Celebrities and IVF and a RANT

[CurlySue]

It’s a personal thing. Some people find it traumatic. It’s not rape, no, but it’s something a person has gone through that is theirs and theirs alone if they choose for it to be. Sex is personal. Family is personal. We have no right to lay claim on the private experiences of any celeb.

Some of them will come out and say “Yes, I had fertility treatment” whereas others would rather keep their children, and how their children are conceived, out of the public light. It’s only fair that they are allowed to do that without being criticised for it. If they WERENT famous they’d be allowed to keep it private after all without being criticised.

It’s none of our business. Yes, they choose to be in the public eye but at the end of the day it’s just their job. Just because they are famous does not give us the right to decide what they should or should not do. Every person, famous or not, has the right to privacy. We may lay claim to their movies, their music, but we should allow them their freedom in their personal life.

Its not about hiding it in shame. For a lot, it’s about keeping their private lives private. They have every right to that. It might not be about being imperfect. It might just be that it truly is none of our business.

As for a responsibility to be a positive role model or whatever, it’s a side-job, perhaps, but it’s not a requirement. Live and let live, I say. If they want to share it, so be it. If they don’t? Entirely up to them…

Yes celebrities are entilted to some private life, yes its traumatic, we all know that, your kinda missing the point though when you say if they WERENT famous, HUN they CHOOSE to be famous and for them they are lucky to have a dream job, earning LOTS of money (from us may i add!!!), should they not want to pay something back for that privallidge????!!! You seem to be thinking i am INSISTING they all share their stories?? I never said that! I just said i find it annoying that they dont, it's my opinion and its not something that i would do personally in their position. Their position is much more influential than OURS who are not in the public eye. Celebs have more influence, more power, and more social responsiability, they should take that position with pride and realise they can change things, and help others, although many are too selfish to think about doing so and thats how they got to the position in the first place!!!

It's another thing altogether to completely deny the use of IVF, like it's some failing on their part as women or man or couple to admit they needed help. That really upsets me as it perpetuates the belief that IVF is something to be hidden!!! Its nothing to be ashamed of, although celebs hiding it or denying it make us all think it is.......why do you think many of us are not willing to share our pain with family and friends..... well, thats because deep down WE are embarrased, we feel as though we have failed!!! Celebs can help us change that, so other people in the future DO NOT feel like that, because the IGNORANCE surrounding infertility will be LESSENED due to everyday people reading how common it is, in everyday media, instead of being slightly shocked at 1 celeb out of 50 admitting, YES, they needed help!!!

Jennifer Lopez and Nicole Kidman both denied they used IVF to become pregnant. Why? Does that mean all us people having to use IVF / ICSI or treatments are shit, failures and a lesser mortal! NO!!! but they must think we are as they are ashamed to admit they needed help!

Like i say, they choose to be in the public eye and are all to happy to take money out of OUR pockets to pay for their luxery villas, and their 18 IVF treatments, when many of us struggle to pay for even ONE!! So have they a total right to privacy?? Debateable!! Besides i never said they should BE MADE to tell their story, i said it would be nice if they did and it annoys me somewhat they so many are ashamed / unwilling to do so for whatever reasons, yet they will be in the next issue of HELLO, promoting their new single and selling their baby photos and showing off their massive mansion, bought by the way, with the money WE pay to read the magazine in the first place!!!

I would like to think that I would be kind enough to think of others and share my story, particularly as it might give some people hope and make them feel less alone and particularly since many of those people had put me in a special position of power and influence giving me the ability to change public perception of infertility!!!

You find it annoying that they are not sharing their stories yet you are choosing not to share your own even with your close friends and family because you want to 'protect your husband's privacy'. Maybe that's what they are doing too. Protecting their family. Their non-famous family. Even if they do owe us something (which they don't) do their husbands and wives?

There's an irony in there somewhere, actually, when you consider the fact that many of these 'celebrities' have husbands or wives who are not famous at all. What of THEIR privacy? Are they not entitled to that, too? Your'e not talking about them sharing with their friends and family either. You're talking about them sharing with the world. They don't want to. We should respect that. And yes, in their own time they have a total right to privacy. They give enough at public events, etc. When the camera stops rolling and the public event finishes then it's THEIR time and they're entitled to that.

You are entitled to your opinion. They are entitled to theirs. You may find it 'annoying' but I'm sure they find it annoying when people expect them to share their stories simply because they 'chose' to be famous. For the record, not all famous people choose to be famous. They just happen to do a job that puts them in the public eye.

In an ideal world it'd be nice if people shouted it from the rooftops, but this isn't an ideal world and infertility affects people in different ways. We should respect that. Nicole Kidman didn't use IVF either. She used Clomid. She doesn't deny using fertility drugs, nor does she deny the fact that she had two miscarriages. Jennifer Lopez is strange anyway so she lives in her own little world.

