Career versus Age.

[catswhiskas]

I am currently in the first year of being a student nurse. It is really tough and demanding. I got married on 27th March this year. A week later I turned 32. We really want children and I was thinking I would wait until I had finished my degree. However, I now feel that I can't do this. i am so concerned about my age. So we have decided to ttc as soon as I get the go ahead from my doctor, reference some medication i am taking. Has anyone else been in a similar situation, and do any of you think I am mad for interrupting my studies like this?

 

[Amygdala]

I'm in a similar situation and made the same decision. I'm in my 20s still and a postgrad student. But if I waited until I finish my degree and got a stable job, I'd be well into my 30s before I'd have my first child. Seeing as we're hoping to have three, we decided that we don't want to wait that long. Having no. 1 during my phd also means that I'll get to spend a lot more time with them while they're little.
I think you just need to decide what's most important to you in life and what would hurt must if it didn't work out. Myself, I'm happy to risk making my carreer more difficult in order to maximise our chances of having our little family. I canunderstand your worries but I think you're not going to regret this decision, because how ever more difficult it might make studying, you'll get something so much more precious out of it.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Hey hun I am about to start my degree in nursing childrens branch in september. I am sure it will be hard but the Uni have lots of things in place to help and you can get childcare etc. Can you defer your degree for a year pnce you have become pregnant so you can focus on you and baby for a little while?
xx

 

[catswhiskas]

Thankyou for your replies. Yeah I think you are right. Having a baby is much more important in the long run, than my career. I can defer for a year yeah. I am not even pregnant yet and am worrying about things like childcare etc.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Thankyou for your replies. Yeah I think you are right. Having a baby is much more important in the long run, than my career. I can defer for a year yeah. I am not even pregnant yet and am worrying about things like childcare etc.

Thats a good thing. Alot of Uni's have nurserys on site. The only problem you may have is your shifts when you are on placement depending on your hours. But things like that can be worked out
xx

 

[MissingBubs]

You don't have to tell me how demanding nurse traing is! I did 18 months of a diploma course when I was 20. Worst 18 months of my life. I was far too young.
Can I just say, the most successful people on my course were those who were married with children. The younger ones all dropped out.
Just proves, it can be done if you want it enough.
I suppose it comes down to personal preference and circumstance, but it is achievable.
Good luck.
Oh, also my Mum did her nurse training when I was born and qualified when I was 3. She now has a Management degree (funded by the NHS) and is a manager at the hospital. She did that as a single parent of 2.
X

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

You don't have to tell me how demanding nurse traing is! I did 18 months of a diploma course when I was 20. Worst 18 months of my life. I was far too young.
Can I just say, the most successful people on my course were those who were married with children. The younger ones all dropped out.
Just proves, it can be done if you want it enough.
I suppose it comes down to personal preference and circumstance, but it is achievable.
Good luck.
Oh, also my Mum did her nurse training when I was born and qualified when I was 3. She now has a Management degree (funded by the NHS) and is a manager at the hospital. She did that as a single parent of 2.
X

That has given me hope. I have a child just not married.
xx

 

[MissingBubs]

Also, if you guys can cope on a bursery, you can get through any financial worries a child may bring.
I have major admiration and respect for any student nurse.
Good on you ladies. X

 

[catswhiskas]

Thankyou so much for these encouraging words!

 

[Essie]

I've just qualified, and there were several women on my intake who became pregnant and took time out. They're now in their final 6 months, just a cohort behind me. I don't think you're mad at all, I think if the time is right for you now then go for it!

 

[tabby28]

I'm in the same situation. I'm dong a very difficult, stressful, time-consuming BA, and I know I cannot really get pregnant now. It wouldn't be good for me, the baby or my OH. But I want to so much that it has totally affected my motivation towards studying. I just can't maintain the drive and passion I had in my first year (I am just coming towards the end of my second) because I feel like there is something much more important that I need to be doing. I am little younger than you (27), but still really feeling the pressure of age, which has been compounded by loosing my mothersix months ago to breast cancer - she was only 50, and it has made me so aware of how precious time is.

Its a tough tough decision you are facing. I dont yet know what I am going to do - I wish you all the best with making yours. The only thing I can say is that I still believe that being a mum is the most rewarding thing we will ever do - even though I know how important it is to be satisfied with your own life and successes to be a good parent. My mum was a doctor and very career driven; but she always told me that she did everything she ever did for me, and that if she hadn't had me she wouldnt have had the drive to do any of things she did with her life (incidentally she had me at 23 before going back to school and universityand becoming a doctor).

