cant trust anyone!

[lillypad123]

So my partner and i are nearly 9 weeks preggo, we habe told family and what i thought where close friends.
We told only 3 of our close friends and over the past week have found thatn2 of them have been telling everyone else we know even after we asked them to keep it to them selves until we tell the rest of our friends after 12 weeks.
I have asked them aboit this and they dont seem to think they have done anything wrong and dont understand that this is huge news for us and it wasnt their news to tell.
I dont know how to deal with this and am so hurt by their actions, any ideas......thanks

 

[FeLynn]

That is one of my biggest issues. It's my news my baby I will tell those i want to know. That's why I try to hold off before I tell anyone m mother is good for this. My hub told me not to tell my family until we were further them he tells his coworkers talk about being mad!

 

[Krissykat1006]

Well that stinks....and the fact they don't seem to care that they ruined this for you makes me angry.

I think its a chance we take if we tell anyone before we are ready to tell everyone. I told my mom and 2 close friends 4 weeks ago. So far so good no one has blabbed...but I would be just as devastated as you if the word got out.

You have every right to be upset...I think Monica said it best to Rachel on Friends when she told her she was stealing her thunder. This was your news to tell not theirs. If they can't understand your hurt then maybe they weren't as close of friends as you thought. You will be able to forgive one day, but that will be when you are ready.

 

[sedgeez]

Last time I was pregnant we only told my parents, and one cousin who I was close to, when I was 6 weeks.

That cousin told her sister, who didn't know it was a secret and posted something on my Facebook wall.

As soon as I saw it I deleted it, but in that 2 mins of it being up, my OHs nephews girlfriend saw it.
To put it nicely, she's a bitch. We had already fallen out with her for other reasons.

She messaged me and asked if I was preg, I told her yes, but not to tell anyone as we werent telling one else yet. And then straight after she started sending messages to OHs family asking them if I was preg, even though she knew I was. Then she sent more messages telling them I had told her I was.

So then we had to tell everyone before we wanted to, and I ending up having a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks.

Then she had the cheek to butt in with my loss and was very patronising.

Anyway, I just didn't speak to her again. But she wasn't a friend in the first place.

It's such big news and regardless of what they were thinking, it's not their news to tell. It's your private news and I don't know why anyone would think it was appropriate to tell others, especially if you've told them not to.

 

[lillypad123]

Thanks everyone, i thoight maybe i was over reacting but im glad im not, i just wish they got it, they have told all my x co workers who i am close too. They know what i have been through for the last year and still felt it was their right to tell people, so now am feeling alone as i just cant bring myself to go and see them.
Just wish they would get it. Its my news no one elses, its my news to tell who i want, when i want.

 

[lillypad123]

And another thing, being pregnant is so huge, its not like buying a new car or something, this is a little human, its the biggest new anyone can have just wish they would understand this

 

[Eternal]

Hugs ... You are not overreacting, it was very wrong of your friends it say anything, it's your news, you decide who and when to say.

 

[Elizabean]

I know exactly how you feel, my Mother in Law blabbed about it in front of one of my friends and I was MAD!

Friend hasn't said anything as far as I know but I hate that MIL put me in the position of not being able to share my very special and very important news myself.

DH spoke to her an apparently it was his fault because "how was I supposed to know your friends didn't know?" I would have thought she would have picked that up when we told her the news earlier and said no one except our parents knew. She didn't apologise, but I would expect that of a witch like her anyway!

Can you tell I'm bitter?!

I'm sorry this happened to you too. I would step back from those people and think long and hard about what you tell them in future, baby related or otherwise, they cant be trusted.

I haven't spoken to my MIL since, that was 2 weeks ago and our houses are 2 meters apart! It will make me think twice about other situations where I need to trust her (babysitting etc).

 

[xdxxtx]

I'm so angry for you... I experienced a similar thing, with my first two babies. We decided NOT to tell anyone other than the close members of my side of the family until we were ready to tell EVERYone and then told everyone else right before putting it on Facebook. Yes, people will definitely spread it around, no matter how many times you ask them not to... sigh... I hate that. The first two times, when I told, everyone already knew because big mouths spread it around. Took me getting upset twice to learn. haha

 

[lillypad123]

I know exactly how you feel, my Mother in Law blabbed about it in front of one of my friends and I was MAD!

Friend hasn't said anything as far as I know but I hate that MIL put me in the position of not being able to share my very special and very important news myself.

DH spoke to her an apparently it was his fault because "how was I supposed to know your friends didn't know?" I would have thought she would have picked that up when we told her the news earlier and said no one except our parents knew. She didn't apologise, but I would expect that of a witch like her anyway!

Can you tell I'm bitter?!

I'm sorry this happened to you too. I would step back from those people and think long and hard about what you tell them in future, baby related or otherwise, they cant be trusted.

I haven't spoken to my MIL since, that was 2 weeks ago and our houses are 2 meters apart! It will make me think twice about other situations where I need to trust her (babysitting etc).

thank, yes i have stepped back but they havnt contacted me either, its hard not habing our time we had but i need to do this because im so upset about it.
im sorry to hear its happened to others too, im just finding it hard to trust anyone at the moment.

thanks

 

[lillypad123]

I'm so angry for you... I experienced a similar thing, with my first two babies. We decided NOT to tell anyone other than the close members of my side of the family until we were ready to tell EVERYone and then told everyone else right before putting it on Facebook. Yes, people will definitely spread it around, no matter how many times you ask them not to... sigh... I hate that. The first two times, when I told, everyone already knew because big mouths spread it around. Took me getting upset twice to learn. haha

ya the only way i new was they someone had said something to my friend who hadnt said anything and got a call from her right away, i think i would have been more angry once we started telling everyone else and they said they already knew, i didnt like that i had to confrount the ones who blabbed but i had to and have learnt who i can ans cant trust as i do t know what else has been said, i know they all caught up for coffee today and i kmow who would have been top of convertation........me lol which i hate. Just wish they had the guts to tell me they blabbed, we are all adults and not in highschool anymore, know i know not to tell anyone anything, just finding it hard as i have no one to really talk to about this as they are all involved. Just sux

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

I can't believe they would go and spread your news. Surely they realise its not their news to tell and that u would want and enjoy telling people yourself. Sorry they have done this. Hopefully they just didn't think and didn't do it in vengeance xxx

 

[lillypad123]

I can't believe they would go and spread your news. Surely they realise its not their news to tell and that u would want and enjoy telling people yourself. Sorry they have done this. Hopefully they just didn't think and didn't do it in vengeance xxx

They said they were excited for me, i have tryed contacting them today, was hung up on so i guess that friendship is deffently over, its just hard, thanks for your support