TBH the only reason I have this opinion is that i have known 'celebrities' - and I've seen the way their lives have been fucked up by people expecting too much from them. Expecting them to 'share their soul' simply because they are famous. I've known people who, in the past, have woken up with people crashed out on their lawn having slept there all night because those people thought that they had a right to be there. It's not fair. It's not right. They're only people.

That's MY rant and I'll leave it at that.

We are all entitled to our own opinions and decisions. Celebrities included.

 

[chocci]

You find it annoying that they are not sharing their stories yet you are choosing not to share your own even with your close friends and family because you want to 'protect your husband's privacy'...

There's an irony in there somewhere, actually, when you consider the fact that many of these 'celebrities' have husbands or wives who are not famous at all. What of THEIR privacy? Are they not entitled to that, too? Your'e not talking about them sharing with their friends and family either. You're talking about them sharing with the world. They don't want to. We should respect that. And yes, in their own time they have a total right to privacy. They give enough at public events, etc. When the camera stops rolling and the public event finishes then it's THEIR time and they're entitled to that.

You are entitled to your opinion. They are entitled to theirs. You may find it 'annoying' but I'm sure they find it annoying when people expect them to share their stories simply because they 'chose' to be famous. For the record, not all famous people choose to be famous. They just happen to do a job that puts them in the public eye.

In an ideal world it'd be nice if people shouted it from the rooftops, but this isn't an ideal world and infertility affects people in different ways. We should respect that.

TBH the only reason I have this opinion is that i have known 'celebrities' - and I've seen the way their lives have been fucked up by people expecting too much from them. It's not fair.

You need to read what i am saying CurlySue, I have not once said they should share their story before they have a success, there is no irony in my statement at all if your have read and understood what i have said. I said I UNDERSTAND not wanting to give all details, I SAID i understand not wanting to dicuss it while going through treatment, I SAID I dont understand not admitting it once they have had a success, I DON'T understand why some deny it. I give in trying to reason with you since you seem to go out of your way to disagree with me and misquote what i write!!

 

[CurlySue]

They deny it because it protects them. Because it's none of anybody's business. Because that's their way of dealing with things. Even if they have had success it's none of our business and if they want to deny it what business is it of ours?

You find them annoying. Fair play. I just feel they have rights as well as we do.

 

[chocci]

Whatever, but i think its nice to read success stories! I like positivity and not negativity! There is something special about reading about a successful treatment when going through treatments yourself. Like I say celebrities are in a privalidge position and can share their success with us, and reach out to those who are in the same boat, they know how it feels but many choose not to, they can change public perception that IVF is for failures, but many choose not to........I dont think i am unreasonable thinking its annoying that people with such power and influence choose not to use it positively to help people, i find it quite selfish to be honest. Like i say they dont have to give the ins and outs, just firstly admitting they needed help too would be a start!

 

[yjess]

Have you considered that these celebs may not even want to tell their children that they were ivf babies? - (rightly or wrongly - their choice) or perhaps, want to be the ones that tell them when THEY choose to, not let them hear it from someone who read it in a magazine.

I agree that it's "annoying" that other people don't understand how hard IF is but, as an adult, I've realised that in life you just don't get everything you want & life IS very unfair! Getting upset about things you really can't change is negative and a waste of energy!

It would be great if everyone was happy to be open about ivf/donor eggs but it's never going to happen as everyone has different thresholds of what they want others to know about them. I guess as a celeb, when the general public know almost everything about you then the last thing you want them to know about is your sex life & family. Unless of course you're Katie Price!

After 7 years of ttc & months of Clomid, 4 iuis and 4 failed icsis in UK, we went abroad for icsi with donor eggs - the first go ended in m/c at 7 weeks, I went again the next month & finally on my 6th go had a successful pregnancy & now have a fab 16month old DD - I am happy to shout it from the rooftops!! I want everyone to be able to experience what I now have & would urge anyone to consider going to the Serum clinic to see the amazing fertility specialist, Penny Abatzi - for donor eggs - she truly is a living saint!

Good luck to everyone else!

Jess x

 

[DragonMummy]

I think it is up to them. If they want to share, great. If they want to keep it private that is absolutely their right. I don't think it's fair to say they have to because they have chosen to be in the public eye. I agree if things come out in the media then that's tough, par for the course but I don't think they should have to disclose that they have had treatment. If I suddenly won X factor and became a pop star I certainly wouldn't want people to know of my fertility struggles, famous or not! It's none of anyone's beeswax!

 

[Icey]

Think you have all understood what choccie was saying, all choccie said was she doesnt understand why celebs dont share their experience not that they SHOULD and we have a right to! How i read it choccie simply said that it would be nice if more celebs did and helped rid society of the stigma that is infertility and doesnt understand why people with such power who have been through all we have would not want to do that.