Good luck and hugs

 

[aimee-lou]

Personally, from my own perspective, you can have a career with a family. I have a dream career which is going to take a lot of work to get there, but I have my entire working life to get there. I'm 26 now, and I feel very lucky to have been given the opportunities I've had so far, my career is going well (unemployed at the moment but hey ) and I'm already married with my LO. We have 'the plan' for the next decade, and we'll get there eventually, but in my view with any decision you need to think, if I don't do this, when I'm 60 will I look back and wish I had? If the answers 'Yes' then do it!

 

[kintenda]

Hi hon,
I am waiting to start nurse training in Sept. We have decided that we will try in my last year of training - I will be 26 when I qualify. It has been a tough decision but I think this will be the best route for us personally. TBH I think that whatever works for you is best! We are both setting ourselves some goals to complete in the meantime. I understand the dilemma you're having and I just wanted to send you some hugs. xx

 

[dj's_wife]

I wanna go back to school for nursing as well but I won't put off having children first. I know that I don't wanna be pregnant during school, and I don't wanna miss the first year because I'm too busy with studies. So I've made the decision that I'll wait for sure until after our first is born and my 1 year mat leave is up.

so I guess my answer is....nope I don't think your crazy at all.

 

[Lil-woowoo]

I am in my third year of my training and qualify in august. I am 24 and have a 5 year old and god its been really hard and stressful. Juggling essays, exam prep, placement and a kiddie. Ideally i wish i had done my training before i had my son, as it isnt a position id put myself through again. Dont get me wrong i love nursing but its very demanding and stressful and i feel guilt towards my son. I have been a single parent (Me and my ex just got back together and doing great) through most of my training and i tell you its hard working 13 hour shifts and coming home and my wee one is tucked up in bed then going to sleep to be back up and another shift while my son is still asleep. Please dont see this as me putting you off, obviously plenty people out there do it, but its hard and only the toughest survive. I am hoping to TTC when i finish. x x

 

[eeyore2911]

I qualified as a nurse in October last year and currently work full time on a busy surgical ward. When I started my training I was 27 with two year old and it really wasn't all that bad!! There are lots of horror stories about how stressful it is but if you just take it as it comes and are prepared to spend ages juggling childcare and so on it is fine!! I won't lie... the uni/hospital are not really as accommodating as they might promise and the nurseries etc on campus and at the hospital very rarely work around nursing shifts. I think that if you feel ready now there is no harm in TTC - you are not a kid (you are the same age as me lol) and if you are the course when you get pregnant you can now take maternity leave. Also, no one knows how long it may take to get pregnant so you can never plan exactly! Managing on a bursary with a family is hard - i got no extra due to the fact that hubby works full time. They do not take into account bills, mortgage or anything and your bursary will probably be around the £500-£600 per month figure.THis sounds a lot until you realise that a full time nursery place costs upward of £130 per week... Leaving you zilch to leave on and I am in rather a humungous amount of debt but hey ho I got there in the end!! Good luck with whatever you decide, if you want to ask me anything please do!!

 

[Lil-woowoo]

I qualified as a nurse in October last year and currently work full time on a busy surgical ward. When I started my training I was 27 with two year old and it really wasn't all that bad!! There are lots of horror stories about how stressful it is but if you just take it as it comes and are prepared to spend ages juggling childcare and so on it is fine!! I won't lie... the uni/hospital are not really as accommodating as they might promise and the nurseries etc on campus and at the hospital very rarely work around nursing shifts. I think that if you feel ready now there is no harm in TTC - you are not a kid (you are the same age as me lol) and if you are the course when you get pregnant you can now take maternity leave. Also, no one knows how long it may take to get pregnant so you can never plan exactly! Managing on a bursary with a family is hard - i got no extra due to the fact that hubby works full time. They do not take into account bills, mortgage or anything and your bursary will probably be around the £500-£600 per month figure.THis sounds a lot until you realise that a full time nursery place costs upward of £130 per week... Leaving you zilch to leave on and I am in rather a humungous amount of debt but hey ho I got there in the end!! Good luck with whatever you decide, if you want to ask me anything please do!!

Just goes to show if youve got the right support its fine. Had i not been a single parent it would have been a lot less stressful for me, as it was in first year when we where together. But i agree with the nursery part, theres one at out hospital but its only normal working hours 8-6, but as long as youve got some for the lates and earlies youve pretty much sorted. Yeah from 2007 student nurse/midwives where entitled to bursary while on maternity which ic pretty good going. Theres been people all through the years falling pregnant and taking time out, then going back. x