stepped up to the plate, not made you choose between him and your unborn baby. If you had chosen him then I think you would have spent the remainder of your relationship resenting him for making you choose and would ultimately have split up TBH. You may find that once things get a bit further one he realises what he has done and might come to his senses but I dont think you should pin your hopes on that happening as there is every chance that it might not.

Hope u feeling better soon x

 

[Excited4First]

I am so sorry you have so much stress. I know your friends feel they are helping by telling you to get your ex out of your head - but that is incredibly easy to say when not in your situation - so much easier said than done. Clearly, you are an awfully strong woman. You stood up for what you believed in and followed your heart, that is definitely commendable. I know that you will do what is best for you and your little one, and honestly that is all you can do. Given your display of love and strength, you have all that you need to survive and be successful. Hugs and all the luck to you .

 

[mommylam]

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time adjusting to being without your bf....but I do think that you definitely made the right choice.
He doesn't sound like much of a man to me and although you feel like you've lost everything, I promise you that there is a good man out there that will love you and your baby! I know you don't believe it now and probably don't even want anyone else but someday you will!!!
Your BF isn't your best friend if he just up and walks out of your life when you choose not to end your pregnancy (a pregnancy that he participated in btw). He sounds controlling to me and very selfish. I know your heart is broken and you feel weak and alone but you'll gain your strength back through this and you'll wonder why you ever felt so sad about someone who obviously only cared about himself!!!! Good Luck to you!!!!

 

[peapod11]

Thank u so much for ur lovely replies, I know how upset I am
But I still don't regret my decision, this baby at the time was made out of love and it's an innocent person! I just wish he didn't walk away from us without trying! He didn't come to my last scans and won't come to the next ( because in his words doesn't want to get attached) I really don't understand this, I don't think I would e so hurt if he tried and said sorry this isn't for me, but just not give his own child a chance to love eachother tears me up

 

[minimoo90]

Very big hugs hun.
Your baby will be soo proud of you, that you showed strength and love.

More big hugs xxxx

 

[Sunshine12]

Thank u so much for ur lovely replies, I know how upset I am
But I still don't regret my decision, this baby at the time was made out of love and it's an innocent person! I just wish he didn't walk away from us without trying! He didn't come to my last scans and won't come to the next ( because in his words doesn't want to get attached) I really don't understand this, I don't think I would e so hurt if he tried and said sorry this isn't for me, but just not give his own child a chance to love eachother tears me up

How old is he hun? Does he feel he is too young to be a father? x

 

[dustbunny]

After any breakup there is the initial regrets. You remember all the positive things, all the little things that made you two happy. But you have to force yourself to remember the not so good times, that fact he put a price you found way too high on your relationship. In a relationship both parties stick by each other, support each other and do not give each other ultimatums to such degrees. I know it sounds rubbish now but you will get over this, you will move on and you will realise what a shit person he really was because a good, honest person would not have done this to you. See him as one less frog to kiss till you find your prince.
This is still a happy time, do not let him detract away from the fact you are bringing a new little life into the world. This will be your baby and you will have so much love to give your LO because you are such a strong and brave person.

I am faced with giving birth and raising a child alone and although it was me who broke up with the FOB [trying to make him man up etc] he never stood up to the mark. He never included himself nor accepted invitations to be included in my LO's life. I ended it with him because I wasn't sure and he proved me right... he made my life a stressful hell but now I feel so so so so so much stronger. If you ever want to talk then feel free to PM me but we are all here to listen and support you.

 

[miracle35]

Thank u so much for ur lovely replies, I know how upset I am
But I still don't regret my decision, this baby at the time was made out of love and it's an innocent person! I just wish he didn't walk away from us without trying! He didn't come to my last scans and won't come to the next ( because in his words doesn't want to get attached) I really don't understand this, I don't think I would e so hurt if he tried and said sorry this isn't for me, but just not give his own child a chance to love eachother tears me up

I think he will come around hun. Eventually. He is just too overwhelmed to be involved at the moment. By the time he comes around though, you may not want him back, for you, so I hope it isn't too late for him.