I personally don't understand why they seem so ashamed, the fact that barely anyone speaks about infertility perpetuates that shame people have about fertility problems.

Yes celebs have a right to keep things personal, though many choose not to if they want to make a few bucks and it is not tooooo embarrasing for them! Of course admitting you are infertile is embarrasing, suggests you are less than perfect and weak. Of course no celeb likes that, they want to be loved and admired, it's why they do the job they do and probably the reason so few admit their infertility!

Saying that they may not want their children to find out they were created through ivf is a bit daft since really i think people have no choice but to tell their children that they were ivf unless that want to risk the biggest fall out with them when they are old enough to understand.

My admiration goes to Celine Dion, Gabby Yorath, Courtney Cox.... oh and even Jordan who is not ashamed to speak truthfully about having to resort to IVF...

Good luck to all with fertility problems and never be ashamed to admit you need help making a baby of your own, its nothing to be ashamed of!!

 

[Omi]

Speaking of celebs sharing their ivf stories. Anyone read the interview with Davinia Taylor (minor celeb,, soap actress) where she was asked about her IVF? And she answered, and i quote: we didn't do it cause we had any problems its just that i didn't wanna wait while ttc and i quite fancied twins'. WTF?

Say what you want about celebs wanting to keep some things private but i suspect a lot of people are doing this. In fact, Ive heard from a few sources it is not unheard of. I guess if you have the money etc. But i think that's outrageous!! Is it just me?

 

[Debbie82]

Speaking of celebs sharing their ivf stories. Anyone read the interview with Davinia Taylor (minor celeb,, soap actress) where she was asked about her IVF? And she answered, and i quote: we didn't do it cause we had any problems its just that i didn't wanna wait while ttc and i quite fancied twins'. WTF?

Say what you want about celebs wanting to keep some things private but i suspect a lot of people are doing this. In fact, Ive heard from a few sources it is not unheard of. I guess if you have the money etc. But i think that's outrageous!! Is it just me?

After trying over 2yrs and facing the dreaded thought that I might need to face IVF I cannot understand why anyone would do it out of laziness.

I am determined to do everything in my power not to go though it (not that I seem to have any control) as the thought of the emotional rollercoaster that it is fills me with dread.

It sounds like laziness on their part

 

[summerbreeze8]

I agree with Choccie as well. I find it heartbreaking when everyone around me seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat, but it seems like celebs are constantly getting pregnant - every time I open a magazine there are pages of cute baby bumps. There seems to be a lot that say they have PCOS, then fall pregnant within a month. She wasn't saying that they should all be shouting it from the rooftops, just that it would help millions of women in similar situations to know that others are going through things such as IVF and that it can affect anyone. Also that it is quite normal to have fertility problems & to inspire other couples in that situation. I don't think I've heard of a celeb with endo by the way?

 

[summerbreeze8]

Oh yeah and I read that about Davinia Taylor as well - that is when it is money madness!

 

[mtngirl]

I think the big mess up is when celebs like Kelly Preston, or Nancy Grace, get pregnant at 47, which is pretty well biologically impossible, and it's like a smug 'See I have it all - a career, I work out and look better than most 30 year olds, and now I'm having a baby'. Oh, and the baby weight is gone within a month!
Then it puts pressure on women like 'Whoa, she could be my mom and I can't get pregnant'.

 

[summerbreeze8]

Katie Price admitted to 2 rounds of IVF on This Morning today!

 

[hanzy29]

i reckon victoria beckham has too!!! she has severe pcos by her own admittance, i doubt whether she has managed 3 natrual conceptions. xx

 

[Icey]

I agree with Choccie as well. I find it heartbreaking when everyone around me seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat, but it seems like celebs are constantly getting pregnant - every time I open a magazine there are pages of cute baby bumps. There seems to be a lot that say they have PCOS, then fall pregnant within a month. She wasn't saying that they should all be shouting it from the rooftops, just that it would help millions of women in similar situations to know that others are going through things such as IVF and that it can affect anyone. Also that it is quite normal to have fertility problems & to inspire other couples in that situation. I don't think I've heard of a celeb with endo by the way?

Louise Rednapp had Endo and though she would need IVF so i thought but managed to get preggers naturally.... i think ???

 

[Icey]

I tell you what i dont get at the moment, Jordon, saying they have basically been told that his sperm is normal, so why are they ahving ICSi? Errmmmm they only resort to ICSi if there are severe sperm problems or there has been a previous round of IVF with poor or zero fertilisation, they much prefer the eggs and sperm to do their job themselves rather than ICSI if they can avoid it. Does she think we are daft? I suppose maybe she is trying to protect him but i think it is pretty obvious he is the one with the fertility problems.