 

[majm1241]

When is the last time you two spoke? How far along are you? Maybe he is just in shock and feels like he will never be good enough for his baby. He probably thinks the baby is better off without him. Give him some time and hopefully he will come around to his senses. Maybe send him updates every once in a while. No pressure from you but let him know certain things. He may just be scared at the moment and needs to get over the initial shock.

 

[peapod11]

He is 25 but 26 when baby is born! He says he never wante to be a parent until he met me and I changed his mind but not this early on! He has said that it is better off me and the baby don't have him around as his resentment towards beig a parent hen he isn't ready isn't fair for me or the baby! But I think not giving him and the baby a chance to live eachother isn't fair! I don't no if he will
Come around, his family mean the world to him, and I never thought he wouldn't give a child a chance! Mayb one day he will
Come around although I doubt I can live in this limbo, or hoping and waiting! Thank u all so much for ur lovely replies it's given me a boost and made me remember what is important! Xx

 

[peapod11]

We last spoke on wed when I texted because I'd been suffering major headaches ad was annoye he didnt care for my wellbeing! It had been 2weeks before that He said leave it for a few weeks so we can talk without getting so emotional! He also said he hasn't been the same since we split And he does want to ask how I am but doesn't no if that's te best! He is very strong willed and I don't think he will come around!

 

[majm1241]

Are you close to his family??? I think he wants to come around deep down just by reading what you have said but he seems SO NERVOUS!!!! Like he doesn't know exactly how to do it.

 

[Sunshine12]

You need to start calling the shots hun. Sounds to me like he is very confused but is also aware that you would take him back in a minute. You need to let him know that you are not just a doormat that can be picked up and dropped when he feels like it. He sounds like he is very self absorbed and more worried about how he feels than about you and the babys feelings. My advice, stop contacting him. If he wants you he will come running. Dont make it easy for him to muck you around. x

 

[Miss_d]

this is so sad. I hope in time that he comes round to the idea. after all he was part of making your baby.

Are you or him close to his family? what is their opinions on this?

 

[peapod11]

I lived with him and his parents for 3years but they ate going to stand by him and not see it either if that what he decides! So I had to move put of his parents and also have the task of finding my own place to live for when the baby arrives I tried so hard not to contact him but anger got the better of me! I will try so hard not to this time! I guess I can't force him to be a dad and tryig to force him will only push him away further! I willbe brave x

 

[majm1241]

That is so sad!

 

[Sunshine12]

I lived with him and his parents for 3years but they ate going to stand by him and not see it either if that what he decides! So I had to move put of his parents and also have the task of finding my own place to live for when the baby arrives I tried so hard not to contact him but anger got the better of me! I will try so hard not to this time! I guess I can't force him to be a dad and tryig to force him will only push him away further! I willbe brave x

You can do it sweetheart. Take care and if things get too much and you want to contact him just post another thread on here instead and we will sort you out!!

 

[peapod11]

Thank u! U guys have been so amazing and made me see the bright aide today

 

[admiral765]

Oh hun so sorry your going through this especially at such a hard and emotional time anyway.

If I was you, you have obviously tried contacting him and willing him to be interested and it hasn't worked. As hard as it might be, don't contact him. It may get him thinking. I am so proud of you for making the decision to keep the baby regardless so concentrate on the baby and you for the time being and try to be happy. Not contacting him will help you too, you probably beat yourself up every time you get a knock back from him and it isn't right. Whether you feel like it, if he gets in touch to ask if your ok (prob concerned since you haven't been in touch) just reply as your happy usual self that you are great! You can't hang around for him and keep thinking that he may come back to you. Whether he does or doesn't, you are going to have the most gorgeous little baby with you that will be loved and cared for so much regardless of whether your ex is involved or not. You obviously are genuinely concerned for your baby and that shines through on your posts so focus your attention on your little one, where it won't be wasted.

Just want to add that if he doesn't ever want to be involved, you cannot beat yourself up about that. That is his choice and he will be the one to miss out and will have to deal with that if your baby ever wants answers from him when he/she is older. I totally get that you just want a dad for your baby, especially as your own dad wasn't there for you (mine wasn't either) but that is not your responsibility. Its not your fault. Your baby will have all the love in the world from his mummy.

Take care hun xx